When bosses go on rampages

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:54 am

How many of you have had one of those days at work when your boss just goes on a rampage for no apparent reason? I had one last night.

Normally, when I arrive to work, the owner leaves. She knows she can trust me, and for Christ's sake, the woman is 82 and still puts in 10-hour days.

Well, last night, she stuck around and was on my ass and the waitresses ass like flies on dung. Scrutinizing every move we made, going into my till to check money, trying to wait on customers that she didn't think I was getting to quick enough, pulling together all the tabs I had running and asking questions about each and every one...just nit-picking on the stupidest crap.

At one point, I had collected the money for a tab, and stuck the money and the tab in my back pocket to be cashed out when I had 3 seconds to breathe. She came around, nosing in my stack of tabs and asked, "Where is that tab that Danny had?" I pulled it out of my pocket and showed it to her and she wanted to know what the hell it was doing in my pocket. I explained that being so busy and Danny having told me to keep the change, I was waiting till I had a second to cash it out. She insinuated that I was STEALING. I was livid. I said, "Shirley....seriously now....I have worked for bars for 16 years and in all that time, I have never, EVER stolen one red cent from my bosses. This tab is for $7.75. Do you REALLY think I'm going to risk my job for 8 dollars???? If I was going to steal from you, it would be a hell of a lot more than 8 bucks, and you know what else? You would never know about it."

GAWD, she was making me and my waitress a nervous wreck. Every time she stepped up to a customer to ask them what they needed, I basically shoved (gently) her aside and waited on them myself. I do not need or want her help behind my bar, period. She gets in the way and screws up my drawer and my keno till. She was nuts!! She is getting senile, losing her grip, getting forgetful and I think she realizes what is happening to her, and is p!sed off that she's losing control.

Do you have a boss that just goes ape-sh!t once in a while?? Do you want to strangle them as much as I wanted to strangle mine last night??

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:10 am

I'm sure the people who work for me think I go ape S**t sometimes but I sure try not too. But ya gotta admit sometimes they need a little "encouragement" at times just to remind them who the boss is.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:18 am

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, BR, these are DEFINETLY symptoms of Alzheimers. You should read up on it. Especially the nasty attitude.

I'll post a link.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:20 am

DesignerGal wrote: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, BR, these are DEFINETLY symptoms of Alzheimers. You should read up on it. Especially the nasty attitude.

I'll post a link.
That would be very helpful, DG, as her daughter is the manager and I could voice my concerns to her, and not have to approach the boss and say, "I think you're losing your mind." I'll read up on whatever you send me, thank you.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:23 am

1. Forgetfulness with effects at work:

Most people sometimes forget names or appointments. If this happens more frequently and inexplicable states of confusion also occur, this might be an indication for a decline in memory function.

2. Difficulties with familiar activities:

People who are very busy are sometimes absent-minded and for example forget the pot on the stove. People with dementia possibly not only forget the pot on the stove but also that they have cooked at all.

3. Language problems:

Most people sometimes experience difficulties in finding the right words. Dementia sufferers often cannot remember simple words and instead they use inappropriate fillers which makes it difficult to understand the sentences.

4. Problems with spatial and temporal orientation:

A lot of people sometimes forget e.g. the day of the week or they get lost in unfamiliar surroundings. Dementia sufferers might be in their own street and no longer know where they are, how they got there and how to get home again.

5. Impaired capacity of judgement:

People not always choose clothes suitable for the weather. Dementia sufferers sometimes wear totally inappropriate clothes. For example, they wear a bathrobe while shopping or several blouses on top of each other on a hot summer day.

6. Problems with abstract thinking:

For many people running a bank account is a challenge. Dementia patients can often neither recognise numbers nor carry out simple calculations.

7. Leaving things behind:

From time to time almost everybody leaves their keys or a wallet behind. Dementia sufferers however might put things in completely inappropriate places, such as for example the iron in the fridge or a watch in the sugar bowl. Afterwards they do not remember where they put them.

8. Mood swings and behavioural changes

Everybody has mood swings. People with dementia may have very sudden mood swings, often without discernible cause.

9. Personality changes:

With advancing age the personality of most people changes a little. People affected by dementia may experience a very pronounced personality change suddenly or over a longer period of time. Somebody who is generally friendly, for example, becomes unexpectedly angry, jealous or timid.

10. Loss of initiative:

Nobody continuously works with the same motivation. Dementia patients sometimes loose the zest in their work and the interest in their hobbies completely without enjoying new activities.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:25 am

There is absolutely nothing more frustrating to a honest person than being accused of dishonesty. Nothing p's me off more than that. But One more little saying I made up that I try to remember at these times. "If you allow a person to make you mad and ruin your day you have just made them a very powerful person over you by allowing them to ruin your day. I say take the power back!"

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:28 am

Oh WOW. SO much of that describes her perfectly. To a "T".

One day, about 2 weeks ago, we found her driving in circles in the parking lot, as if she couldn't remember if she was just getting there, or just leaving. She has been heard to say things like, "What are all these people doing in my house?" while she's in the bar. This is pretty friggin serious.....

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:31 am

I was thinking Dementia also, especially if this is a new behavior, and unlike her prior ways of dealing with you.

But, that aside, I remember one boss from H*E*L*L I had once. She seemed to criticize every move I made and seemed to justify it with a "because I am the manager" attitude. I mean, I knew she was the manager, and I respected her position..but I hated the fact that she seemed to look down on the rest of us, and any suggestions we made, or things we tried to do.

One example...this job was a group home for people with developmental disabilities. Our work week consisted of 4 evening shifts, and an overnight. One of the tasks at each shift was to get out the residents money, count it, and match it against the ledger that was kept...if any money was off, we were to call the house manager. Technically it was supposed to be done at shift change, but sometimes, it was done later. So, one overnight, I did not get to checking the money till about 3 AM. And I found discrepencies in about 4 or 5 of the envelopes. So, OK:-5 *sigh*

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:54 am

BR, I'd have a talk with her daughter. Something needs to be done before she hurts herself.

OK for my raging boss story. A couple of years ago, I was recruited to work corn harvest. It was my first time and I thought I was getting the hang of it. One day we had started a new round in the field, which meant I had to follow behind the combine instead of beside it. We had almost reached the end when the combine became full. So Dave who's on the combine, stops backs up and proceeds to cut out a space where I can pull up beside him, so he could unload the corn. So I go barrelling up there for him to dump. I didn't realize that he had meant for me to ease up there just so he could unload enough to get to end of field. My first time, I didn't know. Anyways when I barrelled up there, I ended up running over one of the snoots on the header. I didn't hurt anything, but Dave is going on a rampage. He's yelling and cussing and I'm laughing my ass off. When it looked he was done with his tantrum, I got off the tractor and asked if he was done, and if he needed help getting underwear out of his arse, cause they sure seemed to be in a bunch. I got the finger and another string of cuss words. So I just got back on my tractor laughing.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 9:51 am

The doctor that I work for occasionally freaks out and acts like an a.s.s.

It used to bother me and upset me quite a bit.

Now I say to myself, "Thank God I don't have to go to sleep and wake up with this man every day."

And . . . then I feel much better:)

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:07 am

I guess the thing that bothers me most about this, (besides the fact that my boss could be a danger to herself, and other people) is that, if she does not trust me behind her bar, handling her money and her business, I don't belong there.

It's just so frustrating, knowing that the woman is probably 3/4 off her rocker and I still have to suck up the sh!t she throws at me, even though it's completely unjustified.

One day she treats me like I'm one of her grandkids, worrying about how I'm holding up with my home life situation, and the next second she's ripping my face off about 8 dollars. :-5 :-5

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:14 am

BR, have a talk with her daughter. See where it takes you.

You always have the option of tending bar elsewhere if things get out of control. Knowing that, maybe you can ride this out a bit longer.

I know you feel sorry for this woman. Maybe after you speak with her daughter, changes will be made at the bar and things will go back to normal.

Good luck:)

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:37 am

I could NEVER give up this job. I make ridiculous amounts of money tending bar here. There is no place that could come close to what I make there. If I told you what I average there with my hourly rate and tips, you would call me a liar.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 2:32 pm

DesignerGal wrote: 1. Forgetfulness with effects at work:

2. Difficulties with familiar activities:

3. Language problems:

4. Problems with spatial and temporal orientation:

5. Impaired capacity of judgement:

6. Problems with abstract thinking:

7. Leaving things behind:

8. Mood swings and behavioural changes

9. Personality changes:

10. Loss of initiative:

Now I'm seriously worried - with the exception of number 6 that describes me to a T!

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:36 am

I guess, just keep in mind its not you, personally, BR. This woman definetly has the onset of dementia or Alzheimers. That should be comforting to you. Let us know what her daughter thinks. Remember to be suggestive and instead of offensive, the daughter might not be ready to hear these things about her own mother, or refuse to believe it, after all, the first step is denial, then you know its anger, depression, bargaining and then acceptance. So it might take a while to get her (the daughter) on board with you.

My sisters and I are trying to convince my father he has sever bi-polar disorder. The relationship isnt pretty right now.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:02 am

DesignerGal wrote: My sisters and I are trying to convince my father he has sever bi-polar disorder. The relationship isnt pretty right now.

Oh, DG, that must be very difficult.

How is it going?

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:07 am

cherandbuster wrote: Oh, DG, that must be very difficult.

How is it going?

So, I dont hijack this thread, I will start another...

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:26 am

DesignerGal wrote: I guess, just keep in mind its not you, personally, BR. This woman definetly has the onset of dementia or Alzheimers. That should be comforting to you. Let us know what her daughter thinks. Remember to be suggestive and instead of offensive, the daughter might not be ready to hear these things about her own mother, or refuse to believe it, after all, the first step is denial, then you know its anger, depression, bargaining and then acceptance. So it might take a while to get her (the daughter) on board with you.

My sisters and I are trying to convince my father he has sever bi-polar disorder. The relationship isnt pretty right now.
I know I sholdn't take it personally, but this woman has treated me like a granddaughter through all the BS with Matt and then to have her turn around and rip my face off and accuse me of stealing, it's more than I can handle in my ultra-sensitive state right now. I want to bite back at everyone, and if there is one woman you do NOT want as an enemy, it is my boss.

I think, if you guys think this is a good idea, that at first, I will simply print out the info you posted for me, and leave it anonymously on her daughters desk. What do you think of that idea?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:38 am

BR, I think that is fine. The important thing is to try to open the lines of communication with her.

If/when the daughter talks with you about it, you can let her know that you care and are concerned for her mother.

Will you do that at work tonight? Keep us posted on what transpires.

It sucks getting old, doesn't it?

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:42 am

cherandbuster wrote: BR, I think that is fine. The important thing is to try to open the lines of communication with her.

If/when the daughter talks with you about it, you can let her know that you care and are concerned for her mother.

Will you do that at work tonight? Keep us posted on what transpires.

It sucks getting old, doesn't it?

I do work tonight and if I can sneak the thing past the ol' lady, (she's incredibly shrewd and observant) I will leave it for Connie tonight.

It does suck getting old, but honestly, I hope I have the faculties that she still does at that age. I'll pass on the forgetfullness and mood swings, but she's still damn sharp, at 82.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:49 am

BR, I'm glad you appreciate the wonderful qualities in her as well as the 'other stuff'.

It helps put things into perspective.

Good luck tonight.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 11:18 am

Ive just noticed that Anastrophe has some information on Alzheimers in his sig line. I clicked on it. Maybe you could research there, too, BR.