Gotta say that In my job, I am always faced with situations that require a decision of some sort or another, and I have to say that most of the time, i worry about what other people will think about what I have done. I think that it is probably my biggest character flaw, as I see it anyway.
It's probably one of the things that I really wish I could change.
Self Determined or Other Determined
Self Determined or Other Determined
Behaviour breeds behaviour - treat people how you would like to be treated yourself
Self Determined or Other Determined
If I know in my own mind that a decision I've made feels the right one, I'm confident to go along with it.
However, if there is any element of doubt I'll alway's ask for an opinion, but that HAS to be from someone I trust to be level headed. Then I'll way up all the pro's and con's.
Mostly though, I'll go it alone ..... (having the stubborn streak that I do!) ....:wah:
However, if there is any element of doubt I'll alway's ask for an opinion, but that HAS to be from someone I trust to be level headed. Then I'll way up all the pro's and con's.
Mostly though, I'll go it alone ..... (having the stubborn streak that I do!) ....:wah:
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chonsigirl
- Posts: 33633
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am
Self Determined or Other Determined
Self determined...................
Self Determined or Other Determined
At work, I will ask one of the officers if they are there. If they aren't there and a decision needs to be made, I will make it and not worry about it. It drives me insane when, on my day off, the other girls will call and ask me what to do, especially when it is something simple with no wrong answer.
At home, I will ask my husband's opinion, simply for the fact that as a family, any decision he or I make, affects the whole family.
At home, I will ask my husband's opinion, simply for the fact that as a family, any decision he or I make, affects the whole family.
Self Determined or Other Determined
I know a lady that just can't seem to make any type of decision herself. She will ask opinion after opinion. I just don't see how she has survived so long unable to decide the simplest of things. She went car shopping. I patiently explained different size engines, etc. with her. I armed her with as much car info as I possibly could. I told her to look under the hood, etc. look for oil, etc. I told her to go in there and act like she knew exactly what she was looking for. She wanted me to go with her, but I just couldn't put myself through that! She ended up just keeping the car she's been driving.:wah:
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Accountable
- Posts: 24818
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am
Self Determined or Other Determined
I try not to make any decision in a vacuum. Even if the decision is fairly easy and logical, I'll "think it through out loud" to someone else either disinterested (no axe to grind) or affected by the decision, depending on the circumstances.
But in the end, the decision is mine and mine alone. I will not point blame at someone else if it goes wrong.
But in the end, the decision is mine and mine alone. I will not point blame at someone else if it goes wrong.
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Captain Ray
- Posts: 278
- Joined: Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:04 pm
Self Determined or Other Determined
never look back.. Once you decide to walk down the yellow brick road.. you have to believe the yellow brick road was the right one..
It's not so important that you have a good plan.. just having a plan is good enough in most cases.
Raymond
It's not so important that you have a good plan.. just having a plan is good enough in most cases.
Raymond
Self Determined or Other Determined
Having survived on earth up till 34 its obvious that I make decisions that are my own by inevitably qualified by circumstances and social pressures, and upbringing. Apparently decision-making is a very complicated process, and we are far less determined about things than we like to think, especially in areas where our decisions are likely to go against the grain, or will cause us monetary loss or physical or emotional pain. This is self evident, as we generally like to think of ourselves in a positive manner, in the way that most men think they can drive brilliantly, despite the evidence. (though of course some can, myself included)
I would say that looking at my own life and those of people around me that in reality we generally sail down the stream of life trying to avoid as many obstacles (and painful decisions) as possible, though we all inevitably do have to make tough choices about things (I certainly have, and I can't say I enjoyed the process, and my success rate is probably 50/50 at best). Although going with the flow is a sound strategy in general terms, (and is built into us as a species by the way before you protest too much), its certainly true that it can cause great individual unhappiness in people, for instance as individuals how many people are in relationships they are not happy with, jobs they don't like, friends they don't really understand, fight in wars they don't care about, elect people they don't really trust etc. etc. Its not that people are weak or anything its just that in general we are not really as conciously in control of our lives or even ourselves as we might like to imagine. And many of the things we do, we don't do for any conciously "sound" reason, we just want to do them, i.e. its instinct kicking in and our instincts tell us more than anything to "fit in" into our own social group. (hence the power of government, money, marketing, nationalism, or religion, or any of the great social human ideas and especially religion). Of course its not that simple as we are intelligent and concious and so we are able to abstract things and make decisions which truly take a huge amount of courage and will power, but that tends to be the exception rather than the rule.
Personally, I don't really mind not being really in control anyway as that sort of idea of being able to control the world around you and the events that shape your life is an illusion, somewhat conceited, and in its extreme form is kinda pathological. Its not that we don't have free will, we do, its just that its not as free as we like to think.
Anyway, bringing it back to a personal level, if you think about it, most of the best decisions that we likely to make when young are about how to recover after making bad judgements based on our less than noble desires, and most of the best ones when we get older just involve avoiding things that we know instinctively are going to cause us problems down the line. Its a rare human being that decides how their life will go and what they are going to do, exactly, and then carry that out. Though I suppose Alexander the Great was a good exception to that rule, but he wasn't called "great" for nothin, and he shoulda known that the water in bablyon was a bit dodgy shouldn't he, bad move alex.
I would say that looking at my own life and those of people around me that in reality we generally sail down the stream of life trying to avoid as many obstacles (and painful decisions) as possible, though we all inevitably do have to make tough choices about things (I certainly have, and I can't say I enjoyed the process, and my success rate is probably 50/50 at best). Although going with the flow is a sound strategy in general terms, (and is built into us as a species by the way before you protest too much), its certainly true that it can cause great individual unhappiness in people, for instance as individuals how many people are in relationships they are not happy with, jobs they don't like, friends they don't really understand, fight in wars they don't care about, elect people they don't really trust etc. etc. Its not that people are weak or anything its just that in general we are not really as conciously in control of our lives or even ourselves as we might like to imagine. And many of the things we do, we don't do for any conciously "sound" reason, we just want to do them, i.e. its instinct kicking in and our instincts tell us more than anything to "fit in" into our own social group. (hence the power of government, money, marketing, nationalism, or religion, or any of the great social human ideas and especially religion). Of course its not that simple as we are intelligent and concious and so we are able to abstract things and make decisions which truly take a huge amount of courage and will power, but that tends to be the exception rather than the rule.
Personally, I don't really mind not being really in control anyway as that sort of idea of being able to control the world around you and the events that shape your life is an illusion, somewhat conceited, and in its extreme form is kinda pathological. Its not that we don't have free will, we do, its just that its not as free as we like to think.
Anyway, bringing it back to a personal level, if you think about it, most of the best decisions that we likely to make when young are about how to recover after making bad judgements based on our less than noble desires, and most of the best ones when we get older just involve avoiding things that we know instinctively are going to cause us problems down the line. Its a rare human being that decides how their life will go and what they are going to do, exactly, and then carry that out. Though I suppose Alexander the Great was a good exception to that rule, but he wasn't called "great" for nothin, and he shoulda known that the water in bablyon was a bit dodgy shouldn't he, bad move alex.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Self Determined or Other Determined
I trust my instincts, but often Ill feel people out for advice or just to see if theres something I might be missing. Im not so opininated that I think I know whats right all the time. If its an important decision Ill think it through quite thoroughly, if not Ill just forge ahead and hope Im right. I ask for directions too.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Self Determined or Other Determined
Nomad wrote: I trust my instincts, but often Ill feel people out for advice or just to see if theres something I might be missing. Im not so opininated that I think I know whats right all the time. If its an important decision Ill think it through quite thoroughly, if not Ill just forge ahead and hope Im right. I ask for directions too.
Noone has, noone ever will know what's right all the time.
Noone has, noone ever will know what's right all the time.
Self Determined or Other Determined
I used to be a rash decision maker. Then would be upset with the results. I learned after a while to stop and think before rushing into something.
"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"
my son
my son