Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches , it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
The Guys' Rules
The Guys' Rules
A witch will get a better grip on the broom if she is without panties!
The Guys' Rules
Hope the mosquitos don't get your butt when you're sleeping naked on the front porch! :wah:
My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay
The Guys' Rules
Will you marry me, Fisher... Nar maybe not!!
Girls Rule, OK.
--------------------
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO."
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... Did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water to herself.
She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore impractical lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants.
THE END
.
Girls Rule, OK.
--------------------
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO."
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... Did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water to herself.
She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore impractical lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants.
THE END
.
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"
The Guys' Rules
ANNNNND....I'll bet she could fart any time she wanted!
My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay
-
nvalleyvee
- Posts: 5191
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:57 am
The Guys' Rules
Actually at 50 years old I found this quit humorous because it could be taken as MY way...................When you get older you just look at relationships as FUNNY.......Goodness.....................there is very little that matters so much as companionship and sex..........agree to agree.......it makes older love very compatible. I doubt I would ever have a relationship like the one I have at 50 years old if I had not been a bitch in my earlier ones..........There is a lot of give and take now............No kids to argue over, no jobs to argue over, no meaning of life to argue over, let's just get old together.
It's just......how can we spent the rest of our lives together because we DO NOT WANT to be alone again!!!!!!
When you decide you are meant for each other in your fifties......there is a calming place that comes with that................
Thanks All......
I love my hubby I married at 49 and we've been together for over a year.
Go figure.............
It's just......how can we spent the rest of our lives together because we DO NOT WANT to be alone again!!!!!!
When you decide you are meant for each other in your fifties......there is a calming place that comes with that................
Thanks All......
I love my hubby I married at 49 and we've been together for over a year.
Go figure.............
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
The Guys' Rules
> It is important for men to remember that, as women
> grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain
> the same quality of housekeeping as when they were
> younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at
> them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing
> worse than an oversensitive woman.
>
> My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the
> situation with my wife, Debbie. When I took "early
> retirement" last year, it became necessary for
> Debbie to get a full-time job along with her part-
> time job, both for extra income and for the health
> benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started
> working, I noticed she was beginning to show her
> age. I usually get home from the golf course about
> the same time she gets home from work.
>
> Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
> always says she has to rest for half an hour or so
> before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.
> Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake
> me when she gets dinner on table. I generally have
> lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out
> is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked
> grub when I hit that door.
>
> She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished
> eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on
> the table for several hours after dinner. I do what
> I can by diplomatically reminding her several times
> each evening that they won't clean themselves. I
> know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to
> motivate her to get them done before she goes to
> bed.
>
> Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.
> For example she will say that it is difficult for
> her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her
> lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or
> worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.
> I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
> days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
> I also remind her that missing lunch completely now
> and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what
> I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
> points.
>
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she
> needs more rest periods. She had to take a break
> when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
>
> I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell
> her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
> freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.
> And, as long as she is making one for herself, she
> may as well make one for me too.
>
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the
> way I support Debbie. I'm not saying that showing
> this much consideration is easy. Many men will find
> it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody
> knows better than I do how frustrating women get as
> they get older. However, guys, even if you just use
> a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
> wife because of this article, I will consider that
> writing it was well worthwhile.
>
> After all, we are put on this earth to help each
> other.....
>Ok Now I am dead. Right? lol
> grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain
> the same quality of housekeeping as when they were
> younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at
> them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing
> worse than an oversensitive woman.
>
> My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the
> situation with my wife, Debbie. When I took "early
> retirement" last year, it became necessary for
> Debbie to get a full-time job along with her part-
> time job, both for extra income and for the health
> benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started
> working, I noticed she was beginning to show her
> age. I usually get home from the golf course about
> the same time she gets home from work.
>
> Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
> always says she has to rest for half an hour or so
> before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.
> Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake
> me when she gets dinner on table. I generally have
> lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out
> is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked
> grub when I hit that door.
>
> She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished
> eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on
> the table for several hours after dinner. I do what
> I can by diplomatically reminding her several times
> each evening that they won't clean themselves. I
> know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to
> motivate her to get them done before she goes to
> bed.
>
> Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.
> For example she will say that it is difficult for
> her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her
> lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or
> worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.
> I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
> days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
> I also remind her that missing lunch completely now
> and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what
> I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
> points.
>
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she
> needs more rest periods. She had to take a break
> when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
>
> I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell
> her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
> freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.
> And, as long as she is making one for herself, she
> may as well make one for me too.
>
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the
> way I support Debbie. I'm not saying that showing
> this much consideration is easy. Many men will find
> it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody
> knows better than I do how frustrating women get as
> they get older. However, guys, even if you just use
> a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
> wife because of this article, I will consider that
> writing it was well worthwhile.
>
> After all, we are put on this earth to help each
> other.....
>Ok Now I am dead. Right? lol
A witch will get a better grip on the broom if she is without panties!
The Guys' Rules
Not just dead...but stone COLD dead! :wah: In fact, you sleep with the fishes!
My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay
The Guys' Rules
I'd say stone cold DEAD and very much ALONE forever and evermore.
:p
I take that back well, part of it. Yer rules are wif you, goodl:wah:
:p I take that back well, part of it. Yer rules are wif you, goodl:wah:
miriam:yh_flower
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
The Guys' Rules
fisher it makes me feel good to know that i'm not the only kind sensitive loving guy out there:wah:
The Guys' Rules
jimbo wrote: fisher it makes me feel good to know that i'm not the only kind sensitive loving guy out there:wah:
Great.I see you have one lucky wife as well.:wah: :wah:
Great.I see you have one lucky wife as well.:wah: :wah:
A witch will get a better grip on the broom if she is without panties!