Darwin Awards 2006

[Chookie]

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water

after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve

his car keys.

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A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"

accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

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Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into

the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21,

dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in

a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying

him beneath 5 feet of sand.

People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels,

trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could

not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour

to free him while about 200 people looked on.

Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

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Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first

through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarising. Death was caused

when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands

free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

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Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet

with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets

into his mouth and pull the trigger.

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HONOURABLE MENTION:

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalised in Andover township, NJ, and his wife

Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their

car.

While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to

toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to

notice the window was closed.

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RUNNER UP:

TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of

them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows

Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at

least 10

men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30AM.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had

brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and

pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby.

One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was

tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and

tore his foot off at the ankle.

He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued

by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say"

said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's

just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

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AND THE WINNER:

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his

constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a

bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally

let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the

ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.

"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked

Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay

unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him"

said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there

to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a

watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated!

[guppy]

i dont feel so stupid now. i can't believe some of the things people do........