The Snoozie Story...

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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valerie
Posts: 7125
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2004 12:00 pm

The Snoozie Story...

Post by valerie »

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became

apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any

ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and

before I knew it, I had co nsumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed

delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!" He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and >let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!! Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests

seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



:-4



(She knows I love her!!)
Tamsen's Dogster Page

http://www.dogster.com/?27525



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guppy
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Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

The Snoozie Story...

Post by guppy »

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl can you imagine having to live that down...........:D
lady cop
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Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 1:00 pm

The Snoozie Story...

Post by lady cop »

you're just going to encourage her now Val! :rolleyes:
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rachelg
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2004 5:31 pm

The Snoozie Story...

Post by rachelg »

It's after midnight and I just woke everyone in the house up laughing:yh_rotfl Since my husband wasn't too pleased, I didn't tell him what was so funny. Why is farting so funny:confused:
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CARLA
Posts: 13033
Joined: Thu Nov 25, 2004 1:00 pm

The Snoozie Story...

Post by CARLA »

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Yike that would just about wrap it up..:o
ALOHA!!

MOTTO TO LIVE BY:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.

WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"

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Nomad
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:36 am

The Snoozie Story...

Post by Nomad »

very funny
I AM AWESOME MAN
pantsonfire321@aol.com
Posts: 2920
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:26 am

The Snoozie Story...

Post by pantsonfire321@aol.com »

SnoozeControl;472552 wrote: I really could see that happening too. :o


Me too ;)
Can go from 0 - to bitch in 3.0 seconds .:D







Smile people :yh_bigsmi







yep, this bitch bites back .;)
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