Letters To Santa

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:59 am

Dear Santa

>> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all

>> yeer yer Frend, BiLLy

>>

>> Dear Billy,

>> Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about

>> I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm

>> giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

>> Santa

>>

>>

>> Dear Santa,

>> I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is

>> peace and joy in the world for everybody!

>> Love, Sarah

>>

>> Dear Sarah,

>> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

>> Santa

>>

>>

>> Dear Santa,

>> I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my

>> mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?

>> Love, Teddy

>>

>> Dear Teddy,

>> Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a

hurricane.

>> Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,

>> who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me

>> get you some nice Lego's instead.

>> Santa

>>

>>

>> Dear Santa,

>> What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making

toys?

>> Your friend, Thomas

>>

>> Dear Thomas,

>> All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I

>> spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by

>> drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses

>> while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

>> Santa

>>

>>

>> Dear Santa,

>> Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're

>> awake, like in the song?

>> Love, Jessica

>>

>> Dear Jessica,

>> Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in

>> whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

>> Santa

>>

>>

>> Dear Santa,

>> I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE

PLEASE

>> could I have one?

>> Timmy

>>

>> Timmy,

>> That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap

doesn't

>> work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

>> Santa

>>

>>

>> Dearest Santa,

>> We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

>> Love, Marky

>>

>> Mark, first, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting

your

>> ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in

a

>> low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like

the

>> boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

>> Sweet Dreams, Santa.

>>

>>

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:03 am

Hamster;491865 wrote: No!!! It can't be so....Santa is nice!!

Wake up furball...santa is an animal !

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:04 am

Santa NICE??? Bah HUMBUG!!!!

Seriously though....Nomers can I swipe this to post in another spot?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:05 am

BabyRider;491869 wrote: Santa NICE??? Bah HUMBUG!!!!

Seriously though....Nomers can I swipe this to post in another spot?

This is why I call you cuddles :-4 You ask before you rob me.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:08 am

Nomad;491871 wrote: This is why I call you cuddles :-4 You ask before you rob me.

Don't get too worked up, that's my fake politeness. I'd have taken it anyway. It's what we do.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:09 am

BabyRider;491873 wrote: Don't get too worked up, that's my fake politeness. I'd have taken it anyway. It's what we do.

Yea I know ostrich face :p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:15 am

pompom;491877 wrote: Bed-time, Nomad...

Santa wears crotchless panties.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:17 am

Nomad;491880 wrote: Santa wears crotchless panties.
If he's doing it right, he's wearing chaps.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:53 am

pompom;491877 wrote: Bed-time, Nomad...

You know sometimes I wonder whether Nomad really is always asleep and just posts whilst having a snooze, that must be the only explanation about why he never makes much sense!! :sneaky: :p

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:08 am

I have to admit, sad as I am, that I found these hilarious :wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:49 am

I just love these happy thoughts threads. :-4

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:51 am

chrisb84uk;491893 wrote: You know sometimes I wonder whether Nomad really is always asleep and just posts whilst having a snooze, [...]
I don't think so, Chris. Nomad doesn't live very close to Snooze.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:52 am

Accountable;491923 wrote: I don't think so, Chris. Nomad doesn't live very close to Snooze.
someone is VERY quick today!!!! :yh_rotfl :yh_bigsmi

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:03 am

Accountable;491923 wrote: I don't think so, Chris. Nomad doesn't live very close to Snooze.

:wah: Hahaha I bet he would like to though, imagine the fun the two of them would have!!

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:07 am

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Got me going this morning thank Nomie..

ACC your pretty sharp this AM..

[QUOTE]I don't think so, Chris. Nomad doesn't live very close to Snooze.[/QUOTE]

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:12 pm

chrisb84uk;491962 wrote: :wah: Hahaha I bet he would like to though, imagine the fun the two of them would have!!

:wah: You betcha

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:31 pm

flopstock;492067 wrote: I want points for not posting here... that's all I'm sayin':sneaky: :wah:
:yh_giggle