With age.. comes less interest in sex

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weeder
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With age.. comes less interest in sex

Post by weeder »

Theres no denying it, with age a good many people lose interest in sex.

Heres an uplifting outlook on the reasons why. I abhored the explanations of diminished hormones, or the loss of that appeal to the opposite sex. Or the notion that we ripened citizens had become dull. The real and charming explanation is that along the way, we discovered other pleasure centers of our brains. We make this discovery while pursuing interests whose pleasurable rewards are long lasting, and create the desire to repeat the experience frequently and often. It is without accountability or compromise that one makes plans to travel... paint a picture, compose a piece of music.. plant a garden, study a new subject, spend time with a child, read, or create anything. Desire wanes as time moves faster, days are shorter, and there are just so many exciting things to see and do. Actually, there is an alluring appeal on the face of someone engrossed in something so rewarding , that they are unaware of the presence of others. A calm, as we move from a need for procreation towards self realization. What do you think about this?
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RedGlitter
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With age.. comes less interest in sex

Post by RedGlitter »

I'm not so sure about that. I am never more alive than when I'm in a new romance. All other desires pale to it then. But you said sex...maybe we're just talking about different things...? On the other hand, things are so much sharper during. Everything takes on new meaning. It's all new again even if I've been there before. I start making plans and getting back in life instead of living on the outskirts. How old is old, Weeder? I'm 40 but for all intents I may as well be 25 again. A life without a hot affair? I can't see it for me....
weeder
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With age.. comes less interest in sex

Post by weeder »

I understand what your saying. The last time I felt the way you describe, was when I was 43. It was over right before I was 50. It may be that had there been a relationship that carried me this far (55) I would feel differently.

I have a large group of women friends. All in my age group... all attractive and intelligent. Self supporting and self reliant. For us, we are so involved in all of the intersts I mentioned that the concept of giving up any of our time, is difficult for us to even imagine. I know that everyone doesnt feel this way,but there is a huge population of us who do.
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RedGlitter
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Post by RedGlitter »

I think I can appreciate that, Weeder, as when I'm single I do seem to have more irons in the fire, in the way of work and outside interests and stuff. It's far easier for me to concentrate on those things then.
weeder
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With age.. comes less interest in sex

Post by weeder »

You see, it has been our experience that partners have been needy, and sex is not worth the price of sacrificing so many things that are important to us.

Now, we are fortunate because in the years when relationships were uppermost in our minds.. we had children. They are all grown and one of the sources of our greatest pleasure. And of course, we do have our memories:wah: of having been madly in love. Its just that other things are a priority now.
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RedGlitter
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With age.. comes less interest in sex

Post by RedGlitter »

Ohhhh...well that puts a whole different perspective on it, Weeder. I see.
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

speaking as an older man , ouch but at least I admit it :rolleyes: its just finding something thats new and exciting you know after having steak for 3o years its hard to get excited about steak , after her dressing up in the nurses out fit for a year it got boring so I wore it , it worked for me :D :D WHO WANTS PICCY'S :sneaky:
RedGlitter
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Post by RedGlitter »

jimbo;577303 wrote: speaking as an older man , ouch but at least I admit it its just finding something thats new and exciting you know after having steak for 3o years its hard to get excited about steak , after her dressing up in the nurses out fit for a year it got boring so I wore it , it worked for me WHO WANTS PICCY'S :sneaky:


:wah: :-3 :wah:
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minks
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Post by minks »

well I am finding myself agreeing with Floppy on this.

Maybe it boils down to how much we have enjoyed sex in the past, if it's something merely tolerated I can see where you could loose interest, if it's something that has been enjoyed then no I don't think one would ever loose interest.
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BH672
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With age.. comes less interest in sex

Post by BH672 »

weeder;577235 wrote: What do you think about this?


I think that science has settled all this. A man's brain and a woman's brain are wired differently.

Science could be wrong, though!

:D
koan
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Post by koan »

I think it depends on the person and how big a part of their life sex has played in their sense of satisfaction. There are many websites for "Mistress Sophia" or whatever name is chosen for older women that make a living as a dominatrix so.... I believe it is just a personal issue of what you decide you want in life.
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WonderWendy3
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Post by WonderWendy3 »

BH672;577319 wrote: I think that science has settled all this. A man's brain and a woman's brain are wired differently.

Science could be wrong, though!




:thinking: :yh_rotfl :yh_tong2



I mean....That's not true...:yh_rotfl
Indian Princess
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Post by Indian Princess »

For me, lovemaking comes from the heart, and since I have only been with two men (not at the same time Jimbo)!!!!!, maybe it's different but, I am a single mom and that means not one moments time to myselft except when he is at his fathers, I have a bazillion irons in the fire, so it's not as important to me.
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Musiclover89
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Post by Musiclover89 »

I've still to lose my Virginty but back to topic i don't think as you grow Older Sex becomes less of an Intrest their are some couples who still have sex in their late 50s and early 60s but i'll need to wait and see if thats the case when i'm older
"Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, 'I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight', people would say, 'Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.' " Michael Jackson
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chonsigirl
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Post by chonsigirl »

weeder;577235 wrote: Theres no denying it, with age a good many people lose interest in sex.

Heres an uplifting outlook on the reasons why. I abhored the explanations of diminished hormones, or the loss of that appeal to the opposite sex. Or the notion that we ripened citizens had become dull. The real and charming explanation is that along the way, we discovered other pleasure centers of our brains. We make this discovery while pursuing interests whose pleasurable rewards are long lasting, and create the desire to repeat the experience frequently and often. It is without accountability or compromise that one makes plans to travel... paint a picture, compose a piece of music.. plant a garden, study a new subject, spend time with a child, read, or create anything. Desire wanes as time moves faster, days are shorter, and there are just so many exciting things to see and do. Actually, there is an alluring appeal on the face of someone engrossed in something so rewarding , that they are unaware of the presence of others. A calm, as we move from a need for procreation towards self realization. What do you think about this?


Many people do loose their interest, but I do not personally think so. I am able to do all of those creative things, and have during my lifetime. I don't think sex had alot to do with that one way or the other.

I think some people need another in an intimate way for all of their lifetime. It is sad to be alone-it is not self-realization or anything. Sometimes it is the hard knocks of life that made it that way. A partner dies, and/or they separate for one reason or another. In my case, my husband became ill and these things are not a part of his thinking processes anymore, and never will be.

Do I create more-sure do. But it is no fun to be excited about an accomplishment, and he doesn't understand. Or notoriaty, and he is not there to give me a hug or a smile-understanding what happened. Would I give up the creativity to live a normal life and have my husband on intimate terms with me? Within a heart beat....................
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

weeder;577235 wrote: Theres no denying it, with age a good many people lose interest in sex.

Heres an uplifting outlook on the reasons why. I abhored the explanations of diminished hormones, or the loss of that appeal to the opposite sex. Or the notion that we ripened citizens had become dull. The real and charming explanation is that along the way, we discovered other pleasure centers of our brains. We make this discovery while pursuing interests whose pleasurable rewards are long lasting, and create the desire to repeat the experience frequently and often. It is without accountability or compromise that one makes plans to travel... paint a picture, compose a piece of music.. plant a garden, study a new subject, spend time with a child, read, or create anything. Desire wanes as time moves faster, days are shorter, and there are just so many exciting things to see and do. Actually, there is an alluring appeal on the face of someone engrossed in something so rewarding , that they are unaware of the presence of others. A calm, as we move from a need for procreation towards self realization. What do you think about this?


At age 72, I think I can respond with authority to this one Weeder. There has certainly been no less interest in sex by either me or my 10 year younger wife. There just has not been the urgency or obsession that was there when we were younger. Neither of us is as good as we once were, but we are as good once as we ever were. Sexual intimacy is still important in our relationship. There are certainly other things that give us pleasure, but they hardly compare to the the caring and sharing of intimacy. In fact, these other things are enjoyed even more because of the intimacy that we have with one another.
koan
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Post by koan »

weeder, it sounds like you gave up God and sex on the same day.

I'd only make one big decision at a time. ;)
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WonderWendy3
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Post by WonderWendy3 »

Lon;577370 wrote: At age 72, I think I can respond with authority to this one Weeder. There has certainly been no less interest in sex by either me or my 10 year younger wife. There just has not been the urgency or obsession that was there when we were younger. Neither of us is as good as we once were, but we are as good once as we ever were. Sexual intimacy is still important in our relationship. There are certainly other things that give us pleasure, but they hardly compare to the the caring and sharing of intimacy. In fact, these other things are enjoyed even more because of the intimacy that we have with one another.


:yh_clap :yh_clap Very well written, I tend to agree...except I'm a few years younger. I don't see me losing interest....I come from a long line of "Love-ly" people...I think it's in my genes......:)
Tater Tazz
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Post by Tater Tazz »

Wow! What a subject.:D
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crazygal
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Post by crazygal »

Very high sex drive me, I think it just gets higher for me as I get older. Maybe as I haven't been getting any for the past few months. :wah:
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

sex and love are like oxygen it only really bothers you when your not getting any ,:-3 :-3
BH672
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Post by BH672 »

koan;577323 wrote: There are many websites for "Mistress Sophia"


How do you know this, Sophia, er . . . . . koan?



;)
Tater Tazz
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Post by Tater Tazz »

jimbo;577489 wrote: sex and love are like oxygen it only really bothers you when your not getting any ,:-3 :-3


well Mr. Jimbo, with my back problems I do not get it as much as I would like too. But, that is okay, hopefully, one day my back will be better. This weather does not help either. Summers coming, maybe, the pool. hahah
weeder
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Post by weeder »

koan;577376 wrote: weeder, it sounds like you gave up God and sex on the same day.

I'd only make one big decision at a time. ;)


Hahaha Its funny you say that... I kind of thought that would be thought. But, I DID give up God today. The sex things been brewing for a while.

As far as the comments regarding intimacy... I do feel that that is an imperative part of living a healthy life. However, intimacy does not fall into the same catagory as sex... to me.
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cinamin
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Post by cinamin »

I don't think men ever lose interest in sex. Ever.
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

weeder;577625 wrote: Hahaha Its funny you say that... I kind of thought that would be thought. But, I DID give up God today. The sex things been brewing for a while.

As far as the comments regarding intimacy... I do feel that that is an imperative part of living a healthy life. However, intimacy does not fall into the same catagory as sex... to me.


Does that mean Weeder, that you don't think there is such a thing as sexual intimacy?

The sex thing brewing for a while you say. I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Seriously, have you had your testosterone levels checked out? It's easily done. If you are age 55, you have had some hormonal changes take place that can effect more than just libido.
weeder
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Post by weeder »

Lon, there was a time, not too long ago when reading your post.. still active at 77 would have made me very happy. The reason is because my partner who was 44, had a very low libido and performance problems as well. This situation was frustrating and upsetting for me. I knew that what you have said is true. Happy, healthy people, with loving partners do continue to remain sexually active. I do maintain that "many" people do lose an interest

in sex as they age. I attempted to explain ( baring medical reasons) some of the reasons for this. I failed to label the group that my comments pertain to.

Casual, and/or sexual encounters, without commitment, are not situations that they would consider. As time goes by, celibate people discover creative and fufilling outlets that take the place of what once was the sexual part of their lives. The memory of that part becomes a stranger.

Having been involved in sexual relationships in the past, they realize that having this again would require taking time away from activities that have evolved into providing pleasure. They are no longer willing to do so.

Now, I didnt say all people. I said many people. I also attempted to say that

life without sexual intimacy need not be void of any intimacy at all.

I am not embarassed to explain how "I" feel. My lack of interest is not due to hormone levels. My lack of interest is due to the fact that I no longer believe that someone could love me for me. For my mind and for who I am, thus giving them the privledge to love me physically. I no longer have the patience to spend time thinking that such a person could exist. Id rather do other things. And I am one of those people who is no longer interested in compromising, or in being held accountable for who I am. By the way, I am not being hostile. I am fine with this. It is with complete humility that I tell you that the closest feeling I would call longing.... is when I encounter ( rarely) a couple who seem to have been together for a very long time, and who seem to be very happy, and very comfortable. I take pleasure in the moment, for them.... and then I just look away.
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spot
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Post by spot »

weeder;577235 wrote: Desire wanes as time moves faster, days are shorter, and there are just so many exciting things to see and do.Gandhi didn't feel this to be true. Writing of his vow of chastity (brahmacharya, in this context), he said: Even when I am [now] past 56 years, I realize how hard a thing it is. Every day I realize that it is like walking on the sword's edge, and I see every moment the necessity for eternal vigilance.

Control of the palate is the first essential in the observance of the vow. So, I now pursued my dietetic experiments not merely from the vegetarian's but also from the brahmachari's point of view. As a result, I saw that the brahmachari's food should be limited, simple, spicless and, if possible, uncooked. The brahmachari's ideal food is fresh fruit and nuts. The immunity from passion that I enjoyed when I lived on this food was unknown to me after I changed that diet. Brahmacharya needed no effort on my part in South Africa when I lived on fruits and nuts alone.
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weeder
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Post by weeder »

How interesting Spot. The information you know, and the things you share inspire interesting comparisons of thinking. For me, it is the complete opposite. The longer I live a celibate life, the easier it becomes. And using food or diet as an example... I would put the enjoyment of good food ( and the socialization of dining in good company) on the list of one of lifes pleasures that satisfy the mind, as well as the body.
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

weeder;577898 wrote: How interesting Spot. The information you know, and the things you share inspire interesting comparisons of thinking. For me, it is the complete opposite. The longer I live a celibate life, the easier it becomes. And using food or diet as an example... I would put the enjoyment of good food ( and the socialization of dining in good company) on the list of one of lifes pleasures that satisfy the mind, as well as the body.




Still, sex with love while not essential to ones "being" is a desirable aspect of living. If you were in love wouldnt lovemaking be a natural development ? Learning to live without is possible but living with sex in the right context for each of us is a part of the whole isnt it ?
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Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

i have come to realise its not that i've gone off sex with age .... its just no one wants too sleep with me anymore:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

Novelty;577941 wrote: Spice up your life, join a swingers club, or become a sugar mummy, maybe role play, buy a sex machine, watch porno's, just do something!

it's all very natural ;)




i think sue has been reading your posts allready buddy:wah: :wah:
AnnaE
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Post by AnnaE »

Oh really?

Then I better keep going while I'm young then. A LOT! :wah:
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

:rolleyes: Novelty;577953 wrote: Making videos of yourself in action seems to be a new trend, women seem to enjoy this idea the most for some reason :confused:


seems a waste of the other 58 minutes of an hour video tape if you ask me:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

Novelty;577973 wrote: :wah: i haven't thought of that :thinking: good job for foreplay or else we wouldn't bother taping it at all :rolleyes:




i was including foreplay .. i dont want to spoil her do I ;)
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

[quote=weeder;577825]

I do maintain that "many" people do lose an interest

in sex as they age.

I AGREE.







As time goes by, celibate people discover creative and fufilling outlets that take the place of what once was the sexual part of their lives.



I AGREE.
weeder
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Post by weeder »

Well, ok then... we agree:p
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Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

Pinky;578109 wrote: If anyone tried to tape me, they'd be walking very strangely for a week, due to having a video camera inserted where the sun doesn't shine. Minus the film.

I mean, I'd at least want the royalties!:wah:


ewww pinky and prince charles what soet of sick films are you guys into:( :( :D
DelicateDominatrix
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Post by DelicateDominatrix »

I definately think that age effects our sexy life alot.i think its different for each of us, but it does come to a point where we find it less important in our lives.
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

Pinky;578109 wrote: If anyone tried to tape me, they'd be walking very strangely for a week, due to having a video camera inserted where the sun doesn't shine. Minus the film.

I mean, I'd at least want the royalties!:wah:




Ive seen your "work" all over the net. You must be a very wealthy young lady !:p
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