Probably hopeless but just wondering

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:09 pm

So I'm having a complicated problem. I can't help but wonder why this attraction would be happening in the first place. Here's the deal:

Last year I moved into a new neighborhood. My neighbor operates a home business that can get quite noisy (it's a repair shop). He had an instant attraction to me and made several efforts to get to know me better, but the noise from his operation was more than I could stand and I ended up calling the police. By the way the noise from his actual business doesn't bother me, he bringsthe vehicles that he works on right in front of my house (which had been a vacant lot up until I built my house on it) and drives them around in circles all day and I can't use the phone, watch TV, work in my yard or even take a nap. This violates 3 city ordinances.

One night I saw him sitting on his porch and I went over to apologize for causing trouble right away (in my call to the police) and to ask him if he could please keep it down because the noise is very annoying. He was nice about it but firmly said that he would continue to drive his vehicles in front of my house regardless of whether it bothered me or not because he has been doing it for a number of years and I'm not going to stop him.

I need to add that I had no idea that he brought his vehicles into my residential neighborhood and tested them directly in front of my house until after I purchased the property, built the house and moved in.

Even though he was firm about not cutting back on the noise he ended up calling me and asking me out. Other than being obnoxious he seemed to have every quality (physically and otherwise) that I have ever looked for in a man. Our talking only lasted a week and ended, sort of mutually I think...we didn't argue or anything, it just sort of fazed out. After that he seemed to ride in front of my house even more often and much louder.

I contacted the city again and they asked him to stop and told him he would get tickets if he continued. He continued and accumulated 10 tickets in one day, laughing at and with the cops when they stopped him. Needless to say he showed up in traffic court with a lawyer and managed to get out of all the tickets.

I finally had to hire a lawyer myself and we recently filed suit against him, and he continues to ride daily. The problem is...for some crazy unknown reason I am still attracted to him. He has made my life miserable ever since I moved here and hasn't even made an effort to cut back on his noise or even apologize for making such a huge amount of noise...yet I am attracted to him. What is wrong with me???:-5

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:35 pm

What is wrong with me???:-5

You're human, something inside of us is often attracted to wrong person.. And something inside of us always wants something we don't have, and then if we have it it's not so bright and shiny anymore.

Just my thoughts... good luck with that

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:36 pm

I see a simple decision here.

What do you want?

Him? Or quiet?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu May 17, 2007 4:00 am

I agree with Magenta. Put this thread in a different area & I'll tell you what I think of moving into a neighborhood and trying to change long-established practices.

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Thu May 17, 2007 8:02 am

Yes that has already happened. His response to my complaint alleged that it was only filed because he had "resisted my romantic advances". Actually I resisted his (at the time) and I gave my lawyer the e-mails to prove it. We only talked through e-mail for 1 week (never on the phone) and we never went out on a date. When he finally did ask me to go out I told him I was sick. Also, I had already consulted with my lawyer and he was in the process of gathering information for our case two months before I even talked to him so I'm hoping that will help to prove that it bothered me long before I talked to him. I had also complained several times to the city before I talked to him, and like I said, we didn't "date" only "talked". I went over and talked to him that day under the advice of my lawyer because I hadn't actually asked him directly to stop at that time, only through the police. That's when he started writing to me.

As far as zoning, he is in violation of the zoning law (I'm zoned residential), also the city's noise ordinance and nuisance ordinance.

Richard Bell · Post by **Richard Bell** » Thu May 17, 2007 8:39 am

camelot;614765 wrote: So I'm having a complicated problem.

Not complicated at all.

The guy is in violation of your local noise and zoning bylaws. He cannot continue to carry on that sort of business in a residential area.

After that he seemed to ride in front of my house even more often and much louder.

The problem is...for some crazy unknown reason I am still attracted to him. He has made my life miserable ever since I moved here and hasn't even made an effort to cut back on his noise or even apologize for making such a huge amount of noise...yet I am attracted to him. What is wrong with me???:-5

Wonderful !

If you're looking for a self obsessed, selfish, vindictive, malicious , arrogant, manipulative @sshole who will take every effort to control you and use psychological and maybe physical violence to "keep you in line", then you've found him. :-4

Richard Bell · Post by **Richard Bell** » Thu May 17, 2007 9:23 am

magenta flame;615139 wrote: these have already occurred within the process of his violations , and camelot deserves to be compensated forth with

We both agree that a form of psychological violence has already occured. This guy seems to be a textbook example of an abuser, and if he follows the script (which seems likely), I would think he would be capable of physical violence towards his partner, which is why I speculated it may be a possibility if somebody started a relationship with this specimen.

Best course of action : don't be intimidated by this jerk (they feed on weakness) , and for the love of Bob, don't fall in love with this time bomb !

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu May 17, 2007 9:44 am

I agree with Magenta and Richard 100% on this one...

He's a charmer and a control freak jerk! He doesn't care about anyone but himself, how rude to ignore the law and your requests for quiet and furthermore not to run vehicles through your front yard???

I used to be the quiet little submissive lady...it gets you NO-Where....Don't give into him...there are better men out there that respect Women...he obviously doesn't!!

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Fri May 18, 2007 4:42 pm

I'm not sure what is so charming about him... but anyway.

Camelot... is it just physical attraction for you? You mentioned that he was everything you wanted in a man, physically and more. How can being an ass be a desirable trait for you? If he doesn't care about your concerns when you're not in a relationship, how could you care about them if you were? I agree with everyone else. He's a ticking time bomb.

I hope you win on this one. I'm just wondering, though. If you do win... what will his annoying little tactics escalate to? Hopefully nothing. Anyway... best of luck to you and stay away from him! I completely agree with Richard Bell.... he's a textbook case of a possible abuser.

If I were in your case, I would think about moving. No, you shouldn't have to under the circumstances, but how safe do you feel with that psycho around, even if he stopped?