The Real Mommy Surfaced

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:19 pm

If my Mother In-Law didn't hate me before, she certainly does now.

I've been with my Husband (Rich) for 20 years - married 3. MIL completely changed after we married, she had to have Rich - competed for Rich - and replaced her husband with mine..

Very needy, called 17 to 35 times a day for the past 3 1/2 yrs. From, I can't open a bottle of bleach, I can't plug this in, to calling at 6:00 A.M., she can't find her reading glasses.. I can't, I need, I want, I can't,Take me shopping, Beauty shop etc... and off Rich would go JOHNNY JUMP UP..

FIL died and she insisted on moving the following day. We packed her, moved her, by the time we left every box was unpacked, every clock, picture was hung.

All she had were some tubs of Christmas items to down size. BYE BYE...

Saturday MIL called 4 times, I knew she called, my husband didn't, I'd erase the called ID and any messages and took the phone off the hook.

Saturday night I put the phone back on - 1st thing it's MOMMY.

She got a storage unit & wants Rich over immediately to move the Christmas tubs.

Didn't happen. Sunday still didn't happen.

Monday @ 7:00 P.M., Mommy calls, wants to move back immediately, she's ordered the movers,etc..

We go to Mommy's immediately, I'm ugly sweet to her, then she says, don't worry I've arranged the move & I won't be a burden to you..!!!

What's this really about Mommy Dearest? she ignored me, so again I ask, nothing. small talk with Rich

So, I said this is really stemming from Rich not playing JOHNNY JUMP UP. She rolled her eyes. continued small talk with Rich

So, I said, your F-ing pissed off because my husband didn't run over here at your F -ing Beckon Call !! She jumped up and said YES, I'M PISSED, that's my Son !!

I said, Rich is my husband, I'm his priority, and he has responsibilities at our home under construction etc..

I said I've played this game with you for yrs - GAME OVER MOMMY

Rich's face was priceless - he was shocked - LIGHT BULB - REAL MOMMY

Rich apologized to me all the way home.

Rich said "I was played" you've been right Pats, this has been a game to her,

OMG, I thought you were exaggerating, I've never seen this side of MOMMY..

This has been mentally exhausting - I play it out in my head, I was like a Prosecutor bandgering a witness.

Couldn't of worked out any better.

She's not moving - we put a stop to all she contacted & said in the future just pacifier her, busy - back order, waiting list etc..

My husband came home from work - he took the phone off the hook.

We'll probably go over Saturday to move the Christmas Tubs & leave.

I'm anxious to see how she treats me, greets me, or ignores me..??

Anyone else have a MOTHER IN-LAW from HELL..??

Patsy

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:24 pm

I know how you feel. My in laws aren't that bad. But I do get mad when they call and ask him to help do something and he jumps up and goes. But when I ask for him to do something, I have to pester him.

But good for you to stand up to your MIL. And I'm glad your husband saw the light, and realizes how he was played. :-6

Trunk Monkey · Post by **Trunk Monkey** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:33 pm

She is scared of dying and leaving things undone. Here is a poem for you, just change the name as you wish...

Mrs Mother-In-Law

Everytime I think about visiting John

The vivid picture of his mother

Makes my stomach churn

I just can’t figure out why she hates me?

I question myself Is it because I don’t look Indian,

With a pancake belly or beauty queen face?

I look quite the opposite

But my heart is what he is attracted to! ! !

My mood changes everytime I call his hosue?

Mrs. Mother-in-Law would answer

“You are so fat and ugly¦I don’t

Know what my son is doing with you?

Shame and disgrace stroke my heart like a hammer!

Telling him was just a waste of time.

“Don’t listen to her ¦she is just miserable he comforted me.

We got closer

John encouraged me to move in¦.

Bravely I did

Mrs. Mother-In-Law was devastated

Me the outcast under her roof

The engagement ring drove her nuts

One year later¦ baby on the way

Mrs. Mother-In-Law was petrified

Her sly remarks daily... Stress me up the wall

She never knew her day would come¦

For Ms. Fat and ugly to help her!

The Creator gave me a pretty baby girl

Of which I was thankful no matter how she looked

John was on night shift

Baby crying

Me craving for some sleep

Screaming and crying

Echoed through the hall way

To my surprise Mrs. Mother-In-Law

Fell down the stairs

Broke her leg and wrist

Isn’t is ironic that Ms. Fat & Ugly

Had to nurse Mrs. Mother-In-Law

And now I am her best friend

Tesah Linton

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:39 pm

My mother and father are like this. My wife puts up with a lot. They will call me my wife and sons to move a 3lb. box from one room to the other or to hang a 3x5 picture on the wall because they just don't trust themselves to not fall. They are 68 and 70. You would think they are older than my 95 yr old grandparents who never ask a thing and get upset when you try and help by mowing lawn or some other thing.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:15 pm

I couldnt wish for a better mum in law, shes fabulous and helps us out no end, she actually helps more than my own mother as my mum and dad still work full time.

Glad you finally put your foot down and took control Pasty...well done:-6

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:26 pm

Trunk Monkey

3 1/2 years of her BS - has nothing to do with her DYING, or I could've killed her long ago.

This is all about her being a SELFISH BIT-- ..!!

SHE Goes to extremes for ATTENTION always needs attention.

While I'm unpacking 120 pairs of shoes - she's telling my husband to take her shoe shopping.

I said - I just unpacked 120 pairs of shoes wear them, because my husband is not going shoe shopping today or any other day.. rolled her eyes - no comment.

She purposely interfered - interrupted our LIFE - this was no ACCIDENT. SELFISH.

and I never let her know I was upset, ever.

GAME OVER MOMMY..

As she's telling us shes moving after 5 days in her new place - she states she has a appointment to have - Facial treatments to remove wrinkles

at 87 yrs old and $3000.00 to work on her wrinkles.!! Hello - competing for my husband or flirting with someone in the kitchen?? whatever

JIMBO

Thanks - I will have my husband read your story.

YZGI

be careful - Parents aren't invalids, Don't make them invalids.

We never let them on a ladder either - somethings can wait - consolidate chores.

Otherwise visiting your nice parents becomes stressful instead of a nice visit.

Keep your wife & Family priority

Like I said to my MIL - what were you doing at 50 ?? OH, you didn't have a 90 old dictating your life?? She actually gave me a monthly schedule to work around.

Patsy

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:26 pm

Good for you, Patsy.

Just another illustration of a turning point in our lives when we say," Enough is enough!"

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:30 pm

jimbo;824346 wrote: wow buddy they sure had you at a young age judging by your photo :wah::wah::wah::wah:
I believe the word to use here is TOSSER.:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:40 pm

:-4Patsy! good for you for declaring game over Mommy!

I can relate in 2 different ways,

1. My MIL was from Hell, she was also a Mother from hell, was a horrible and mean person, she hated me for no reason and would make fun of me. My Ex (hubby at time) spent 7 years away from her because of the way she treated me and the fact that she was a terrible person and he wanted nothing to do with her as well. We re-united with her and had three children in the 7 years that we didn't talk to her, and it took her less than 6 months to upset my ex again, and he swore not to ever lay eyes on her again, not even in her grave, but well....he did because of his sister pleading with him to be there when thier mother died in 1998. Even though I talk about the horrible things my ex did, that is one thing that I was impressed with, he did stand up to her, but it caused him so much pain, and imo it shouldn't have. Mom's are supposed to bring you joy, not pain!!

2. My grandmother (dad's mom) sounds a LOT like your MIL, she had to have all the attention from all of the men in the family, and us women were chopped liver, but who were the ones that took care of everything??? You know it! My grandmother was very selfish and it was all about her, she always treated my mom like crap and when I got older, not only did I see it for myself...I got treated like crap too! The last reunion that I went to that she was there, I walked over to her where she was sitting in a lawn chair and she hugged me and asked me which ones of my kids were who...(even though I sent pics every Christmas) and my brother (who has been a stranger to the family for the past 10 years at this point) showed up and she about knocked everyone down to get to him, and I know I sound like I'm bitter, but that is how she was with everything with the guys and girls. She treated her only daughter like crap compared to her 2 sons too. Anyway, when she died, I didn't go to the funeral and that was 2 years ago this May, Dad is still upset with me, but well, I had 3 boys that she didn't even acknowledge to care for, so I wasn't driving 6 hours to pay respect to a woman that never gave me any. Bye Bye Gram

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:20 pm

The difficult part to this MIL from hell was delicately explaining it to my husband.

He just didn't believe me about any of it. for instance

Everytime MIL sees me she says OH, hi Patsy. Whats OH disappointment?

Attention - extreme - the last straw for me and she's lucky I didn't deck her..

Friday while packing her, she comes out of her room wearing only her BRA & UNDERWEAR to talk to my husband..!!! what did I do you ask ??

I was opening a large trash bag for pillows etc. I couldn't get it open and immediately hung it in front of my husband, of course he was like what? I said

what hell, your Father hasn't seen her in a Bra in 40 years & you sure as hell aren't going to.

If I could've got that bag open I'd put it over her head.

My husband always thought I was nuts - the other night he asked, What is it about this little old lady you don't like - I said she's phony and has my husband..

The other night convinced him he had blinders on & was a fool for arguing with me and running off daily to save Mommy. And very sorry for not seeing all the BS I tolerated

All these years she never knew I knew her game - I was always 2 steps ahead of her.

Like I've said my FIL was the best part of the IN-LAW.

Patsy

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:08 pm

Patsy Warnick;824681 wrote: The difficult part to this MIL from hell was delicately explaining it to my husband.

He just didn't believe me about any of it. for instance

Everytime MIL sees me she says OH, hi Patsy. Whats OH disappointment?

Attention - extreme - the last straw for me and she's lucky I didn't deck her..

Friday while packing her, she comes out of her room wearing only her BRA & UNDERWEAR to talk to my husband..!!! what did I do you ask ??

I was opening a large trash bag for pillows etc. I couldn't get it open and immediately hung it in front of my husband, of course he was like what? I said

what hell, your Father hasn't seen her in a Bra in 40 years & you sure as hell aren't going to.

If I could've got that bag open I'd put it over her head.

My husband always thought I was nuts - the other night he asked, What is it about this little old lady you don't like - I said she's phony and has my husband..

The other night convinced him he had blinders on & was a fool for arguing with me and running off daily to save Mommy. And very sorry for not seeing all the BS I tolerated

All these years she never knew I knew her game - I was always 2 steps ahead of her.

Like I've said my FIL was the best part of the IN-LAW.

Patsy

WOW!! You are a heck of a woman to put up with all of that. :-4

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:09 pm

Good for you Patsy! Yahoo!

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:22 pm

Pasty you got her good she can't play you or your husband anymore, the gig is up she has been outed. EXCELLENT. :wah:

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:48 pm

Hey Patsy :yh_wink

Oh yes i remember the days (many moons ago) i was even accused of forcing my daugther to walk wtf ..how exactly do you force a nine month old baby to take a few steps . The old crow was just pissed because her first born grandchild (a boy and three months older than my daughter) was still dragging himself around the floor . Even when she watched with her own eyes my daughter stumble across the room (they were still steps) i must of been pulling the strings :-5. Another time when she found out her precious boy was nothing more than a bulling wife beater she got mad because i'd called the police, i was to never do that again . So i said to her, what would you prefer ..i stick a bread knife in him

.... she said no, i was to to call her :rolleyes:. The bitch has been dead for years thank god (they both have) , my new ma-in-law is ok ...she knows not to interfere.... my now other half is wonderful... so it's all good .

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:56 am

I dont have in laws now, but I have had the in laws from hell. The most common type that make you sick.. ARE the ones who wont let their sons go. Always competing for attention with the wives. Good for you that you finally stood up to her. The awful thing is that I dont think these women realize that they are putting stresses on their sons marriages, which is so distorted.

Your fortunate that your husband saw thw writing on the wall.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:02 am

I had parents from hell, but I loved my mother in law. I wish she was still alive....:-1

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 4:38 am

Life is funny aint it ? :wah:

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:37 pm

I'm sorry for what it sounds like you've had to go through, Patsy but

I guess I just have a little different take on it than the rest of you.

This woman GAVE BIRTH to the man you love. That should count for

a lot, in my book. If it were me (I have an excellent relationship

with my m-i-l) having to deal with this, I'd try harder to find a way

to connect with her.

And one of the first things I'd do is talk to her doctor. Appearing

in front of your husband in her underwear is inappropriate

behavior. She might be starting to exhibit some early signs of

dementia.

Just my thoughts.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:20 pm

HI Patsy:D wow it must have been hard for you! I was so lucky to have a wonderful MIL i loved her very much and i ALWAYS felt like i was one of her daughters a complete family member, she welcomed me in to her family and in the 26 years i knew her we never had a disagreement. This just makes me realise even more how lucky i was and what a marvelous woman she was:-4 Also picking up on something you said,,, i remember a talk my mam had with me not long before i married,, she said we are your family, your mam and dad, we are always there for you and hope you will always be there for us, but now you are getting married your first priority must always be your husband and any children you have. That and tips on how to keep house:wah::wah: