You Can't Help Who You Love

Dweedle Dee · Post by **Dweedle Dee** » Sat May 10, 2008 3:09 pm

Fascinating question and I suspect there's a bit of background that caused you to ask it.

I think you love someone based on who they are. If they're a complete pillock that makes you question yourself, then your judgement is questionable.

That, of course, does not include family.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat May 10, 2008 4:39 pm

Both are true.

You can't control who you fall for but you can control your behavior in regard to that person.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Sat May 10, 2008 5:43 pm

RedGlitter;862466 wrote: Both are true.

You can't control who you fall for but you can control your behavior in regard to that person.

Absolutely my thought!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat May 10, 2008 5:45 pm

Before Sunset;862431 wrote: Do you think that statement is true, or do you think it's something people say to justify their behavior?
Red's right. We can't control our emotions much, but we damn sure can control our behavior.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun May 11, 2008 4:39 am

Maybe it means that it's difficult to be objective towards someone you are emotionally involved with......someone you love. And to effectively help someone, you have to be objective about the problem.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun May 11, 2008 4:55 am

RedGlitter;862466 wrote: Both are true.

You can't control who you fall for but you can control your behavior in regard to that person.

You can't control who you fall for no, for some I think there is a period of time where your head may try to control your behaviour but your heart overrules.

You also start to learn your own boundaries of what you you will tolerate.

I wish I could live a 'black and white' life!! :wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sun May 11, 2008 5:35 am

i think this statement is true, i think true love hits you like a brick and you have no control over it. that's not to be confused with lust or infatuation.

but i also think that what the others have said it true too, your mind can overrule your heart and you can be in control of how you act on that love! if you are say a married person, you're mind can judge that maybe you shouldn't be thinking about someone else and you can choose not to!

Post by **jones jones** » Sun May 11, 2008 1:12 pm

Before Sunset;862431 wrote: Do you think that statement is true, or do you think it's something people say to justify their behavior?

i believe part of the problem is that many of us confuse ... "falling in love" with "loving someone" ...

there is quite a difference ... we maybe fall in love with a persons appearance ... their status ... their assets ... they have a nice car ... they are handsome/beautiful ...

when we love someone we see past these things and love the person for being who they are ... appearance ... car ... status mean nothing ... we love them for being themselves ...

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun May 11, 2008 1:24 pm

jones jones;862963 wrote: i believe part of the problem is that many of us confuse ... "falling in love" with "loving someone" ...

there is quite a difference ... we maybe fall in love with a persons appearance ... their status ... their assets ... they have a nice car ... they are handsome/beautiful ...

when we love someone we see past these things and love the person for being who they are ... appearance ... car ... status mean nothing ... we love them for being themselves ...

aahhh and here is my favourite quote 'You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly' - Sam Keen

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun May 11, 2008 7:23 pm

Betty Boop;862969 wrote: aahhh and here is my favourite quote 'You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly' - Sam Keen

Wow. I really like that, Betty Boop. Very much so.

SedonaFaerie · Post by **SedonaFaerie** » Sun May 11, 2008 8:35 pm

Before Sunset;862431 wrote: Do you think that statement is true, or do you think it's something people say to justify their behavior?

Yes, definately. I dated people that were in love with me and I just couldn't bring myself to love them. We may have been compatible in so many other ways but love just wasn't there, no matter how much I tried. Then I fell in love with someone that contradicts what I thought I wanted...c'est la vie :-4