Why Always Having to Be Right Can Poison Your Mind

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:50 am

According to Epictetus, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. By listening intently and having a sense of curiosity, you can remain open to your your fellow man while continuing to learn more about him (or her).

There is a much-quoted question that asks, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? The implication is that you cannot be focused on being right and also have happy relationships with others.

Having to be right alienates the other person. And there’s certainly truth in the advice that “If you are afraid of being lonely, don’t try to be right.

firstly you have to realize that you do not have all the right answers to everything. No one does. According to Lord David Cecil, “The first step to knowledge is to know that we are ignorant.

You are showing others your own limitations and insecurities if you demand that they admit you are right and they are wrong. “When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself,

One of the marks of intelligence is to know what you do not know and to realize that there is always more to be learned. One of the marks of emotional maturity is to be able to admit when you are wrong, don’t have all the answers, or need to apologize. It has been said that the five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, “I apologize, and “You are right.

“The most lovable quality any human being can possess is tolerance. It is the vision that enables one to see things from another’s viewpoint. It is the generosity that concedes to others the right to their own peculiarities. It is the bigness that enables us to let people be happy in their own way.

Am I right:D:D:D

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:54 am

One of the marks of intelligence is to know what you do not know and to realize that there is always more to be learned. One of the marks of emotional maturity is to be able to admit when you are wrong, don’t have all the answers, or need to apologize.

I would definitely agree with that

Post by **spot** » Wed May 28, 2008 8:24 am

Chezzie;876327 wrote: “The most lovable quality any human being can possess is tolerance. It is the vision that enables one to see things from another’s viewpoint. It is the generosity that concedes to others the right to their own peculiarities. It is the bigness that enables us to let people be happy in their own way."Bravo Chezzie. It's a wonderful quote.

Mustang · Post by **Mustang** » Wed May 28, 2008 8:43 am

Chezzie;876327 wrote: According to Epictetus, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. By listening intently and having a sense of curiosity, you can remain open to your your fellow man while continuing to learn more about him (or her).

There is a much-quoted question that asks, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? The implication is that you cannot be focused on being right and also have happy relationships with others.

Having to be right alienates the other person. And there’s certainly truth in the advice that “If you are afraid of being lonely, don’t try to be right.

firstly you have to realize that you do not have all the right answers to everything. No one does. According to Lord David Cecil, “The first step to knowledge is to know that we are ignorant.

You are showing others your own limitations and insecurities if you demand that they admit you are right and they are wrong. “When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself,

One of the marks of intelligence is to know what you do not know and to realize that there is always more to be learned. One of the marks of emotional maturity is to be able to admit when you are wrong, don’t have all the answers, or need to apologize. It has been said that the five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, “I apologize, and “You are right.

“The most lovable quality any human being can possess is tolerance. It is the vision that enables one to see things from another’s viewpoint. It is the generosity that concedes to others the right to their own peculiarities. It is the bigness that enables us to let people be happy in their own way.

Am I right:D:D:D

You are right Chezzie! Well put, Tip of the hat to you.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Wed May 28, 2008 9:55 am

Oh if only Chezzie

Forums would die if everyone paid attention to this :wah:

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed May 28, 2008 12:01 pm

buttercup;876431 wrote: Oh if only Chezzie

Forums would die if everyone paid attention to this :wah:

I don't think they'd die - hopefully we could explore our differences and all learn from it.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed May 28, 2008 12:39 pm

Nice one Chezzie, I do agree wholeheartedly with your OP, and I hope that lots of people come on this thread and read it and learn from it.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Wed May 28, 2008 12:45 pm

Very nicely put Chezzie!! :guitarist :-6

Sadly there are a lot of people that just can never admit they are wrong, and my dad is a prime example, in his eyes he is always right, or he'll find some way to twist things to make anyone to take his place as a culprit. It's a shame really because otherwise he is such a great dad!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed May 28, 2008 12:56 pm

I'm not always right... but I'm never wrong.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:15 pm

We need to have an open-mind and an open heart. Almost like a child.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:56 pm

grecianurn;876580 wrote: I might be wrong but the op seems to be claiming a "rightness" over a perceived "wrongness".

Sorry, but it all feels rather bogus.

Boo rather than hurrah, from me.

Not quite sure what you mean by your first sentence, could you explain what you are suggesting please ?

The second sentence has left me totally confused, what on earth do you mean by 'bogus' ???

grecianurn, you definitely remind me of somebody else in Forum Garden !!

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed May 28, 2008 2:57 pm

Betty Boop;876590 wrote: I'm not always right... but I'm never wrong.

Ere Betty you nicked that saying from Garfield Mrs :wah::wah::wah:

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Wed May 28, 2008 3:09 pm

Being right and insisting on being right could save your life, as in "don't light that match, there are gas fumes". Too bad if being right hurts the other persons feelings. OR, I sure wouldn't vote for that guy if I were you. OR---I think that you have had enough to drink. Being right ain't all that bad.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:08 pm

Lon, I think you know what Chezzie was meaning !!! I think she was referring to arguments. I'm sure she would agree with you over what you say in those instances you have given. But either you have misunderstood what she was driving at, or you are being deliberately obtuse ! :wah: How can anybody dispute with you over what you are quoting as examples of 'I am right' ? (in those instances).

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:33 pm

G#Gill;876781 wrote: Lon, I think you know what Chezzie was meaning !!! I think she was referring to arguments. I'm sure she would agree with you over what you say in those instances you have given. But either you have misunderstood what she was driving at, or you are being deliberately obtuse ! :wah: How can anybody dispute with you over what you are quoting as examples of 'I am right' ? (in those instances).

Sure I get it, just having a wee bit of fun.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:49 pm

Lon;876791 wrote: Sure I get it, just having a wee bit of fun.

OK Lon, fair enough :wah::wah::rolleyes::sneaky:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed May 28, 2008 8:21 pm

But I AM always right??????

watermark · Post by **watermark** » Wed May 28, 2008 8:57 pm

Chezzie I agree with all you said but it's not as simple as you put forth. Being tolerant is not something that comes naturally to most of us! Maybe you could lay down some easy to follow principles. For me I don't like to get along with people so easily. I don't find it natural to always put the other person first.

Given your stance how do people avoid giving themselves up to tolerance, maintaining their own groundedness and what they believe in in the name of tolerance and getting along with others.

It's clear we need to allow for other's ways of doing and thinking and feeling about things but does that mean we need to give up ourselves in the process?

Erin

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu May 29, 2008 1:29 am

There's a time for tolerance and a time to stand up and be counted for what you believe. It's not always easy to decide when you must make a stand. Agreeing with whatever someone else has said, or condoning it by silence, can be weakness, cowardice, and a person of integrity can't do that and retain their integrity. That doesn't mean we can't just back off sometimes..and I think we all need to realise we can be wrong about something, or at least not have the only possible viewpoint. At the same time, when it really comes to the crunch, when something is really important, I would have to hang on to what I understand to be truth, or lose all self respect.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:24 am

grecianurn;876580 wrote: I might be wrong but the op seems to be claiming a "rightness" over a perceived "wrongness".

Sorry, but it all feels rather bogus.

Boo rather than hurrah, from me.

Thanks for your comments but their is nothing bogus about me or the way I think. I always post from my heart and believe in myself. Your comments suggests I am not genuine or my intentions are not?

Your second post in the garden and its to be degrogatory...Good going.

Lon;876752 wrote: Being right and insisting on being right could save your life, as in "don't light that match, there are gas fumes". Too bad if being right hurts the other persons feelings. OR, I sure wouldn't vote for that guy if I were you. OR---I think that you have had enough to drink. Being right ain't all that bad.

You my man are an inspiration to us all. You speak alot of sense always coupled with humour and hey, lots of times your right :wah:

watermark;876862 wrote: Chezzie I agree with all you said but it's not as simple as you put forth. Being tolerant is not something that comes naturally to most of us! Maybe you could lay down some easy to follow principles. For me I don't like to get along with people so easily. I don't find it natural to always put the other person first.

Given your stance how do people avoid giving themselves up to tolerance, maintaining their own groundedness and what they believe in in the name of tolerance and getting along with others.

It's clear we need to allow for other's ways of doing and thinking and feeling about things but does that mean we need to give up ourselves in the process?

Erin

Thanks for your great reply Erin, Im not expecting you all to agree with me, thats the whole point, we all have our opinions and Im just pointing out that ALWAYS having to be right and not seeing anyone elses point of view can be poisoness for your mind and those around you. If I know for a fact 100% that I am right, I too will stand my ground, however its how you stand your ground and the manner in which you argue your corner that I have a problem with. Once you start to get personal or racist or just plain rude and ignorant, you lose credibility and It wouldnt matter to me after if you were right as the way you had conducted yourself was poisonous to my mind.

I like to give a point of view but I am finding it increasingly harder and harder here in the garden as it always seems to turn nasty. I dont understand why some people cant agree to disagree. I know we cant all like each other but we can tolerate one anothers views surely.

Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself.

Maybe im one of lifes back burners, I readily apologise if I am in the wrong and on numerous occasions I have backed down even though I knew I was right as I could see the other person about to blow steam out of their ears, if their big enough, they come and apologise once they get their facts right, if they dont I realise their worth. I dont like arguements and I dont like confrontation and although im not so stupid that I dont realise we need to be challenged and debate is good as sometimes you learn somethings that may even sway your mind, its just the manner in which it's done that bugs the hell out of.

Nobody is perfect but manners cost nothing.

Am i right:sneaky::D:D

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:41 am

Chezzie;876927 wrote: Thanks for your comments but their is nothing bogus about me or the way I think. I always post from my heart and believe in myself. Your comments suggests I am not genuine or my intentions are not?

Your second post in the garden and its to be degrogatory...Good going.

You my man are an inspiration to us all. You speak alot of sense always coupled with humour and hey, lots of times your right

Thanks for your great reply Erin, Im not expecting you all to agree with me, thats the whole point, we all have our opinions and Im just pointing out that ALWAYS having to be right and not seeing anyone elses point of view can be poisoness for your mind and those around you. If I know for a fact 100% that I am right, I too will stand my ground, however its how you stand your ground and the manner in which you argue your corner that I have a problem with. Once you start to get personal or racist or just plain rude and ignorant, you lose credibility and It wouldnt matter to me after if you were right as the way you had conducted yourself was poisonous to my mind.

I like to give a point of view but I am finding it increasingly harder and harder here in the garden as it always seems to turn nasty. I dont understand why some people cant agree to disagree. I know we cant all like each other but we can tolerate one anothers views surely.

Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself.

Maybe im one of lifes back burners, I readily apologise if I am in the wrong and on numerous occasions I have backed down even though I knew I was right as I could see the other person about to blow steam out of their ears, if their big enough, they come and apologise once they get their facts right, if they dont I realise their worth. I dont like arguements and I dont like confrontation and although im not so stupid that I dont realise we need to be challenged and debate is good as sometimes you learn somethings that may even sway your mind, its just the manner in which it's done that bugs the hell out of.

Nobody is perfect but manners cost nothing.

Am i right:sneaky::D:D

You are totally right!!!!:yh_clap:yh_clap:yh_clap

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu May 29, 2008 3:45 am

G#Gill;876748 wrote: Ere Betty you nicked that saying from Garfield Mrs :wah::wah::wah:

Did I?? Someone I used to know always said that line and it used to make me chuckle. I just assumed it was a 'northern' saying. :wah::wah:

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu May 29, 2008 10:06 am

jimbo;877240 wrote: great going chezzer , i think i'm right in saying everyone that does not agree is wrong about this post being able to admit that you dont have to always be right

:D

Hey Jimbo, didn't know you were back, good to see you though buddy!

:-6