Weddings.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 1:49 pm

No big wedding and only close family members. By the time we got married, we already had 2 kids and one on the way which stunk for me cuz I was pg when we got married:mad: I'd love to renew my vows on the beach someday. Well, we had the wedding and we all went out for dinner and the whole thing cost about $1,000

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:54 pm

Things have changed a lot these days. In the past, the woman was expected to be nothing more than a housewife and childbearer. A marriage meant she would (or should) be taken care of in return for undertaking these roles. A dowry from either the bride or her parents would go towards the costs of setting up home.

Nowadays, the bride is likely to be more independent and maybe doesn't want to have children. I think it's up to the parents if they want to contribute. But the cost of a wedding now is phenemonal.

Personally, I don't follow those religions that advocate a need for marriage. The only reason I would get married would be for tax purposes.

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:07 pm

These may be of interest to some of you. Taken from a book that belonged to my grandmother. There is no publication date in the book itself, but I have had it dated by a local bookseller to be early 20th century. It's an amazing source of information.

You will need to click on the first image and then zoom in to read the text.

Attached files

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:10 pm

Barman;1015510 wrote: Do you think it is still right for the brides parents to fork out for the wedding or has things moved on a little?

I know a couple who spent more than £50,000 on their wedding, i was totally gobsmacked. Mine cost less than £100, seriously. I don't believe in lining the pockets of anybody if i can help it, I'm a tight git also.

My daughter is getting married next year, her future husband and her want nothing from anyone. They are having a big wedding and paying for the lot themselves, i don't think they want anyone poking their nose in and meddling on their big day. Both have highly paid jobs and they have been living together for 7 years.

We will pay for a part of the honeymoon, they are off to Canada for 4 weeks, i think the wife has sorted something out with them, i don't get involved.

Did you lot have an expensive wedding or do you think it is all a load of old tosh?

Our Daughters wedding cost us the price of the dress.

Our son's wedding cost the price of the drink bill.

With both the kids they had been living with their partners prior to marriage & decided they should pay for the bulk of the weddings.

Pretty cheap considering what they had at their respective weddings.:-6

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:02 pm

its only fair if the bill is split by both families.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:50 pm

If the brides parents are wealthy, sure. but in these hard times. i think BIG $$$$ weddings will be rarer. But these days If you insist on having a big affair. It is only fair to all concerned to chip in. Marriage is NOT a dream world. If you plan on living on a conservative budget. Then the wedding can be done tastefully the same way.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:37 pm

I think if the bride and groom are say, just out of high school, then it's okay for the parents of both parties to pay for the wedding or at least help, but if the bride and groom are established adults, then I think they should pay for their own affair. Honeymoon included.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:44 pm

My Ex outlaws :wah: wanted to throw us a big SHINDIG. But one catch. they wanted half of everything we received at the shower and wedding. Believe it or NOT:mad::-5

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:12 pm

southern yankee;1015666 wrote: My Ex outlaws :wah: wanted to throw us a big SHINDIG. But one catch. they wanted half of everything we received at the shower and wedding. Believe it or NOT:mad::-5

And you did run for your life right?:wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:43 pm

qsducks;1015672 wrote: And you did run for your life right?:wah: no we eloped. i had my wonderful daughter then divorced his dirtbag butt

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:44 pm

southern yankee;1015697 wrote: no we eloped. i had my wonderful daughter then divorced his dirtbag butt

At least you got a great daughter out of the deal:wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:48 pm

:)qsducks;1015698 wrote: At least you got a great daughter out of the deal:wah: yes she makes me proud:)

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:53 pm

And I suspect your daughter is a very smart young woman.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:55 pm

qsducks;1015706 wrote: And I suspect your daughter is a very smart young woman.well she didn't marry a fool like her mother did:wah: YET

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:01 pm

southern yankee;1015711 wrote: well she didn't marry a fool like her mother did:wah: YET

Hopefully she learned a lesson from you. Having inlaws that stink must be horrible. Mine were actually great and I do miss them.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:03 pm

qsducks;1015714 wrote: Hopefully she learned a lesson from you. Having inlaws that stink must be horrible. Mine were actually great and I do miss them. my mother in laws nick name was Dragon Lady.:wah: His father was a VERY CRULE man.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:05 pm

southern yankee;1015718 wrote: my mother in laws nick name was Dragon Lady.:wah: His father was a VERY CRULE man.

Does your daughter have any contact with them? I would hope not as they would bash you in front of her. Not cool.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:11 pm

qsducks;1015721 wrote: Does your daughter have any contact with them? I would hope not as they would bash you in front of her. Not cool. they have been divorced for years. She thinks her grandpa is creepy. her grandma i guess she loves her. we just did not get along. we were like oil and water:mad::-5

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:15 pm

southern yankee;1015729 wrote: they have been divorced your years. She thinks her grandpa is creepy. her grandma i guess she loves her. we just did not get along. we were like oil and water:mad::-5

I'm sure your daughter didn't here that grandpa was creepy, probs figured it out by herself. As for grandma, IDK, hey she is gonna love her but that is not your problem.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:18 pm

qsducks;1015731 wrote: I'm sure your daughter didn't here that grandpa was creepy, probs figured it out by herself. As for grandma, IDK, hey she is gonna love her but that is not your problem. that's right. i haven't dealt with those 2 for 24 years. It is my daughter's business not mine.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:21 pm

southern yankee;1015735 wrote: that's right. i haven't dealt with those 2 for 24 years. It is my daughter's business not mine.

And you know in the end it will work out. And you can have a private laugh.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:24 pm

qsducks;1015742 wrote: And you know in the end it will work out. And you can have a private laugh. yes. she learned on her own what a dirtbag her father is. Not by anything i told her either. not a joking matter to her. i never bring up the subject.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:25 pm

southern yankee;1015746 wrote: yes. she learned on her own what a dirtbag her father is. Not by anything i told her either.

I hope he didn't go out into the world and make more kids, jeez. Sounds like a selfish, greedy basterd.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:28 pm

qsducks;1015748 wrote: I hope he didn't go out into the world and make more kids, jeez. Sounds like a selfish, greedy basterd. he unfortunately did. The son is always in trouble with the law. his sister lives with her mother. they are divorced. she has nothing to do with the boy.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:30 pm

Hey, at least you moved on and married a wonderful man and are now happy. That has to count for a ton of things.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:33 pm

qsducks;1015753 wrote: Hey, at least you moved on and married a wonderful man and are now happy. That has to count for a ton of things. yep, he took a few years to break in. but it was worth all the trouble:wah: well dear i gotta run. The old man went back off shore finally today. so i will hitting the garage sales with my Shopping pal.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:36 pm

Look on the bright side. Now all you have to contend with is your insane kitten:wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:40 pm

qsducks;1015762 wrote: Look on the bright side. Now all you have to contend with is your insane kitten:wah: if you knew my other four legged kids. you would think we were the Addams Family:wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:41 pm

southern yankee;1015766 wrote: if you knew my other four legged kids. you would think we were the Addams Family:wah:

Do you feed them dark chocolate M&M's?:wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:46 pm

qsducks;1015768 wrote: Do you feed them dark chocolate M&M's?:wah: nope but there is not much the dogs and Kitten won't eat. My beagle loves Salad with ranch dressing:wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:56 pm

southern yankee;1015772 wrote: nope but there is not much the dogs and Kitten won't eat. My beagle loves Salad with ranch dressing:wah:

Ok, I guess we won't be stopping at your house for Halloween:wah: Your pets might tackle my kid and eat his candy. Wait a min., they can't have the Goldenberg Peanut Chews (those are my fave):wah:

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 11:36 pm

:wah:@southern yankee

My father payed for our wedding..... that was almost twenty years ago now.... it was his choice, he wanted to do it, he didn't interfere with what we wanted for the wedding though, it was our choice, he just wanted to provide what we wanted for us....

I think at the end of the day, it should first come down to the peeps getting married, I feel it's their resposibility to fund their own wedding.... however if others would like to contribute and the newly weds are happy for them to do so.... I don't see the harm in that... if it makes someone happy to give and it makes you happy to have some of that financial strain taken away from you.... then it's all good isn't it...

I feel it's wrong to 'expect' anyone to fund your wedding though.....

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:28 am

Small wedding in a 100 yr old church on a lake, dinner, nice hotel then flew out to the mountains the next morning.

I wanted to get married on jet skis.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:48 am

The price of weddings today are way too expensive. It's ridiculous. You could buy a house here for the price of some weddings.

I couldn't even begin to tell you how much my niece's wedding cost, and her parents paid for it

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:14 am

My hubs neice got married and it must have cost a fortune as BIL took out a loan for it. It had to be the best of the best and believe me it was a beautiful wedding, but still I wouldn't do it that way for my own daughter.

This wedding was at one of the most expensive country clubs in the county, had buffet appetizer stations galore, filet mignon & lobster tail for the main course, dessert stations, etc. And then neice got pregnant and they had the baby shower at the same place. Doing a shower at mom's house just wouldn't do. When the baby was born and they had to have her baptized, SIL wanted to do another gig at the country club. Thank gawd, my BIL put his foot down and said "no way"!:wah:

TheNewDG · Post by **TheNewDG** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:36 am

WE paid for our own wedding and honeymoon. Total was about 22,000. That included everything down to the attendant gifts, bar tab, food, honey moon and flowers. WE worked hard for it and it was perfect. Only 50 or so people.

The best part...I did what I wanted and didnt have to answer to anyone else!

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:05 am

We paid for the majority of our wedding, my parents and my mother-in-law gave us a contribution but we both worked and wanted to do it ourselves. Fairly small do but a wonderful day and most importantly we didn't start married life in debt.

Just been to a wedding today, all done on a very tight budget, the bride's dress she bought on ebay for a bargain price, I did the flowers as a present, the guests bought their own meal, this evening they're having a party and providing a buffet, a simple but very nice day!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:07 am

Imladris;1016266 wrote: We paid for the majority of our wedding, my parents and my mother-in-law gave us a contribution but we both worked and wanted to do it ourselves. Fairly small do but a wonderful day and most importantly we didn't start married life in debt.

Just been to a wedding today, all done on a very tight budget, the bride's dress she bought on ebay for a bargain price, I did the flowers as a present, the guests bought their own meal, this evening they're having a party and providing a buffet, a simple but very nice day!

Sounds lovely Immy. Are you going back to the party?

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:36 am

qsducks;1016275 wrote: Sounds lovely Immy. Are you going back to the party?

We went for a while, left daughter at home so didn't stay long. I love weddings, nice to share such a special day.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:15 am

we paid for our own wedding.

our kids can pay for their own as well. I think you appreciate things more when you do them yourself. We can help them out in other ways.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:19 am

Totally agree with you there Sunny. My SIL totally spoils the crap out of her kids. My kids just laugh some of it off but are bothered by it too. We got them the Wii last Christmas while their cousins were getting the X-box, PS3, PSP and loads of games.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:03 am

If my youngest stays with her boyfriend she's been with for 2 yrs. then we'll let his family pay for it, they are loaded, and we're on disability. Me and hubby did the court house...we just wanted to be married, it didn't matter how. :-4

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:06 am

shelbell;1018961 wrote: If my youngest stays with her boyfriend she's been with for 2 yrs. then we'll let his family pay for it, they are loaded, and we're on disability. Me and hubby did the court house...we just wanted to be married, it didn't matter how. :-4

Been married 13 yrs, but together for 23 this January.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:12 am

qsducks;1018966 wrote: Been married 13 yrs, but together for 23 this January.

Wow! 10yrs together before getting married? How'd you let him get by with that for so long?? :wah::wah: Me and hubby will hit our 17th anniversary Dec.5th and we've been together for about 18. We married within a year of meeting(only by 9 days tho).

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:14 am

shelbell;1018985 wrote: Wow! 10yrs together before getting married? How'd you let him get by with that for so long?? :wah::wah: Me and hubby will hit our 17th anniversary Dec.5th and we've been together for about 18. We married within a year of meeting(only by 9 days tho).

We already had 2 daughters together and I was pg with #3 when his mom (a devout Catholic) finally put her foot down. Plus, I didn't have health insurance, soooooooo......we tied the knot on 7/1. Warning to people who have family with birthdays around that holiday. Pick a different date.:wah:

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:21 am

qsducks;1018993 wrote: We already had 2 daughters together and I was pg with #3 when his mom (a devout Catholic) finally put her foot down. Plus, I didn't have health insurance, soooooooo......we tied the knot on 7/1. Warning to people who have family with birthdays around that holiday. Pick a different date.:wah:

That would be a great anniversary...every year you still have fireworks! :wah::wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:30 am

shelbell;1018985 wrote: Wow! 10yrs together before getting married? How'd you let him get by with that for so long?? :wah::wah: Me and hubby will hit our 17th anniversary Dec.5th and we've been together for about 18. We married within a year of meeting(only by 9 days tho). 6 before marriage, 7 after. I wanted insurance:wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:31 am

shelbell;1019019 wrote: That would be a great anniversary...every year you still have fireworks! :wah::wah:

Blushing here:wah:. We have 4 birthdays and the 4th of July. Umm, will have to use those gift certs soon.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:35 am

southern yankee;1019044 wrote: 6 before marriage, 7 after. I wanted insurance:wah:

What a romantic reason to get married! :wah::wah: