Origins of the Interweb

[Chookie]

Chapter 1

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And so it began.

Chapter 2

And lo across the land there was a great wailing and a gnashing of teeth as the Useless Scions of Error Raising Samaritans (USERS) residing in the tents of the great tribes called Opera, Thunderbird and the thrice damnéd Outlook, and all the lesser tribes called GMail, Yahoo, AOHell and Hotmail were buried under mountains of Sick Prurient Amoral Messages (SPAM) offering all manner of sinful things to trap the unwary. In these days were offered miracle cures for male inadequacies, and wonder drugs for the weak of will to lose their excess poundage, and cheap softwares.

And many were the virus attacks, and the worms did eat the hard drives of the incompetent, and the trojans did also. And the chainmails were a plague upon the land so that the Information Highway was clogged with their drivel. And the spywares did watch all and record all, and adwares slowed their processors and corrupted their softwares. And all across the web were purveyors of filth and fairytales to lure the sick and the gullible.

And the cry went out "this damnéd thing's crashed again, it'll only be good as a doorstop now!"

And Lucifer "Bill" Gates watched and laughed with glee at the grief he had wrought.

[along-for-the-ride]

:wah: Very clever, Chookie.

Do tell us of the ever-increasing multitude of the domains..............and who begat who.