Times of Trouble

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:22 am

Please note that I include myself in everything I'm saying here.

I've noticed that many people who have posted here for years and whose opinions I respect and read with interest are snarling and fighting in ways they just weren't a year or so ago. Tempers generally appear to be shorter and consideration for the feelings of the other person at something of a low. There seem to be many more catty comments and much more snappiness.

Why?

My guess is that we are all worried, if not outright scared, at present. Heaven knows there's plenty to be scared about, what with the financial crisis, climate change and increasing religious extremism. This means that an issue that would have had us making a wry comment a year or two ago has us entering combat, all guns blazing, now.

It's only a guess.

But I am making a general plea for everyone to look a little more carefully at our posts before we publish them, just to make sure that we aren't letting our own fears and concerns affect our relationships on these boards. This is a good place. Please don't let fear make it a bad one.

Any thoughts?

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:28 am

If i have something to say on an issue i try to do it in a civil manner. I think a persons character just colours their posts sometimes,,, we are all different and deal with things in our own ways,, thats all ,,, humans:rolleyes::D:-4

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:34 am

$#%^%%^^**^%%$#$%^&

:yh_tongue

just kidding!

:wah: We've gone through cranky times here before but we're like a family, we still like/love each other regardless. :-6

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:36 am

Kaz: Yes, but tempers in general seem shorter now. There seem to be far more snide little inserts in posts that are certain to offend (and I can't give examples because to do so would name names, which I don't want to do) and I'm not at all sure that people intend them - because they guarantee that the issue is lost in a clash of personalities.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:42 am

I think we need to get back to having fun here. like some have said we are like a big family here and i think maybe we are just going through a phase and like any family i hope we can pull together and get back to being a happy garden! :-6 :-4 :guitarist

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:44 am

Jester: Cheers!:)

A pint of finest ale for the man in the stetson! (I've always imagined you in a stetson for some reason. Do you wear one?) Next time you are in Kingston, I'll buy you it.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:48 am

Sunny, Hope: Being a family doesn't guarantee we'll stay together. Some families explode and end.

Mind you, I don't want to overstate this, but it does seem to be a trend and hopefully drawing attention to it will help to sort the problem before it becomes more serious. Don't think I'm the only one who has noticed it.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:49 am

Jester;1152249 wrote:

And yeah I got about 2 or three different style cowboy hats I wear every day.

at the same time?? :p

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:54 am

Jester;1152249 wrote: A stetson or pint of Ale? I have my eye on this one aussie hat right now...:yh_rotfl

And yeah I got about 2 or three different style cowboy hats I wear every day.

Jester for some reason i've always imagined you in a cowboy hat too!

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:57 am

Clodhopper;1152251 wrote: Sunny, Hope: Being a family doesn't guarantee we'll stay together. Some families explode and end.

Mind you, I don't want to overstate this, but it does seem to be a trend and hopefully drawing attention to it will help to sort the problem before it becomes more serious. Don't think I'm the only one who has noticed it.

you're exactly right my friend, being a family doesn't guarantee anything, but lets hope we can nip it in the bud!

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:58 am

Jester: Yes, some of those Aussie hats are rather nifty. I think Akubra is the famous brand.

I have a cotton wide brimmed number for walking - the great advantage is that you can just stuff it in the top of a rucksack when not in use and it doesn't matter that it gets squashed - though I look as though I'm walking around with a pancake on my head when I wear it at present - time for a new one, methinks...:wah:

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:02 am

Clodhopper;1152241 wrote: Kaz: Yes, but tempers in general seem shorter now. There seem to be far more snide little inserts in posts that are certain to offend (and I can't give examples because to do so would name names, which I don't want to do) and I'm not at all sure that people intend them - because they guarantee that the issue is lost in a clash of personalities.

I agree Cloddy:D i think what i meant was the character of a person may make them a bit more tetchy in times of trouble,, or on a certain issue,,,where one person will get heated, or even upset,, another person can stay calm and civil:) yes i get irritated sometimes by certain posts,,, sometimes i reply to that post,, other times i acknowledge i would be better off keeping my gob shut

yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:05 am

Clodhopper;1152241 wrote: Kaz: Yes, but tempers in general seem shorter now. There seem to be far more snide little inserts in posts that are certain to offend (and I can't give examples because to do so would name names, which I don't want to do) and I'm not at all sure that people intend them - because they guarantee that the issue is lost in a clash of personalities.

if people are going to dish it out........they are going to get it back.

opinions are not always welcomed by everyone, we are all different.......everyone should try and understand this.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:47 am

Clodhopper;1152226 wrote:

My guess is that we are all worried, if not outright scared, at present. Heaven knows there's plenty to be scared about, what with the financial crisis, climate change and increasing religious extremism. This means that an issue that would have had us making a wry comment a year or two ago has us entering combat, all guns blazing, now.

It's only a guess.

Any thoughts?

For me its all about the power.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:27 am

I think you've got a point. It could well be the general feeling that we've all got at the moment.

I'm stressed up to the eyeballs at the moment, ready to snap and either go for someone's jugular or burst into tears. Not because I'm worried about money, I've just got so many things to think about, organise, do, worry about, dread etc etc, my brain is in overload and I just can't worry about money too!

Trouble is when I get stressed I get ill, can feel it all starting now and it really is the last thing I need now. So I come here when I've got a few minutes to chill out, read something silly, reply whilst being flippant and forget real life for a while. That's becoming harder at the moment, this place is going through one of it's down periods, I've seen it before and I know it'll get better but it does mean that FG is not the first thing I think of when I'm trying to chill out just now.

I'm not looking for sympathy nor is this a pity party, I'll deal with my problems and in a few weeks it should all be sorted out (hopefully), it's just me explaining that I agree with the possible cause, telling how it's affecting me and agreeing that the cure seems to be a sensible one too.

Now, has everyone seeing the nucleur doorbell that I might buy??

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:45 am

Hope6;1152245 wrote: I think we need to get back to having fun here. like some have said we are like a big family here and i think maybe we are just going through a phase and like any family i hope we can pull together and get back to being a happy garden! :-6 :-4 :guitarist

I think imo things will get better over time...we just need to hang in.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:56 am

Imladris;1152367 wrote: I think you've got a point. It could well be the general feeling that we've all got at the moment.

I'm stressed up to the eyeballs at the moment, ready to snap and either go for someone's jugular or burst into tears. Not because I'm worried about money, I've just got so many things to think about, organise, do, worry about, dread etc etc, my brain is in overload and I just can't worry about money too!

Trouble is when I get stressed I get ill, can feel it all starting now and it really is the last thing I need now. So I come here when I've got a few minutes to chill out, read something silly, reply whilst being flippant and forget real life for a while. That's becoming harder at the moment, this place is going through one of it's down periods, I've seen it before and I know it'll get better but it does mean that FG is not the first thing I think of when I'm trying to chill out just now.

I'm not looking for sympathy nor is this a pity party, I'll deal with my problems and in a few weeks it should all be sorted out (hopefully), it's just me explaining that I agree with the possible cause, telling how it's affecting me and agreeing that the cure seems to be a sensible one too.

Now, has everyone seeing the nucleur doorbell that I might buy??

Whew, I mis read that for just a second Immy.:yh_rotfl

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:03 pm

Kathy Ellen posted a similar thread last week. So this is indeed a situation that touches all of us.

Sometimes, it is a matter of just reacting to a post, rather than thinking about it for a moment before posting a reply.

We have to remind ourselves that, although we are friends, we come from different backgrounds, different cultures. If we can respect that and appreciate that, we should have less misunderstandings.

For whatever reason we come here to the ForumGarden, even as Nomad stated "to feel the power" :wah:, let's just relax and enjoy each other's company.

I come here to spend time with you. To talk, to learn, to share joy as well as sorrow. If I disagree with you, I will tell you, but I will not attack you.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:24 pm

Thank you Along.......I did post a thread about having more fun in FG..........

AND THEN....what did I do this morning......HUNNNNNNN......????????I was cranky with another member and posted a cranky post....

Now I wish I didn't, but it's too late....words can never be taken back.

Thank you Clod:-4 You've made me rethink my posts.

We're like siblings in FG:-4. We keep so many hurts within our hearts until it explodes. Then the crankiness shows.....

I think that we're all tired and stressed out with life's curve balls. We need some sun, fun and adventures.

I remember Koan saying, years ago, that she'd like to take a big van, and just come and pick up all the FG members and go on an adventure.

Geeze, I thought that was great:driving:. I would love for someone to come pick me up in a big van and take me away for parts unknown;):D

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 8:38 pm

Jester;1152249 wrote: A stetson or pint of Ale? I have my eye on this one aussie hat right now...:yh_rotfl

And yeah I got about 2 or three different style cowboy hats I wear every day.

Have a look here:-6

Akubra Hats - Hats, Country

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 8:42 pm

Clodhopper;1152226 wrote: Please note that I include myself in everything I'm saying here.

I've noticed that many people who have posted here for years and whose opinions I respect and read with interest are snarling and fighting in ways they just weren't a year or so ago. Tempers generally appear to be shorter and consideration for the feelings of the other person at something of a low. There seem to be many more catty comments and much more snappiness.

Why?

My guess is that we are all worried, if not outright scared, at present. Heaven knows there's plenty to be scared about, what with the financial crisis, climate change and increasing religious extremism. This means that an issue that would have had us making a wry comment a year or two ago has us entering combat, all guns blazing, now.

It's only a guess.

But I am making a general plea for everyone to look a little more carefully at our posts before we publish them, just to make sure that we aren't letting our own fears and concerns affect our relationships on these boards. This is a good place. Please don't let fear make it a bad one.

Any thoughts?

I used to rush in & post whatever I thought was right.

I often had "foot in mouth disease" as well.

Now I don't post very much & when I do I am very careful how I word things.

I don't intentionally go out of my way to hurt people,but sometimes it happens:-5

What I think is correct may offend others who aren't used to our Aussie ways,sayings,humor etc

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:38 pm

Jester;1152797 wrote: nice selection- I found a akubra- gus hat with back dent, I ordered it! $185- ouch, but they also last a lifetime!

Thanks for the source MrsK.

Nice hats !

185 clams for a good friend is a steal.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:40 am

:(

:wah:

:driving:

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:27 am

Well, it's quite clear, I think: In times of trouble - buy a new hat.:wah:

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:00 am

Clodhopper;1152241 wrote: Kaz: Yes, but tempers in general seem shorter now. There seem to be far more snide little inserts in posts that are certain to offend (and I can't give examples because to do so would name names, which I don't want to do) and I'm not at all sure that people intend them - because they guarantee that the issue is lost in a clash of personalities.

Hiya clodhopper. Your tag says you joined in Feb 2008. If thats the case and you've never been here previously using another name, then you won't know that this temperament issue goes in circles. It's all happened before, quite a few times. I think people find FG and discover lovely people who have a lot in common with themselves. Because they love it here so much they become immersed in it. Because it's the internet and it can't come back to bite you, you can tell people truths about yourself that you wouldn't tell a best friend or close relative. People open their hearts to each other. But then, you also get people who will tread on your heart. They'll take you at your lowest moments and call you a drama queen. They'll toss aside your feelings. Maybe they've misunderstood something you said, or vice versa. Sometimes we seem to speak a different language even though it's supposed to be the same one. Little things hurt you and those hurts grow. And suddenly we find ourselves in a war we never wanted.

The internet is good in that it lets us become so close and it's bad because we can be cruel, intentionally or not. We all have user names. We don't truly 'know' each other. It seems to me that when people do get too involved and become too open, that is the time they get hurt. I've seen it happen many times. Pinky, for example. She was so lovely and bubbly and open and nice to everyone. But her home life was tough and she told people on here how she felt. I believe some people sent her nasty PMs and she was so hurt, having laid bare her heart, that she couldn't stay here any more. She had to distance herself from us. It was such a shame as she was a lovely person. A lot of people have also felt they had to leave when their feelings were trampled on as well. We've lost many lovely people. It's such a shame.

Sometimes they come back, which is fantastic. But I think its also part of life. When you're young your life is an open book. But when life knocks you you build up a hard shell to protect yourself and your feelings.

There are a lot of very close people in FG at the moment which is nice. But people can't always be nice. We all have good and bad days and maybe something got said on a bad day which got taken the wrong way and blown up out of proportion. Even close friends can rub each other up the wrong way.

Stick around cloddy, you'll see it happen again next year and the year after that and..................

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:04 am

See now, if I'd read the thread before posting I coulda saved myself the time! :-5

Looks like everyone's said the same thing already! Duh!

:rolleyes:

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:05 am

Rapunzel;1152878 wrote: See now, if I'd read the thread before posting I coulda saved myself the time! :-5

Looks like everyone's said the same thing already! Duh!

:rolleyes:

:yh_rotfl no it was a good post

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:19 am

Hiya Rapunzel.

I was away for about a year, but I've only ever been here as Clodhopper. I do get what you are saying. Old pinkchick is still around and I've been in contact with her recently. You are absolutely right - she's a sweetie.

I'm not going anywhere and I'm not as young as I was (!) and life has given me my share of knocks. I posted this thread because I've seen this sort of thing before (on another board) and knowing how it can grow into something unpleasant wanted to draw people's attention to it, believing that awareness of the problem might well help to sort it.

I can look after myself. If anyone sends me nasty pms that's their problem. I've been pretty open at times here, and so far no-one's tried it.

I think you make an excellent point about the intimacy of the forum, but at the same time we only know the personae people choose to present through their writing. I've met a few people who post here, briefly, at the Meet in London, but I wouldn't say I really know anyone - we are close but at the same time, strangers. It's odd, but I like it!

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:20 am

Ahhhhhhh Rapunzel....You made me cry with your post. I arrived in FG during our March, 2006 brawl when some members up and left. I still miss them so much. But life must go on.

I also miss Pinky and love to see her popping in at times to say hello:-4 Wish she would come back and give it another shot.

Thank you Rapunzel...you have a beautiful way with words:-6

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:22 am

Hi Clod:-6

I was away for about a year, but I've only ever been here as Clodhopper. I do get what you are saying. Old pinkchick is still around and I've been in contact with her recently. You are absolutely right - she's a sweetie....posted by Clodhopper....

Hi Clod,

We love our Pinkchick,, but Rapunzel was talking about another member named Pinky:-4

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:28 am

Kathy: Ah. Didn't realise. Thankyou.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:31 am

Well, I'm putting on my mermaid hat:-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:45 am

I arrived in 2005, believe me Clodhopper this forum is now quiet, tame and friendly, far more so than it has ever been in past years, in fact its almost fluffy.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:48 am

If I were a fishie I'd swim in the sea

A-swooping through the seaweed hap-i-lee

Swimming underwater like a walk in the park

Clodfish with his harpoon, a-hunting of the Snark.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:51 am

Clodhopper;1152895 wrote: If I were a fishie I'd swim in the sea

A-swooping through the seaweed hap-i-lee

Swimming underwater like a walk in the park

Clodfish with his harpoon, a-hunting of the Snark.

:)

oy vey....I'm a runnin now....

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:53 am

Kathy Ellen;1152599 wrote: Thank you Along.......I did post a thread about having more fun in FG..........

AND THEN....what did I do this morning......HUNNNNNNN......????????I was cranky with another member and posted a cranky post....

Now I wish I didn't, but it's too late....words can never be taken back.

Thank you Clod:-4 You've made me rethink my posts.

We're like siblings in FG:-4. We keep so many hurts within our hearts until it explodes. Then the crankiness shows.....

I think that we're all tired and stressed out with life's curve balls. We need some sun, fun and adventures.

I remember Koan saying, years ago, that she'd like to take a big van, and just come and pick up all the FG members and go on an adventure.

Geeze, I thought that was great:driving:. I would love for someone to come pick me up in a big van and take me away for parts unknown;):D

Then come with me to my AFTR's Daily Commute thread and tell me where you want to go. I'll take you there. Virtually.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:56 am

along-for-the-ride;1152898 wrote:

Then come with me to my AFTR's Daily Commute thread and tell me where you want to go. I'll take you there. Virtually.

Wooooohooooo Along, I think that I need a bit of a trip to get rid of the doledrums....I'm comin over now.....:guitarist

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:04 am

buttercup: Glad I hadn't joined in 2005 by the sound of it.

We likes fluffy, we does. Particularly with a head like mine this morning!

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:02 am

buttercup;1152891 wrote: I arrived in 2005, believe me Clodhopper this forum is now quiet, tame and friendly, far more so than it has ever been in past years, in fact its almost fluffy.

Yes actually in terms of the personal stuff, this forum is a lot better behaved in general than it used to be really. Lets hope that continues. :-6