Is Hell Exorthermic Or Endothermic?

[polycarp]

This was forwarded to me by a friend. I don't know who the original author is, but I sure enjoyed reading it and decided to share it.

HELL

The following is supposedly an actual question given on

a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is

compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing

in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell

and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets

to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at

the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these

religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will

go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and

since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project

that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at

the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that

in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the

volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate

at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell

will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop

until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during

my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last

night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that---since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is

therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence

of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

"Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[jahamaa]

Good Post.

I assume the only way to get A+ was to have included Teresa's phone number.

[polycarp]

jahamaa wrote: Good Post.

I assume the only way to get A+ was to have included Teresa's phone number.
Ha ha ha! I can't agree less jahamaa.