I'm in the mood for a little discussion right now. As many of you know, I work in a school. I started back last Monday at a new school and it's been an incredibly hectic but also lovely week.
What I'd like to reflect on is the kids and compare them to ourselves as schoolkids from however long ago (or not so long ago) that that was.
For instance, I'm working with Year 4's (aged 8 years old). Some of them are very bright. They're working above the level I was at at their age but then with the internet and modern technology they have access to far more info than I had at their age. I used out-of-date library books with limited information. They have up-to-date internet info and pictures and videos which are far more interesting, more accessible and so more memorable, which is great.
However, that is only one child, maybe 2, out of 30. Of the others we have a child who is bright, but up until this year has been so badly behaved that no one knew how low his ability was. He struggled to read a Reception Year book (for 4 year olds). We have attention-seekers who are constantly naughty and misbehave in order to get negative attention because they get no attention at home (this isn't a guess, I know this for a fact) and would rather get negative attention than no attention at all. Taking away play time and Golden Time has helped a little but I feel mean doing it. These children are rude and silly, disruptive to the whole class, exceedingly immature for their age and in constant need of praise and guidance just to get them to do the smallest thing.
We have ADD, ADHD, behaviour problems, learning problems, children who lack every social skill. Our school are even setting up a Nurture Group to teach children how to sit to a table and eat with a knife and fork; how to socialise with their peers; how to share. Things that they should be learning at home, basic social skills, they just don't have.
Why do you think this is?
Why are children today so different from the way we were at school?
Granted, discipline was a lot stricter then. Misbehaviour could get you caned or slippered. Teachers were respected by parents and pupils. Not so nowadays.
Why do you think the respect has gone?
Why do children seem so less able or capable than we were way back when?
Is it because both parents have to work now?
But not all parents work.
My school is in a council estate area, a high amount of parents are on benefits.
Why are they more interested in booze (alcohol) and fags (ciggies) than their kids?
Why are so many kids ADD or ADHD or statemented when they never were before? Were they all kept in special schools? Were they just considered to be lazy or stupid?
Did we have these type of kids then but never noticed them? Or has there been an increase in special needs kids?
And if so, why?
Why are there more special needs children today than there were years ago?
Is it just that we can diagnose more things today?
Children are dyspraxic instead of just clumsy? Or dyslexic instead of being poor spellers?
Is it because of the food they eat? the air they breathe?
Are we more aware of childrens needs today or are there more children with special needs that ever before?
And, if so, why?
I hope we can turn this into an interesting discussion thread with lots of ideas as to why children have changed in their outlook and attitude since we were young.
Children - then and now.
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Oscar Namechange
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Children - then and now.
I read a report very recently about this. The report claimed that children were starting school still in nappies and using their hands to eat food, not knowing how to use cutlery. Also, many were unable to string a sentence together and tantrums and aggression was common. It might sound over the top, but I remember my husband coming home from his job in his retirement as school caretaker, shocked to the core seeing many young children as the report described.
I believe, what has created this, is New Labour over the past 12 years. In this day and age, children have never been more cosseted and technology plays a very large part of that. I see this country divided into two groups. You have your sink estate mentality of parents spending benifit on Cannibis, drink and pc's and you have your working parents, so mortgaged to the hilt, they are doing 3 jobs to pay for It.
I blame technolgy as when we were kids, we were very lucky that my mother never had to work In her life. Instead of sitting on computers, we were taught to write before we even got to school. We were taught to knit, sew, cook, etc etc.
The whole family structure of this seems to have broken down In this country.
All accountability has been lost. Lazy parents think the teachers should wet nurse and do their job for them Instead of preparing their child for school before they got there. I can remember the days where, If your 5 year old was not toilet trained, the school did not take them until they were.
The standards in this country have gone down the toilet where the family unit is disfunctional in the main.
I believe, what has created this, is New Labour over the past 12 years. In this day and age, children have never been more cosseted and technology plays a very large part of that. I see this country divided into two groups. You have your sink estate mentality of parents spending benifit on Cannibis, drink and pc's and you have your working parents, so mortgaged to the hilt, they are doing 3 jobs to pay for It.
I blame technolgy as when we were kids, we were very lucky that my mother never had to work In her life. Instead of sitting on computers, we were taught to write before we even got to school. We were taught to knit, sew, cook, etc etc.
The whole family structure of this seems to have broken down In this country.
All accountability has been lost. Lazy parents think the teachers should wet nurse and do their job for them Instead of preparing their child for school before they got there. I can remember the days where, If your 5 year old was not toilet trained, the school did not take them until they were.
The standards in this country have gone down the toilet where the family unit is disfunctional in the main.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Betty Boop
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Children - then and now.
As far as I am aware Oscar pre-school groups will not take children unless they are dry, also the age for entering school now is four not five. Those four year olds look far too little to be dressed in uniform and lining up heading into their classroom bless them. :-1
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Oscar Namechange
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Children - then and now.
Betty Boop;1241090 wrote: As far as I am aware Oscar pre-school groups will not take children unless they are dry, also the age for entering school now is four not five. Those four year olds look far too little to be dressed in uniform and lining up heading into their classroom bless them. :-1
I'm behind the times there Boops.
We see them at the start of a new term arriving on their first days at the school next to my house. Their uniform is always far too big for them :wah: It's so sweet... Bless
I'm behind the times there Boops.
We see them at the start of a new term arriving on their first days at the school next to my house. Their uniform is always far too big for them :wah: It's so sweet... Bless
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Betty Boop
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Children - then and now.
oscar;1241092 wrote: I'm behind the times there Boops.
We see them at the start of a new term arriving on their first days at the school next to my house. Their uniform is always far too big for them :wah: It's so sweet... Bless
My little girl was like that, a uniform that swamped her, I don't think it did her any good to start school so young. At seven she still clings to me and often cries when going in.
I made the decision to hold my son back a year at pre-school, he was not anywhere mentally or physically mature enough to enter school and at that point we were thrashing around trying to get information on what could be wrong with him. I knew he was not developing normally, had known it since he was a tiny baby, but was branded an over anxious first time mum. Thankfully he did eventually get diagnosed with Aspergers, again that was not an easy route to follow, one where you don't want to label your child but where if you don't he won't get the help he needs within large classroom settings to concentrate, focus and just be able to spend the day feeling secure.
For me, my son has never been labelled a 'naughty' boy as you hear of some children. He has ADD as opposed to ADHD, he's very laid back and any extreme behaviour more often than not occurs here at home and is borne out of sheer frustration.
Because other mothers know my son is statemented lots have approached me in the past for advice, help, where to start etc etc one mother in particular springs to mind. She told me that her youngest of four is constantly naughty, my instant impression was no wonder. I have witnessed this lady walking her children to school slapping them around the heads and swearing at them constantly. Yet her eldest boy is the sweetest lad I've ever met, how did they manage one out of four. My Homestart training of not to judge prevailed and she's motoring along the road now of getting the lad some help, turns out her other two are borderline but managing and she's calmer too. Not all parents are lazy, some are just not coping at all with motherhood, hands up anyone that thinks it's an easy job...
You have to remember that every child is different too, punishment routines that worked with my son do not work with my daughter, she is far more stubborn and happy to answer me back, yet out and about she's the sweetest child you'd ever wish to meet. :rolleyes:
There are also the parents who seem to churn out child after child and want to send them to school to learn how to behave socially, social skills should come from home to be then backed up by school. They have no interest and take any advice from the school as criticism. They also seem to be quick to say that there is something wrong with the child, but they do nothing to help them or the school put measures into place to assist the child. Maybe luckily for me living here these parents are currently in the minority.
I recall naughty boys amongst my peers, children that never fitted in, they were also all under achievers, they were never diagnosed with anything. I know some of them now today as adults and they just seem to head from one disaster to another, maybe they were ADD or ADHD but they just had to cope and fit in.
Maybe it's time the education system was totally re-organised and set up to develop each child individually rather than trying to please the government with league tables. Maybe all schools should become Montessori based
The Montessori method discourages many of the traditional measurements of achievement (grades, tests). The method instead focuses on sparking a child's interest in learning through presenting materials to students that will catch their interest.[15][16] The Montessori Method does measure feedback and qualitative analysis of a child’s schooling performance. The analysis does not come from grades, but from careful observation of the childMontessori method - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
We see them at the start of a new term arriving on their first days at the school next to my house. Their uniform is always far too big for them :wah: It's so sweet... Bless
My little girl was like that, a uniform that swamped her, I don't think it did her any good to start school so young. At seven she still clings to me and often cries when going in.
I made the decision to hold my son back a year at pre-school, he was not anywhere mentally or physically mature enough to enter school and at that point we were thrashing around trying to get information on what could be wrong with him. I knew he was not developing normally, had known it since he was a tiny baby, but was branded an over anxious first time mum. Thankfully he did eventually get diagnosed with Aspergers, again that was not an easy route to follow, one where you don't want to label your child but where if you don't he won't get the help he needs within large classroom settings to concentrate, focus and just be able to spend the day feeling secure.
For me, my son has never been labelled a 'naughty' boy as you hear of some children. He has ADD as opposed to ADHD, he's very laid back and any extreme behaviour more often than not occurs here at home and is borne out of sheer frustration.
Because other mothers know my son is statemented lots have approached me in the past for advice, help, where to start etc etc one mother in particular springs to mind. She told me that her youngest of four is constantly naughty, my instant impression was no wonder. I have witnessed this lady walking her children to school slapping them around the heads and swearing at them constantly. Yet her eldest boy is the sweetest lad I've ever met, how did they manage one out of four. My Homestart training of not to judge prevailed and she's motoring along the road now of getting the lad some help, turns out her other two are borderline but managing and she's calmer too. Not all parents are lazy, some are just not coping at all with motherhood, hands up anyone that thinks it's an easy job...
You have to remember that every child is different too, punishment routines that worked with my son do not work with my daughter, she is far more stubborn and happy to answer me back, yet out and about she's the sweetest child you'd ever wish to meet. :rolleyes:
There are also the parents who seem to churn out child after child and want to send them to school to learn how to behave socially, social skills should come from home to be then backed up by school. They have no interest and take any advice from the school as criticism. They also seem to be quick to say that there is something wrong with the child, but they do nothing to help them or the school put measures into place to assist the child. Maybe luckily for me living here these parents are currently in the minority.
I recall naughty boys amongst my peers, children that never fitted in, they were also all under achievers, they were never diagnosed with anything. I know some of them now today as adults and they just seem to head from one disaster to another, maybe they were ADD or ADHD but they just had to cope and fit in.
Maybe it's time the education system was totally re-organised and set up to develop each child individually rather than trying to please the government with league tables. Maybe all schools should become Montessori based
The Montessori method discourages many of the traditional measurements of achievement (grades, tests). The method instead focuses on sparking a child's interest in learning through presenting materials to students that will catch their interest.[15][16] The Montessori Method does measure feedback and qualitative analysis of a child’s schooling performance. The analysis does not come from grades, but from careful observation of the childMontessori method - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Betty Boop
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Children - then and now.
On the then and now issue, I'm not so sure children in school are that different from when I was at school. You had the naughty, the under-achievers, the bright, the eager, the keen, the laid back, the bored, and the I don't care attitudes.
You had children from academic backgrounds, children from households where they are encouraged, children from backgrounds where the parents had nothing good to say about their own school days and children who are told that education is a waste of time.
They are still all there, yes schools have less options for discipline but I think that's good, the cane was no deterrent to me, I was in no way a naughty child and from what I see it did no good to the ones that did get a thrashing, they just became hardened and de-sensitized, if it was a deterrent it was for very few people.
The more I think about it it's the schools that are responsible for what we are seeing today, they've not found the right formula for treating everyone as an individual. Schools are intent on fitting everyone into a certain criteria, everyone has to be achieving the same all the time. We're trying to churn out robots, not individuals that recognise their abilities and use these to their best advantage.
Schools are meant to be the best years of your life according to some, who can hand on heart say they were. Most people are desperate to get out of school, it's like serving time in prison. You have to go to this place five days a week, 9am until 3pm. Most teachers are jaded and not at all inspiring, the subjects are not interesting to you at all, or if you just don't get something, it's not turned around and explained differently so you just switch off believing yourself to be stupid.
What we are seeing now is disillusioned parents raising disillusioned children, why bother getting out to work and helping others, no one has helped them.
You had children from academic backgrounds, children from households where they are encouraged, children from backgrounds where the parents had nothing good to say about their own school days and children who are told that education is a waste of time.
They are still all there, yes schools have less options for discipline but I think that's good, the cane was no deterrent to me, I was in no way a naughty child and from what I see it did no good to the ones that did get a thrashing, they just became hardened and de-sensitized, if it was a deterrent it was for very few people.
The more I think about it it's the schools that are responsible for what we are seeing today, they've not found the right formula for treating everyone as an individual. Schools are intent on fitting everyone into a certain criteria, everyone has to be achieving the same all the time. We're trying to churn out robots, not individuals that recognise their abilities and use these to their best advantage.
Schools are meant to be the best years of your life according to some, who can hand on heart say they were. Most people are desperate to get out of school, it's like serving time in prison. You have to go to this place five days a week, 9am until 3pm. Most teachers are jaded and not at all inspiring, the subjects are not interesting to you at all, or if you just don't get something, it's not turned around and explained differently so you just switch off believing yourself to be stupid.
What we are seeing now is disillusioned parents raising disillusioned children, why bother getting out to work and helping others, no one has helped them.
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Oscar Namechange
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Children - then and now.
Betty Boop;1241130 wrote: On the then and now issue, I'm not so sure children in school are that different from when I was at school. You had the naughty, the under-achievers, the bright, the eager, the keen, the laid back, the bored, and the I don't care attitudes.
You had children from academic backgrounds, children from households where they are encouraged, children from backgrounds where the parents had nothing good to say about their own school days and children who are told that education is a waste of time.
They are still all there, yes schools have less options for discipline but I think that's good, the cane was no deterrent to me, I was in no way a naughty child and from what I see it did no good to the ones that did get a thrashing, they just became hardened and de-sensitized, if it was a deterrent it was for very few people.
The more I think about it it's the schools that are responsible for what we are seeing today, they've not found the right formula for treating everyone as an individual. Schools are intent on fitting everyone into a certain criteria, everyone has to be achieving the same all the time. We're trying to churn out robots, not individuals that recognise their abilities and use these to their best advantage.
Schools are meant to be the best years of your life according to some, who can hand on heart say they were. Most people are desperate to get out of school, it's like serving time in prison. You have to go to this place five days a week, 9am until 3pm. Most teachers are jaded and not at all inspiring, the subjects are not interesting to you at all, or if you just don't get something, it's not turned around and explained differently so you just switch off believing yourself to be stupid.
What we are seeing now is disillusioned parents raising disillusioned children, why bother getting out to work and helping others, no one has helped them. Very good post that I'm in agreement with.
Again, going back to Investment, more schools, more teachers, smaller class sizes and more one on one for kids,
You had children from academic backgrounds, children from households where they are encouraged, children from backgrounds where the parents had nothing good to say about their own school days and children who are told that education is a waste of time.
They are still all there, yes schools have less options for discipline but I think that's good, the cane was no deterrent to me, I was in no way a naughty child and from what I see it did no good to the ones that did get a thrashing, they just became hardened and de-sensitized, if it was a deterrent it was for very few people.
The more I think about it it's the schools that are responsible for what we are seeing today, they've not found the right formula for treating everyone as an individual. Schools are intent on fitting everyone into a certain criteria, everyone has to be achieving the same all the time. We're trying to churn out robots, not individuals that recognise their abilities and use these to their best advantage.
Schools are meant to be the best years of your life according to some, who can hand on heart say they were. Most people are desperate to get out of school, it's like serving time in prison. You have to go to this place five days a week, 9am until 3pm. Most teachers are jaded and not at all inspiring, the subjects are not interesting to you at all, or if you just don't get something, it's not turned around and explained differently so you just switch off believing yourself to be stupid.
What we are seeing now is disillusioned parents raising disillusioned children, why bother getting out to work and helping others, no one has helped them. Very good post that I'm in agreement with.
Again, going back to Investment, more schools, more teachers, smaller class sizes and more one on one for kids,
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Oscar Namechange
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- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Children - then and now.
The spoilt generation: Youngsters who lack all respect for authority are attacking their parents, the police and teachers | Mail Online
I could not agree more with this report.
I could not agree more with this report.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Silverplanter
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Children - then and now.
My job recently picked up a campaign for the Ad Council(we're a marketing company) and they did a study that said kids these days spend about 50% less time outdoors than they did 20 years ago. This would seem to be part of the problem outlined above, nowadays there is more to do indoors(video games, TV, computers). When I was a kid we would ride bikes, play baseball, etc.
The Forest Service I know has a series of PSAs and a website that is trying to get kids more connected with the outdoors called "Where The Other You Lives".The campaign is designed to get parents and kids more active in general and perhaps with more active children, problems like the social issues mentioned above would disappear.
The Forest Service I know has a series of PSAs and a website that is trying to get kids more connected with the outdoors called "Where The Other You Lives".The campaign is designed to get parents and kids more active in general and perhaps with more active children, problems like the social issues mentioned above would disappear.
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Oscar Namechange
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- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Children - then and now.
Silverplanter;1241925 wrote: My job recently picked up a campaign for the Ad Council(we're a marketing company) and they did a study that said kids these days spend about 50% less time outdoors than they did 20 years ago. This would seem to be part of the problem outlined above, nowadays there is more to do indoors(video games, TV, computers). When I was a kid we would ride bikes, play baseball, etc.
The Forest Service I know has a series of PSAs and a website that is trying to get kids more connected with the outdoors called "Where The Other You Lives".The campaign is designed to get parents and kids more active in general and perhaps with more active children, problems like the social issues mentioned above would disappear.
I totally agree but we live in a very pc world here where many childrens activities in schools are banned due to health and safety rules and regs.
Our children are one of the most obese nation in Europe and our government recently proposed some nonsense about paying mothers to walk their children to school instead of driving them.
I can remember coming home from school totally whacked some days after a day of tennis, physical education, hockey etc etc. We even had a class called 'Rural Science' where we studied wildlife and it involved treking miles into the countryside to check out a mouse. We also had our own farm in the school and part of that class was caring for 1,000 chickens, ducks, geese etc. We grew vegetables and learnt animal welfare. As well as learning about the enviroment, it taught us respect for the animal world.
The Forest Service I know has a series of PSAs and a website that is trying to get kids more connected with the outdoors called "Where The Other You Lives".The campaign is designed to get parents and kids more active in general and perhaps with more active children, problems like the social issues mentioned above would disappear.
I totally agree but we live in a very pc world here where many childrens activities in schools are banned due to health and safety rules and regs.
Our children are one of the most obese nation in Europe and our government recently proposed some nonsense about paying mothers to walk their children to school instead of driving them.
I can remember coming home from school totally whacked some days after a day of tennis, physical education, hockey etc etc. We even had a class called 'Rural Science' where we studied wildlife and it involved treking miles into the countryside to check out a mouse. We also had our own farm in the school and part of that class was caring for 1,000 chickens, ducks, geese etc. We grew vegetables and learnt animal welfare. As well as learning about the enviroment, it taught us respect for the animal world.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Silverplanter
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Children - then and now.
oscar;1241929 wrote: We even had a class called 'Rural Science' where we studied wildlife and it involved treking miles into the countryside to check out a mouse. We also had our own farm in the school and part of that class was caring for 1,000 chickens, ducks, geese etc. We grew vegetables and learnt animal welfare. As well as learning about the enviroment, it taught us respect for the animal world.
I think schools could vastly benefit from programs like these making a return.
I think schools could vastly benefit from programs like these making a return.
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Oscar Namechange
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Children - then and now.
Silverplanter;1242111 wrote: I think schools could vastly benefit from programs like these making a return. Yes, It was fabulous. The eggs were sold to raise funds for the farm also. It was far more involved than that as we learnt about pesticides for the fruit tree's we grew, along with pruning etc. We were taught animal diseases.... everything... but essentially, it got us out in the air for two afternoons a week and taught us respect for wildlife etc.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Children - then and now.
I'm not sure how different the school systems are there compared to the states. I remember back in the day, what kept me out of the principals office during all of my school years was not the thought of the school punishment, but the thought of the punishment I would get at home.
My oldest I was lucky enough to be home with her until she started 1st grade which was a full day. My youngest was in babysitting and daycare from when she was 4 months. Both of my girls never got in trouble in school...same reason as above...harsher punishment at home than from school. My girls were reading, writing, and doing simple math by the time they entered school, and they also knew their manners. Whether working full time or staying at home, it was my job as a mom to do this...period. They were taught to respect persons of authority, including their teachers.
One thing I've noticed now is the complete and utter disrespect so many children show to adults. I've heard young kids threatening their parents that they would call the police if they got spanked. I believe that the majority, and I'm not at all saying all, of the problems come from the home. Parents aren't interested in parenting, so when the child shows any type of misbehavior, disrespect or a lack of wanting to learn, they take them to a "specialist" that sticks a label on them and gives them a prescription and sends them off. Then the parent wonders why their child still isn't perfect.
There is too much emphasis on, what I call, passive parenting. The child is pretty much allowed to do whatever they want because they know the new age parent isn't going to discipline them..."kids will be kids" and are coddled and need a sticker or money just to do the smallest of things. Every little action needs praise and rewards.
Nowadays, especially in high school, kids are pretty much able to do whatever they please. They know the teachers have no disciplining authority what so ever. You know it's bad when we have to have police patroling the schools constantly and doing random locker searches for drugs and weapons. They get arrested and taken to jail, but to them it's a badge of honor. The parents run right down doing the "my poor baby was framed" bit...my step-daughter learned the hard way...if she was going to do something to get herself thrown in jail...her ass is going to stay in jail until the judge lets her out.
Sorry I've rambled on so much...it's just something I'm so passionate about.
My oldest I was lucky enough to be home with her until she started 1st grade which was a full day. My youngest was in babysitting and daycare from when she was 4 months. Both of my girls never got in trouble in school...same reason as above...harsher punishment at home than from school. My girls were reading, writing, and doing simple math by the time they entered school, and they also knew their manners. Whether working full time or staying at home, it was my job as a mom to do this...period. They were taught to respect persons of authority, including their teachers.
One thing I've noticed now is the complete and utter disrespect so many children show to adults. I've heard young kids threatening their parents that they would call the police if they got spanked. I believe that the majority, and I'm not at all saying all, of the problems come from the home. Parents aren't interested in parenting, so when the child shows any type of misbehavior, disrespect or a lack of wanting to learn, they take them to a "specialist" that sticks a label on them and gives them a prescription and sends them off. Then the parent wonders why their child still isn't perfect.
There is too much emphasis on, what I call, passive parenting. The child is pretty much allowed to do whatever they want because they know the new age parent isn't going to discipline them..."kids will be kids" and are coddled and need a sticker or money just to do the smallest of things. Every little action needs praise and rewards.
Nowadays, especially in high school, kids are pretty much able to do whatever they please. They know the teachers have no disciplining authority what so ever. You know it's bad when we have to have police patroling the schools constantly and doing random locker searches for drugs and weapons. They get arrested and taken to jail, but to them it's a badge of honor. The parents run right down doing the "my poor baby was framed" bit...my step-daughter learned the hard way...if she was going to do something to get herself thrown in jail...her ass is going to stay in jail until the judge lets her out.
Sorry I've rambled on so much...it's just something I'm so passionate about.
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Oscar Namechange
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- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Children - then and now.
shelbell;1242212 wrote: I'm not sure how different the school systems are there compared to the states. I remember back in the day, what kept me out of the principals office during all of my school years was not the thought of the school punishment, but the thought of the punishment I would get at home.
My oldest I was lucky enough to be home with her until she started 1st grade which was a full day. My youngest was in babysitting and daycare from when she was 4 months. Both of my girls never got in trouble in school...same reason as above...harsher punishment at home than from school. My girls were reading, writing, and doing simple math by the time they entered school, and they also knew their manners. Whether working full time or staying at home, it was my job as a mom to do this...period. They were taught to respect persons of authority, including their teachers.
One thing I've noticed now is the complete and utter disrespect so many children show to adults. I've heard young kids threatening their parents that they would call the police if they got spanked. I believe that the majority, and I'm not at all saying all, of the problems come from the home. Parents aren't interested in parenting, so when the child shows any type of misbehavior, disrespect or a lack of wanting to learn, they take them to a "specialist" that sticks a label on them and gives them a prescription and sends them off. Then the parent wonders why their child still isn't perfect.
There is too much emphasis on, what I call, passive parenting. The child is pretty much allowed to do whatever they want because they know the new age parent isn't going to discipline them..."kids will be kids" and are coddled and need a sticker or money just to do the smallest of things. Every little action needs praise and rewards.
Nowadays, especially in high school, kids are pretty much able to do whatever they please. They know the teachers have no disciplining authority what so ever. You know it's bad when we have to have police patroling the schools constantly and doing random locker searches for drugs and weapons. They get arrested and taken to jail, but to them it's a badge of honor. The parents run right down doing the "my poor baby was framed" bit...my step-daughter learned the hard way...if she was going to do something to get herself thrown in jail...her ass is going to stay in jail until the judge lets her out.
Sorry I've rambled on so much...it's just something I'm so passionate about.
I totally agree Shell but I do think Britains teenagers are the worst. A 40% increase in youth crime just about says it all and they are the one's that got caught. !
The parents that make me laugh are the one's who Insist they know where their kid is 24/7 and know who they are with and what they are doing.... I don't think so !!! :wah: When they caught... as you say 'My little Johnny was framed or It was some-one elses kid.
I also don't see teenagers as a reflection to how they turn out in life as adults either. A good teenager can end up a drunk or addict later in life due to all sorts of pressures, where-as the bad kid could turn his life around.
My oldest I was lucky enough to be home with her until she started 1st grade which was a full day. My youngest was in babysitting and daycare from when she was 4 months. Both of my girls never got in trouble in school...same reason as above...harsher punishment at home than from school. My girls were reading, writing, and doing simple math by the time they entered school, and they also knew their manners. Whether working full time or staying at home, it was my job as a mom to do this...period. They were taught to respect persons of authority, including their teachers.
One thing I've noticed now is the complete and utter disrespect so many children show to adults. I've heard young kids threatening their parents that they would call the police if they got spanked. I believe that the majority, and I'm not at all saying all, of the problems come from the home. Parents aren't interested in parenting, so when the child shows any type of misbehavior, disrespect or a lack of wanting to learn, they take them to a "specialist" that sticks a label on them and gives them a prescription and sends them off. Then the parent wonders why their child still isn't perfect.
There is too much emphasis on, what I call, passive parenting. The child is pretty much allowed to do whatever they want because they know the new age parent isn't going to discipline them..."kids will be kids" and are coddled and need a sticker or money just to do the smallest of things. Every little action needs praise and rewards.
Nowadays, especially in high school, kids are pretty much able to do whatever they please. They know the teachers have no disciplining authority what so ever. You know it's bad when we have to have police patroling the schools constantly and doing random locker searches for drugs and weapons. They get arrested and taken to jail, but to them it's a badge of honor. The parents run right down doing the "my poor baby was framed" bit...my step-daughter learned the hard way...if she was going to do something to get herself thrown in jail...her ass is going to stay in jail until the judge lets her out.
Sorry I've rambled on so much...it's just something I'm so passionate about.
I totally agree Shell but I do think Britains teenagers are the worst. A 40% increase in youth crime just about says it all and they are the one's that got caught. !
The parents that make me laugh are the one's who Insist they know where their kid is 24/7 and know who they are with and what they are doing.... I don't think so !!! :wah: When they caught... as you say 'My little Johnny was framed or It was some-one elses kid.
I also don't see teenagers as a reflection to how they turn out in life as adults either. A good teenager can end up a drunk or addict later in life due to all sorts of pressures, where-as the bad kid could turn his life around.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Children - then and now.
oscar;1242216 wrote: I totally agree Shell but I do think Britains teenagers are the worst. A 40% increase in youth crime just about says it all and they are the one's that got caught. !
The parents that make me laugh are the one's who Insist they know where their kid is 24/7 and know who they are with and what they are doing.... I don't think so !!! :wah: When they caught... as you say 'My little Johnny was framed or It was some-one elses kid.
I also don't see teenagers as a reflection to how they turn out in life as adults either. A good teenager can end up a drunk or addict later in life due to all sorts of pressures, where-as the bad kid could turn his life around.
I agree...and it's so awesome to see a "bad" kid turn their lives around and really make something of themselves. I'm still hoping and praying that my 21yr old step daughter does...she is a nightmare. But last I heard she is moving to Florida to live with her mom and her mom is a nasty witch...so I don't see that happening anytime soon.
And you're also right about the good kids...I was a pretty good teenager, yet ended up an alcoholic...but I'm almost 6yrs clean. So I guess it's never too late.
The parents that make me laugh are the one's who Insist they know where their kid is 24/7 and know who they are with and what they are doing.... I don't think so !!! :wah: When they caught... as you say 'My little Johnny was framed or It was some-one elses kid.
I also don't see teenagers as a reflection to how they turn out in life as adults either. A good teenager can end up a drunk or addict later in life due to all sorts of pressures, where-as the bad kid could turn his life around.
I agree...and it's so awesome to see a "bad" kid turn their lives around and really make something of themselves. I'm still hoping and praying that my 21yr old step daughter does...she is a nightmare. But last I heard she is moving to Florida to live with her mom and her mom is a nasty witch...so I don't see that happening anytime soon.
And you're also right about the good kids...I was a pretty good teenager, yet ended up an alcoholic...but I'm almost 6yrs clean. So I guess it's never too late.
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Oscar Namechange
- Posts: 31840
- Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:26 am
Children - then and now.
shelbell;1242249 wrote: I agree...and it's so awesome to see a "bad" kid turn their lives around and really make something of themselves. I'm still hoping and praying that my 21yr old step daughter does...she is a nightmare. But last I heard she is moving to Florida to live with her mom and her mom is a nasty witch...so I don't see that happening anytime soon.
And you're also right about the good kids...I was a pretty good teenager, yet ended up an alcoholic...but I'm almost 6yrs clean. So I guess it's never too late.
I know It's been a hard struggle for you Shell and you've done It as well with your loss. :-4 Give your Step-daughter time. She is still young. My step-son was a nightmare also but did good in the end. I was really hard on him when he was growing up. It was my house.. I paid the bills... my rules.
And you're also right about the good kids...I was a pretty good teenager, yet ended up an alcoholic...but I'm almost 6yrs clean. So I guess it's never too late.
I know It's been a hard struggle for you Shell and you've done It as well with your loss. :-4 Give your Step-daughter time. She is still young. My step-son was a nightmare also but did good in the end. I was really hard on him when he was growing up. It was my house.. I paid the bills... my rules.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Children - then and now.
oscar;1242251 wrote: I know It's been a hard struggle for you Shell and you've done It as well with your loss. :-4 Give your Step-daughter time. She is still young. My step-son was a nightmare also but did good in the end. I was really hard on him when he was growing up. It was my house.. I paid the bills... my rules.
We are very much alike there girl...my house, my rules....if you don't like it tough shiit! :wah:
We are very much alike there girl...my house, my rules....if you don't like it tough shiit! :wah:
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Silverplanter
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:29 pm
Children - then and now.
just wanted to follow up with you guys about the "Where the Other You Lives" campaign.
the Forest Service is trying now to run a contest now that is designed to promote experiences in nature. They want children to depict their experiences in coloring/drawing and submit them to the site they have for the contest.
It's a great idea as it adds incentive to explore nature, and the reward is a North Face gift card.
the Forest Service is trying now to run a contest now that is designed to promote experiences in nature. They want children to depict their experiences in coloring/drawing and submit them to the site they have for the contest.
It's a great idea as it adds incentive to explore nature, and the reward is a North Face gift card.