sorry am i being selfish

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:22 am

having just broken up with sue and having my daughter go back to the states for who knows how long

i find myself totally exhausted and need to re-charge my batteries ,i have decided to spend every moment trying to get myself well again i have gone through my phone and everyone who is hassle or is like quicksand by that i mean people that take take take and never give anything back i have deleted them all

and any one on face book who is a pot stirrer or is just a drain i have deleted and you know what i'm starting to feel better all ready

i just talk to people who are happy and up not being dragged down by idiots who just want to argue and drag you down is really paying dividends big time

has anyone else ever taken such drastic action

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:31 am

Sorry to hear of your trying times. It sounds as if you're on the right road. While I've not deleted people like that, in case I want to talk to them when I feel better or when they do, I've distanced myself from them. And you're right, it does make you feel better for having taken a positive step.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:37 am

sorry to hear that news Jimbo. I dont know if im one of the ones you have deleted yet or not miond but still im sorry anyway, and yes sometimes you have to cut people loose for your own sanity:-6

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:43 am

I'm sorry Jimbo. Anything it takes to get through trying times is not selfish. :-4

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:45 am

Sorry to hear about you and Sue, you guys have been through a lot together.

got to take care of you first, before you can take care of anyone else.

As always, I hope it all works out for you and all involved.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:50 am

mikeinie;1257358 wrote: Sorry to hear about you and Sue, you guys have been through a lot together.

got to take care of you first, before you can take care of anyone else.

As always, I hope it all works out for you and all involved.

Having said that, just also be careful that pushing away the people you love does not clear a path that allows you to slip into a darker place.

Just a thought.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:01 am

mikeinie;1257362 wrote: Having said that, just also be careful that pushing away the people you love does not clear a path that allows you to slip into a darker place.

Just a thought.

Good advice.

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:04 am

Sometimes it's necessary, even tho it doesn't make any friends. For about a 3 year period I had cut off most communication with my extended family because they were toxic...thankfully it's all been worked out for years now and we're able to be close again. Some family members(really only a very small number) of my late hubby are extremely toxic people to mine and my girls lives, I don't think I'll ever be able to let them back in. Sometimes you have to let go of the bad to make room for the good. Do what you need to do to improve your life during such trying times. :-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:14 am

Wow Jimbo, shocking news. But the purge of negativity is a good thing given your new turn of events, it will also help you keep clear of the booze.

I don't think you are being selfish. When one is going through trying times one needs all the postivie reinforcement one can get.

Good luck Jimbo, it's not easy doing what you are doing. Shows you got some true strength.

yes I have done similar during my divorce and 6 years later all the happier for it.

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:11 am

Sorry to hear of your sad news! "When it rains it pours", is an expression here in the states. It's about a person who is having a string of really bad luck. And you seem to be having your fair share of it! There's also another saying: "Never say Never"! As it was already mentioned, it's probably wise to cut yourself off from negative people & or friends. However, you may want to consider "not" to fully burn your bridges with your once loved ones. Since it may turn out, that you didn't know what you had till it's gone. "Distance" yourself, but don't do things that can "never" be undone! I've seen people break up, & did things to each other that could never be undone. Only to later realize that they made a catastrophic mistake, but it was too late, and they still regrett it till today. So . . . . . . . . .

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:14 am

First of all, DON'T be sorry! I have indeed taken such extreme actions on several occasions; for bettering myself, for a job and to heal, most recently. You've got to do what you've got to do to survive. When you've been through such life challenges and recover you will amaze yourself with what you can accomplish. If you don't take such drastic changes and start all over again, you will only prolong the misery. Not everyone gets a second chance!

You know my story and you've read updates posted by myself and my good friends on FB and how my recovery went into overdrive immediately after severing ties forever with a certain individual. I am almost at 100% now and am in some ways healthier now than when I was at the apex of physical fitness and shape. It's amazing how toxic individuals in our lives can affect us in such a negative manner.

I'll check FB later to see if my friends list is one less... :yh_rotfl

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:25 am

i would like to just point out this thread has nothing to do with sue we have been friends for years and of course its a bit awkward right now ,but once this phase passes i would hope we could carry on being friends

i just want to lose the idiots who take take or cause stupid fights or deliberately stir and cause trouble to amuse themselves as their lives are so boring and empty they have nothing better to do :-6:-6

thanks for your thoughts guys ..jim:-6:-6

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:42 am

Well, you've already cleared out all of those damn Michael Jackson fans... should make things a bit easier now. :wah:

Focus on you, work hard, keep yourself busy, get quality rest, don't dwell on the past or present, do things that you've always wanted to and maybe most importantly... laugh your ass off!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:46 am

farmer giles;1257350 wrote: having just broken up with sue and having my daughter go back to the states for who knows how long

i find myself totally exhausted and need to re-charge my batteries ,i have decided to spend every moment trying to get myself well again i have gone through my phone and everyone who is hassle or is like quicksand by that i mean people that take take take and never give anything back i have deleted them all

and any one on face book who is a pot stirrer or is just a drain i have deleted and you know what i'm starting to feel better all ready

i just talk to people who are happy and up not being dragged down by idiots who just want to argue and drag you down is really paying dividends big time

has anyone else ever taken such drastic action

sorry to hear you broke up with Sue...you've been together for awhile so hopefully you two can work something out...as for deleting peeps on the cell & facebook, yup did dump a few & also dumped them off my email..which I changed anyways & they don't have it...oh they may have it, but they don't bother me anymore...at least i'm not harrassed about not answering each & every freegin email they send...why didn't you answer me, etc. routine...:wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:53 am

So sorry to hear about you and Sue. You know you both love each other and I'm sure you will get back together soon. Some people are meant to be together so try hard to work around these things. Sending you love and hugs. :-4

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:19 am

mate.................. :yh_hugs:yh_hugs

Barman · Post by **Barman** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:38 pm

Sorry to hear about all of this Jimbutt, on the bright side, you look like George Clooney and it looks like Spurs are going to stay up for another season.:yh_clap

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:11 pm

Hey Jim:-4

Ahhhhh, I'm so sorry to hear about you and Suzy and your daughter returning home.

Jim, You are a wonderful person and have lots of friends here. I'm so proud of you giving up the beer and working on your health. You must be so proud of yourself and rightfully so:-6

Jim, I honestly think that when people make changes to help themselves, they lose friendships and support from loved ones and friends for awhile. People who want to change sometimes need to distance themselves until they're healed. Loved ones sometimes can't understand or accept this. But, in the long run, if one loves you then they will be patient, let you go and hope that you'll return.

Best of love and luck to you and family Jim....You're in my thoughts:-4

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:42 pm

Sad times, Jim. Give yourself some time to reflect and heal. Let your emotions settle down. Plan rationally.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:47 pm

I'm sending a hug, Jimbo!!

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:56 pm

farmer giles;1257350 wrote: having just broken up with sue and having my daughter go back to the states for who knows how long

i find myself totally exhausted and need to re-charge my batteries ,i have decided to spend every moment trying to get myself well again i have gone through my phone and everyone who is hassle or is like quicksand by that i mean people that take take take and never give anything back i have deleted them all

and any one on face book who is a pot stirrer or is just a drain i have deleted and you know what i'm starting to feel better all ready

i just talk to people who are happy and up not being dragged down by idiots who just want to argue and drag you down is really paying dividends big time

has anyone else ever taken such drastic action

Oh WOW! You okay? Emotional turmoil is tough hun. You are going to have some pretty rough moments if you are alone. Stay with some friendlies when you're low. You are trying to deal with quite a few issues, it sounds like. Yeah, I did something similar. But before cell or mobile phones, and WAY before facebook. I started off in Indiana, and ended up in Arizona, out of gas and out of luck. I was alone. Didnt know a soul, and I was nursing a SERIOUSLY broken heart. Yep. I understand. Take care you.:yh_hugs

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 2:08 pm

Sorry to hear about you & Sue.

As you are such good mates I am sure you will both be working things out & be back to happy times soon.

Just concentrate on you two & the rest doesn't really matter.

All the best to both of you:-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 2:33 pm

Dude...Suzy Q? Really? Im going to crack you one in the head but its out of love ok?

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:08 pm

I just came across your thread, Jimbo. I am sorry to hear about your break-up with Suzy, and I do hope you two can remain friends. I know you will miss your daughter, but try to keep in touch with her. I can empathize with you because I have survived break-ups and have also seen my children move away.

A person who gives of himself as you do can never be called selfish.

Know that you do have a friend here. Take care of yourself.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:23 am

Do what you have to do, old thing.

We think you're great.

farmer giles · Post by **farmer giles** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:51 am

Clodhopper;1257704 wrote: Do what you have to do, old thing.

We think you're great.

old thing :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

thanks everyone i forced myself to go out at 10 pm last night

i saw a few old mates had a laugh and feel much better today

life goes on :-6:-6

my plan of eliminating all needless hassle is working

i dont waste any energy to and fro-ing with idiots i just talk to nice people and guess what only nice things happen

:D

thanks to every one :-6:-6

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:25 am

old thing

thanks everyone i forced myself to go out at 10 pm last night

i saw a few old mates had a laugh and feel much better today

life goes on

my plan of eliminating all needless hassle is working

i dont waste any energy to and fro-ing with idiots i just talk to nice people and guess what only nice things happen

:)

Monty Python - Universe Song - Video

...should help to keep things in perspective.