The problem with being young...

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:48 am

In my case, I was ashamed of being who I was. Living on a reservation doesn't exactly make you the cool person at my school and speaking english with a broken accent didn't exactly make me sound like one of the brighter kids in class. So determined and completely willing to forget a language and a culture, i just assumed i'd always be around, seemed so easy and the right thing to do. Now that i'm older and pretty much the only native american around for miles who isn't cherokee, I feel this need to relearn my culture. I wish there had been a balance between my language and english. I wish i hadn't been so willing to please my white teachers by showing them that i wasn't ignorant because i spoke in a funny way. I find myself googling the navajo culture once in a while and thinking about fry bread and sheep hearding and wishing i knew how to say, "What time is it?" in navajo. I also remember my grandma/great aunt being completely ashamed of me when i couldn't even have a conversation with her but at the time thinking, I'll be better and smarter then you one day... I wonder why now, had i given a race and language so much power to forget who i am and where i came from...

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:00 am

It highlights other peoples shortcomings OS, not yours. Your still very young and you should be proud of your desire to embrace your culture. You have only gone what we all go through when we are young. Alas it takes most of us far too long to wake up and smell the coffee and when we do it's almost too late.

Good luck

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:28 am

Omni_Skittles;1264470 wrote: In my case, I was ashamed of being who I was. Living on a reservation doesn't exactly make you the cool person at my school and speaking english with a broken accent didn't exactly make me sound like one of the brighter kids in class. So determined and completely willing to forget a language and a culture, i just assumed i'd always be around, seemed so easy and the right thing to do. Now that i'm older and pretty much the only native american around for miles who isn't cherokee, I feel this need to relearn my culture. I wish there had been a balance between my language and english. I wish i hadn't been so willing to please my white teachers by showing them that i wasn't ignorant because i spoke in a funny way. I find myself googling the navajo culture once in a while and thinking about fry bread and sheep hearding and wishing i knew how to say, "What time is it?" in navajo. I also remember my grandma/great aunt being completely ashamed of me when i couldn't even have a conversation with her but at the time thinking, I'll be better and smarter then you one day... I wonder why now, had i given a race and language so much power to forget who i am and where i came from...WOW! What a wonderful post. Your choices, while not easy on loved ones and school official preconceptions has made you very wise. The life of the prophet or sojourner is often a lonely existence, but those who come after you will benefit from your boldness to confront the realities and contradictions in life.

The good news for you is you're young and have so much more to experience in life while on your unique journey. Ride it with dignity and respect as you seem to now be doing.

Keep these posts coming. i admire you!

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:28 am

I agree with Snowfire.

One of the wonders of life is seeking and finding the answers.

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:11 pm

Snowfire;1264478 wrote: It highlights other peoples shortcomings OS, not yours. Your still very young and you should be proud of your desire to embrace your culture. You have only gone what we all go through when we are young. Alas it takes most of us far too long to wake up and smell the coffee and when we do it's almost too late.

Good luckThanks, Ha, I don't feel so young sometimes or as young as i used to be... but i clearly am!

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:16 pm

Robert J;1264521 wrote: WOW! What a wonderful post. Your choices, while not easy on loved ones and school official preconceptions has made you very wise. The life of the prophet or sojourner is often a lonely existence, but those who come after you will benefit from your boldness to confront the realities and contradictions in life.

The good news for you is you're young and have so much more to experience in life while on your unique journey. Ride it with dignity and respect as you seem to now be doing.

Keep these posts coming. i admire you!well, i wouldn't go that far I'm just a young dumb kid realizing my mistakes lol

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:33 pm

Omni_Skittles;1264681 wrote: well, i wouldn't go that far I'm just a young dumb kid realizing my mistakes lol

When you've realised your mistakes, you aint dumb no more

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 12:04 am

Omni_Skittles;1264470 wrote: In my case, I was ashamed of being who I was. Living on a reservation doesn't exactly make you the cool person at my school and speaking english with a broken accent didn't exactly make me sound like one of the brighter kids in class. So determined and completely willing to forget a language and a culture, i just assumed i'd always be around, seemed so easy and the right thing to do. Now that i'm older and pretty much the only native american around for miles who isn't cherokee, I feel this need to relearn my culture. I wish there had been a balance between my language and english. I wish i hadn't been so willing to please my white teachers by showing them that i wasn't ignorant because i spoke in a funny way. I find myself googling the navajo culture once in a while and thinking about fry bread and sheep hearding and wishing i knew how to say, "What time is it?" in navajo. I also remember my grandma/great aunt being completely ashamed of me when i couldn't even have a conversation with her but at the time thinking, I'll be better and smarter then you one day... I wonder why now, had i given a race and language so much power to forget who i am and where i came from...

Being young is tough little Skittles. Its hard for everyone even though it may seem like youre the only one at times.

Study your heritage, its who you are. It took me 40 years to accept myself as having a rightful place in the world and start the process of being comfortable in my own skin and loving myself for who I am. Freaky quirks and all.

Its a process sweetie.

Some day you will find out its your uniqueness that makes you beautiful.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:23 am

Being young, you have the ability to reclaim your culture. Listen to your elders to keep the language alive. Hear the stories they relate to you, so you may pass them on to the next generation. As you return home, walk the land that is yours, and breath in the knowledge that is there.

Too many forget, and then it is difficult to know what has been there from your birth, the knowledge of The People. It is a part of you, you have become old enough to understand this.

To be a Guardian and blessed by these things is the uniqueness that is you. It does not matter if at your present school you are the only one, you will find other Native Americans on your life's journey.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:11 am

posted by omni skittles

I also remember my grandma/great aunt being completely ashamed of me when i couldn't even have a conversation with her but at the time thinking, I'll be better and smarter then you one day... I wonder why now, had i given a race and language so much power to forget who i am and where i came from...

It's not just you it happened to and it's not as though you or your predecessors actually had any choice in the matter. Now you can rediscover your heritage and will probably appreciate it all the more.

The real problem with being young is that time solves it for you.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:29 am

Don’t be too hard on yourself; it is not easy being a kid living in a country that sees you as different. Growing up, particularly in North America there were so many cowboy and Indian shows. I think that as an adult now, the Indians were always represented terribly, but that was the influence of the time.

Today, I think and hope people embrace not only their own cultures, but respect other cultures more openly.

It is not too late to embrace your heritage, your language and your culture.

Enjoy.

Saint_ · Post by **Saint_** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 11:23 am

It's never too late, skittles! I'm trying to learn Navajo right now! (Most of my friends are navajo and I'd like to have a conversation with them in Navajo.):D

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:13 pm

I guess it's harder to relearn my culture when i'm not around it. That's why i'm so mad at myself now, had i not been stupid as a child and so resentful to the "ignorance" of my people, I wouldn't be wondering how to say what time is it in Navajo... I'd know!

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:13 pm

Saint_;1264867 wrote: It's never too late, skittles! I'm trying to learn Navajo right now! (Most of my friends are navajo and I'd like to have a conversation with them in Navajo.):Dlol see you have a better chance right now then i do!!! so unfair

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:14 pm

gmc;1264824 wrote: posted by omni skittles

It's not just you it happened to and it's not as though you or your predecessors actually had any choice in the matter. Now you can rediscover your heritage and will probably appreciate it all the more.

The real problem with being young is that time solves it for you.so so true

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:41 am

You're a smart young girl Skittles, go out there and embrase your desire to learn, or relearn. A life well lived is a life with few regrets.

Your experiences sound similar to mine, as I grew up I hid my Hungarian upbringing was happy my father did not teach my how to speak because I was ignorant to even where Hungary was. Well as my grandmother aged she slowly reverted back to speaking Hungarian, and we lost a lot of history and skills by putting out heads in the sand and not learning how to communicate with her. Gone are the recipes, and family ties to "the old country", our history etc.

If only I knew then what I know now.... Skittles never let that phrase get the better of you.