It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All telephone numbers in America begin with 555.
Most dogs are immortal.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Dinosaurs only eat ugly or immoral people.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition – even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.
You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
All single women have a cat.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
The Chief of Police is always black.
When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet. As you take out a bill, just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by six inches.
Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.
Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people – whether they are employed or not.
Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective – or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
When the star detective gets suspended, it’s usually because he has wrecked 20 cars during a pursuit, or because he has offended the mayor.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of an average football stadium.
If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath – even if it’s the middle of the afternoon – then look in your bathroom mirror and he will suddenly appear behind you.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Restaurant bills will always be 15% less than the amount you are holding in your hand.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. The room will be subtly lit.
A person being pursued will always stop and throw something at the person chasing them – even though it takes three times longer to stop and throw the obstacles than it does for the person chasing to jump over them.
Only in the movies
Only in the movies
Someone in the movie will be driving a highly collectible classic car. Usually the poorer the person, the more collectible the car.
And there’s always a parking spot right in front of your destination.
Women always fall down when they run, and usually have to be carried at some point.
Background music will always give you a clue as to what is about to happen, so that you don’t laugh at the wrong time.
Revolvers are good for 9 – 15 shots and semi-automatic’s are good forever just keep pulling that trigger.
The hero spends most of his time running (shirtless) and almost never stops to sleep or rest.
Women – whether getting out of the shower or just waking up in bed – will always have perfect make-up on!
No panda eyes or bed-head for them! Lol!
And hair never gets messed up no matter what the hero goes through.
And every single mouseclick or keypress will produce a bleeping sound, no matter what kind of program you are running on your pc.
And there’s always a parking spot right in front of your destination.
Women always fall down when they run, and usually have to be carried at some point.
Background music will always give you a clue as to what is about to happen, so that you don’t laugh at the wrong time.
Revolvers are good for 9 – 15 shots and semi-automatic’s are good forever just keep pulling that trigger.
The hero spends most of his time running (shirtless) and almost never stops to sleep or rest.
Women – whether getting out of the shower or just waking up in bed – will always have perfect make-up on!
No panda eyes or bed-head for them! Lol!
And hair never gets messed up no matter what the hero goes through.
And every single mouseclick or keypress will produce a bleeping sound, no matter what kind of program you are running on your pc.
Only in the movies
I loved it. Thanks.:wah:
Only in the movies
The hero spends most of his time running (shirtless) and almost never stops to sleep or rest.:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
great to have you back!:-6
great to have you back!:-6
Life is just to short for drama.
Only in the movies
Odie;1294581 wrote: The hero spends most of his time running (shirtless) and almost never stops to sleep or rest.:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
great to have you back!:-6
Awww..... :-4 Thanks
:-6
great to have you back!:-6
Awww..... :-4 Thanks
:-6
Only in the movies
People will always walk / run into the extremely dangerous / frightening / haunted looking house.
Behaviour breeds behaviour - treat people how you would like to be treated yourself
Only in the movies
woppy71;1294725 wrote: People will always walk / run into the extremely dangerous / frightening / haunted looking house.
Yes, and you always worry for them and think how stupid and foolhardy they are . . . you forget they have a full camera crew behind them who could fight off any real evil guys. :yh_rotfl
Yes, and you always worry for them and think how stupid and foolhardy they are . . . you forget they have a full camera crew behind them who could fight off any real evil guys. :yh_rotfl
Only in the movies
Hey Wopster, congrats on being green now, oh infracted one! :wah:
Only in the movies
Rapunzel;1294710 wrote: Awww..... :-4 Thanks :-6
how was the move?
happier now hun?
:-6how was the move?
happier now hun?
Life is just to short for drama.
Only in the movies
A few more observations:- :yh_rotfl
Never forget that a cowboy can kill an enemy at 100 yards with a 6 shooter, the enemy being on a galloping horse. Of course the horse is never hit, but the enemy is shot in the head! Also the six shooter has about 24 bullets in the chamber, sometimes they can squeeze more in !
It is strange how often a full orchestra can be found playing on a mountainside ! Also, on accasion, under the sea !!!!
In most cowboy fight scenes, it is statutory wearing apparel to have a hat on the head at all times. It should remain there however many times the cowboy is punched to the head or knocked to the ground !
Heroes are so resilient, that when they receive a knock-out blow, similar to a Muhammed Ali big punch, he goes down but gets up almost immediately, shakes his head and carries on punching! This activity seems to go on for many 'knock-downs' until the hero gets the better of his assailant. The hero also never seems to be the worse for wear after such an activity, not even a headache!
Have you noticed how fit these actors are? They are never out of breath, even after running for several blocks!
The heroine usually just stands to the side, helpless and often screaming, whilst her hero is despatching the villain, and when the villain momentarily gets the upper hand, she will never think to grab a missile and hit the villain on the head with it, to help the hero !
:rolleyes: :yh_rotfl
Never forget that a cowboy can kill an enemy at 100 yards with a 6 shooter, the enemy being on a galloping horse. Of course the horse is never hit, but the enemy is shot in the head! Also the six shooter has about 24 bullets in the chamber, sometimes they can squeeze more in !
It is strange how often a full orchestra can be found playing on a mountainside ! Also, on accasion, under the sea !!!!
In most cowboy fight scenes, it is statutory wearing apparel to have a hat on the head at all times. It should remain there however many times the cowboy is punched to the head or knocked to the ground !
Heroes are so resilient, that when they receive a knock-out blow, similar to a Muhammed Ali big punch, he goes down but gets up almost immediately, shakes his head and carries on punching! This activity seems to go on for many 'knock-downs' until the hero gets the better of his assailant. The hero also never seems to be the worse for wear after such an activity, not even a headache!
Have you noticed how fit these actors are? They are never out of breath, even after running for several blocks!
The heroine usually just stands to the side, helpless and often screaming, whilst her hero is despatching the villain, and when the villain momentarily gets the upper hand, she will never think to grab a missile and hit the villain on the head with it, to help the hero !
:rolleyes: :yh_rotfl
I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully
Only in the movies
The hero is always an amazing shot with any weapon.
Bad guys either always miss or shoot each other.
All guards are deaf blind and stupid.
Bad guys either always miss or shoot each other.
All guards are deaf blind and stupid.
-
along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Only in the movies
Our real lives don't have background music.
Or do they?
:D
Or do they?
:DLife is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Only in the movies
along-for-the-ride;1294821 wrote: Our real lives don't have background music.
Or do they?:D
Not usually, unless you're in your teens :yh_rotfl :rolleyes: and certainly not while we climb mountains !
Or do they?
:DNot usually, unless you're in your teens :yh_rotfl :rolleyes: and certainly not while we climb mountains !
I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully