Heaven Hell

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:02 pm

In Heaven, the British are the cops, the French are the cooks, the Germans are the mechanics, the Italians are the lovers, and the Swiss are the bankers. In Hell, the British are the cooks, the French are the mechanics, the Germans are the cops, the Italians are the bankers, and the Swiss are the lovers.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:41 pm

And evidently both the Americans and the Aussies are off duty in both places!

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:11 am

Nah.................. The Aussies are playing cricket, and the Americans are playing baseball ! :yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:34 am

Ah yes, but what if the Americans were playing cricket and the Aussies were playing baseball !! Sounds pretty infernal to me!

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:45 am

The Aussies would win, hands down, as usual! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Well at least that's what the Aussies would say :yh_rotfl

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:26 am

AussiePam;1300772 wrote: And evidently both the Americans and the Aussies are off duty in both places!

The americans haven't a clue what is going on but are convinced it's up to them to do something about it but are waiting till someone starts a war so they can join in the winning side and claim they saved everybody - and the aussies have gone walkabout and won't be back for a year.

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:38 am

gmc;1300813 wrote: The americans haven't a clue what is going on but are convinced it's up to them to do something about it but are waiting till someone starts a war so they can join in the winning side and claim they saved everybody - and the aussies have gone walkabout and won't be back for a year.

We kicked your sorry butts out in 1783 and some of you are STILL WHINING because of it. LOSERS. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

If this starts a ruckus, remember who started it. NOT ol' hop.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:53 am

gmc;1300813 wrote: The americans haven't a clue what is going on but are convinced it's up to them to do something about it but are waiting till someone starts a war so they can join in the winning side and claim they saved everybody - and the aussies have gone walkabout and won't be back for a year.

Don't you ever tire from thinking up nasty things to say to us Mr. Funny Guy:rolleyes::p It must wear you out by the end of the day:wah:

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:54 am

hoppy;1300815 wrote: We kicked your sorry butts out in 1783 and some of you are STILL WHINING because of it. LOSERS. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

If this starts a ruckus, remember who started it. NOT ol' hop.

Americans need to stop taking themselves so seriously and develop a sense of humour. Glad to see you're getting there

Not only did we give you the inspiration for the star spangled banner- fireworks eh you're easily impressed- we're also the only country to successfully invade you and burn down the white house. 1783 was a cunning plot to make sure all the christian fundamentalists that went there wouldn't come back.

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:57 am

we're also the only country to successfully invade you and burn down the white house. 1783 was a cunning plot to make sure all the christian fundamentalists that went there wouldn't come back.

Don't flatter yourselves. YOU STILL LOST. And, we did come back. Not to fight you but to bail your sorry asses out. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **LarsMac** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:19 am

Isn't sibling rivalry just so darling?

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:19 am

Lon;1300771 wrote: In Heaven, the British are the cops, the French are the cooks, the Germans are the mechanics, the Italians are the lovers, and the Swiss are the bankers. In Hell, the British are the cooks, the French are the mechanics, the Germans are the cops, the Italians are the bankers, and the Swiss are the lovers.

I would rather ANYONE other than the French be the cooks.

Post by **LarsMac** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:35 am

hoppy;1300858 wrote: I would rather ANYONE other than the French be the cooks.

That Italians should be the cooks!

You know that it was they who taught the French how to cook.

Well, tried, anyway.

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:43 am

LarsMac;1300860 wrote: That Italians should be the cooks!

You know that it was they who taught the French how to cook.

Well, tried, anyway.

Having grown up with German/slav cooking, my tastes run that way. But, we have lots of Mexican, Asian and Italian eateries here. I have adopted quite well to Mexican and Italian food.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:05 am

Lon;1300771 wrote: In Heaven, the British are the cops, . Now you ARE being silly.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:07 am

Kathy Ellen;1300823 wrote: Don't you ever tire from thinking up nasty things to say to us Mr. Funny Guy:rolleyes::p It must wear you out by the end of the day:wah:
One must have sympathy Kathy. He's Scottish.

Post by **LarsMac** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:11 am

oscar;1300888 wrote: One must have sympathy Kathy. He's Scottish.

yup.

Heaven or hell, The Scots will be looking for the biggest bloke in the pub to pick a fight with.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:06 pm

[quote=gmc;1300842]Americans need to stop taking themselves so seriously and develop a sense of humour. Glad to see you're getting there

I don't take myself too seriously G and do have a good sense of humor. It would be nice if you looked around for your manners....think you lost them along the way:p.

Come to Noo Joisey someday, and I'll show you how funny we can be. You might just learn to like us;)

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:07 pm

oscar;1300888 wrote: One must have sympathy Kathy. He's Scottish.

Too bloody true Julie...too bloody true:wah:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:12 pm

I'd join in but apparently I've gone walkabout. Or maybe, I've been abolished in a puff of science, along with heaven and hell and hopefully haggis. I've grabbed the Italian lovers and the French cooks, or vice versa, and a bunch of Irish musicians, Kathy- and we've all gone to the beach. Bring yer swimmers, ladies.

:sneaky:

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:29 pm

AussiePam;1300912 wrote: I'd join in but apparently I've gone walkabout. Or maybe, I've been abolished in a puff of science, along with heaven and hell and hopefully haggis. I've grabbed the Italian lovers and the French cooks, or vice versa, and a bunch of Irish musicians, Kathy- and we've all gone to the beach. Bring yer swimmers, ladies.

:sneaky:

Woooohoooo Pam,

Hurry on over. I have the sammys and champers already packed....Oh, I love all these lovely men you've picked up:-4

I told the kidlets about walkabouts , and they want to know if you'll 'walkabout' to our neck of the woods:yh_rotfl

Hurry up...beach chairs are set up:wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:44 pm

Kathy Ellen;1300923 wrote: Woooohoooo Pam,

Hurry on over. I have the sammys and champers already packed....Oh, I love all these lovely men you've picked up:-4

I told the kidlets about walkabouts , and they want to know if you'll 'walkabout' to our neck of the woods:yh_rotfl

Hurry up...beach chairs are set up:wah:

I'm coming. I've got scones and Raspberry Jam with Devon Clotted Cream.

I bet gmc has a face like a Bulldog licking Shyte off a thistle when he reads this :yh_rotfl

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:54 pm

oscar;1300930 wrote: I'm coming. I've got scones and Raspberry Jam with Devon Clotted Cream.

I bet gmc has a face like a Bulldog licking Shyte off a thistle when he reads this :yh_rotfl

:wah:We'll save a chair for him if he brings his manners.

Oh, I do love scones with raspberry jam...don't think I've tasted clotted cream, but it sounds yummy.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:14 pm

Kathy Ellen;1300938 wrote: :wah:We'll save a chair for him if he brings his manners.

.

He hasn't got any... he's Scottish.

Attached files

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:50 pm

Clotted cream..... SWOOOON

Lead me to a deck chair!!!!

By the way, on the subject of Scotland, sort of, I heard some interesting music this morning - one of Chopin's lesser known bagpipe works. I was scratching my head a bit while me feet were twitching to do a wee highland fling the noo, when it struck me that we've changed months, at least we have in Australia.... :sneaky:

Attached files

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:56 pm

G#Gill;1300780 wrote: Nah.................. The Aussies are playing cricket, and the Americans are playing baseball ! :yh_rotfl

The Canadians are playin hockey!:yh_rotfl

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 12:42 am

Kathy Ellen;1300938 wrote: :wah:We'll save a chair for him if he brings his manners.

Oh, I do love scones with raspberry jam...don't think I've tasted clotted cream, but it sounds yummy.

posted by kathy ellen

He hasn't got any... he's Scottish.

These constant racist jibes are getting a bit wearing you know. You get used to the english having an inferiority complex about, well, being english, but that of the americans seems to be getting worse.

Funny thing though it's almost as if they feel they have to apologise for being american and claim to be something else. Irish ameican, african american, german american, swedish american, chinese american, mexican american but they never ever, ever, say english american. I suppose it would be a double negative and really depressing. Why are there so few willing to say I'm an american american and I don't give a **** what foreigners think?:sneaky:

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:22 am

gmc;1301032 wrote: posted by kathy ellen

These constant racist jibes are getting a bit wearing you know. You get used to the english having an inferiority complex about, well, being english, but that of the americans seems to be getting worse.

Funny thing though it's almost as if they feel they have to apologise for being american and claim to be something else. Irish ameican, african american, german american, swedish american, chinese american, mexican american but they never ever, ever, say english american. I suppose it would be a double negative and really depressing. Why are there so few willing to say I'm an american american and I don't give a **** what foreigners think?:sneaky:

Your last 8 words said it all.:p

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:06 am

gmc,

In your post #27 you misquoted me. I did not say that 'he hasn't got any....he's Scottish." I said that you lost your manners. Please don't attribute your comment about 'racist jibes' to me when I never said those words. I've only said positive things about Scotland.

I can't speak for other Americans, only for myself. I am proud to be an American of Irish decent. Why wouldn't I be as my family immigrated to America from Ireland. It's part of my history?

The Americans that I know don't have inferior complexes about being American. We're just proud of our heritage.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:18 am

Kathy Ellen;1301054 wrote: gmc,

In your post #27 you misquoted me. I did not say that 'he hasn't got any....he's Scottish." I said that you lost your manners. Please don't attribute your comment about 'racist jibes' to me when I never said those words. I've only said positive things about Scotland.

I can't speak for other Americans, only for myself. I am proud to be American of Irish decent. Why wouldn't I be as my family immigrated to America from Ireland. It's part of my history?

The Americans that I know don't have inferior complexes about being American. We're just proud of our heritage.

You're right, sorry:o

The Best of British - The American's guide to speaking British...

Irony/sarcasm - The cornerstones of British humour. This is one of the biggest differences between the nations. The sense of humour simply doesn't translate too well.

:-5:-5 never a truer word spoken.

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:33 am

gmc;1301032 wrote: posted by kathy ellen

These constant racist jibes are getting a bit wearing you know. You get used to the english having an inferiority complex about, well, being english, but that of the americans seems to be getting worse.

Funny thing though it's almost as if they feel they have to apologise for being american and claim to be something else. Irish ameican, african american, german american, swedish american, chinese american, mexican american but they never ever, ever, say english american. I suppose it would be a double negative and really depressing. Why are there so few willing to say I'm an american american and I don't give a **** what foreigners think?:sneaky:
OK,

I'm an American American and I don't give a **** what foreigners think?

Ah, I feel better.

How about you?

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:43 am

I've had delicious food in all countries mentioned and good and bad lovers from all. Well, now that I think about it, maybe there were no bad Italian lovers.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 12:35 pm

gmc;1301032 wrote: posted by kathy ellen

These constant racist jibes are getting a bit wearing you know. You get used to the english having an inferiority complex about, well, being english, but that of the americans seems to be getting worse.

: Are you going all sensitive now my little sporran?

Funny eh? Your the first to put down the Americans and the first to critise the ENGLISH Government. You litter this forum with your remarks but tell me not to take offence because It's only sarcasm. Yet when I do the same to you, You turn Into a big girls blouse. If you can't take It, then don't dish It out. Any further sarcasm from you will result In my hunting you down In Fife and taking you outside for a fight.

AND... Anyway... You know how dull your life would be without me. You love me but just won't admit It. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl