In Comparison...

[koan]

If you were one of a hundred people polled (and all answered honestly) how many, if any, do you think would have a more satisfying life than you?

[AussiePam]

How would you objectify "satisfaction"? If you don't, it may be more a question of worldview, luck in where we're born, mood, temperament? How content are we with our life, vis a vis not just how WE see other people's lives, but somehow how THEY see their lives in order to answer the poll. How can we know how they see their lives?

I'm not trying to be difficult. It's a question I've thought of often. I had to leave the job I liked a few years ago for family reasons, and, as many men struggle with on retirement, I had to relook at how I defined success, how I defined myself, I guess, in terms of what kind of achievement, what physical trappings, work satisfaction etc.

I don't know if happiness exists, and if you've suffered any disasters in your life, and I have, you're never going to be satisfied in that respect. Without the disasters, I'd have been more satisfied. Maybe the question is about the depth of personal disasters suffered by you, vis a vis, the other 99 random people.

I'm basically an optimist and am fortunate that I mostly am upbeat by temperament. And I gather blissful moments and store them away. So maybe the question is about temperament. How many of the random 100 honest people are basically cheerful in disposition? And this would affect how we set our goals, and measure our successes or failures.

[koan]

I think it's an important part of the question to consider how other people would view themselves.

I suppose it ends up being two questions:

1) Do you think other people are more or less successful than you?

and

2) Do you think other people would think they are more successful than you?

Personally, to the first part I'd have to say we all break even as I'm convinced that we are always completely successful at being who we are. To the second part, I think that I expect a larger number of other people to think they are more successful than actually do. The reason for part two is that I've been told a couple of times that someone admired me and wished they could be more like me and I was shocked that they would think I was doing any better than them... so it kinda woke me up to the idea that folks underevaluate themselves, myself included.

[Bruv]

First post mentions satisfaction, the second success, they are not necessarily the same.

[AussiePam]

Bruv;1302394 wrote: First post mentions satisfaction, the second success, they are not necessarily the same.


But they are linked, aren't they, and both subjective? Satisfaction is feeling good about yourself and your life in some way and I wonder if you can ever do that if, at the same time, you consider yourself and your life an abject failure, which does come down to how you measure success.

I'd have to answer your second post, Koan with:

1) Yes in some things. No in others.

2) Probably the same as 1).

There may be some truth in the saying that most men overvalue themselves, and most women undervalue themselves. A matter of confidence and conditioning.

[Ahso!]

koan;1302335 wrote: If you were one of a hundred people polled (and all answered honestly) how many, if any, do you think would have a more satisfying life than you?None!

[spot]

Ahso!;1302403 wrote: None!


You left me out of your sample population, eh?

[Ahso!]

spot;1302404 wrote: You left me out of your sample population, eh?We're equals this time, Spot!

[Bruv]

AussiePam;1302397 wrote: But they are linked, aren't they, and both subjective?


Success is subjective, satisfaction is an inner feeling.

Many 'successful' people are not satisfied.

Many people who would be thought failures by the 'successful' people are extremely satisfied.

Give me satisfaction over success every time.

[koan]

Bruv;1302454 wrote: Success is subjective, satisfaction is an inner feeling.

Many 'successful' people are not satisfied.

Many people who would be thought failures by the 'successful' people are extremely satisfied.

Give me satisfaction over success every time.


No, that's part of why I'm asking the question. imo, people who equate success with material gain have the hardest time being happy. To me, success is acheiving satisfaction.

[AussiePam]

Bruv;1302454 wrote: Success is subjective, satisfaction is an inner feeling.

Many 'successful' people are not satisfied.

Many people who would be thought failures by the 'successful' people are extremely satisfied.

Give me satisfaction over success every time.




All satisfied people are successful people

Not all successful people are satisfied people

-------

No dispute on that.

As Koan notes, it's how you measure success, what you count as success. And this is subjective. So however are your feelings. People have different levels of satisfaction. Like the Chinese boy who bought bread and a flower with his two pennies. He had life, and a reason for living - presumably he was satisfied.

Satisfaction to me, means a state of contentment, relative peace. I understand happiness as something else, and unattainable except fleetingly.

[Bruv]

So we all agree.

Then I am relatively unsuccessful and relatively satisfied......mind you... I am easily pleased.

[buttercup]

koan;1302335 wrote: If you were one of a hundred people polled (and all answered honestly) how many, if any, do you think would have a more satisfying life than you?


None.

[AussiePam]

Would you swap your life for the life of any of the other 99 people in this imaginary poll???

Is this the same question?



To that I would answer a very clear NO.

[Ahso!]

AussiePam;1302513 wrote: Would you swap your life for the life of any of the other 99 people in this imaginary poll???

Is this the same question?



To that I would answer a very clear NO.The question is posed in such a way that leaves much to be assumed or imagined, which is unlike Koan. So I'm wondering whats up and waiting for the other flip-flop to drop..

But I'm happy with my answer.

[koan]

nah, no set up.

it's the variations in interpretation that make for good discussion.

[Nomad]

I think it's an important part of the question to consider how other people would view themselves.



I suppose it ends up being two questions:

1) Do you think other people are more or less successful than you?




I guess Id have to ask what defines success. The interpretation to that might be varied. Is accumulation of money success, health, friends, family, is a long marriage success or is it wisdom, maybe contentment, happiness....my version of success may be very different from anothers.

Since my lifes experiences are individual and personal and the way I percieve them even more unique it would be pointless for me to try to compare them to someone elses.





2) Do you think other people would think they are more successful than you?




I imagine people fall into that kind of thinking about others but it doesnt appear to be based on anything substantial because of my previous explanation. I would poo poo a comment like that if it were made to me.





Personally, to the first part I'd have to say we all break even as I'm convinced that we are always completely successful at being who we are.




Im not so sure about that statement. Based on past thought patterns, behavior or actions, often Ive not been successful at being who I am. Not in the real sense of being my true inner self anyway. Of course Im me but I havent always been the me I could have been, desired to be and many of my actions have been in complete contrast and might be considered utter failure at being who I really am.

You could perhaps say Ive evolved into who I am and in the past I was whom I was then but I reject that on the grounds Ive spent a great deal of my life trying to hide from my own self because I thought that person was unworthy. Turns out I was wrong and wasted too much precious time.

[koan]

One of the things that helped me forgive people who I felt let me down was the idea that everyone does the best they can at all given times. It's not always good enough but it's all they are capable of at the time. I've since extended that to include myself. So, while I think I'm capable of far more than I've achieved I recognise that I've only progressed at a speed that I'm ready for. Even if I'd have wanted more, I can't expect more than was possible.

[Bruv]

Nomad;1302812 wrote: I guess Id have to ask what defines success. The interpretation to that might be varied. Is accumulation of money success, health, friends, family, is a long marriage success or is it wisdom, maybe contentment, happiness....my version of success may be very different from anothers.




That's what I meant to say.