I remember my older brother saying that he stopped going to bars at 19 because he was 6'4 and thin enough that other guys thought they could take him down and it would make them look really cool that they defeated the big guy.
In the last two years, two good friends of mine have had their sons beaten so bad they needed reconstructive surgery.
I've always been one to scoff at the idea that women have it tougher in this world and now I pose the question to others. Why do people think it's harder to be a woman? Most guys I know have scars on their faces by the time they are 20.
Male Rites Of Passage
Male Rites Of Passage
I am 6'4" Koan and when I was in my late teens I was pretty skinny. No one messed with me however because I was able to project the image (false) of being a bad ass.
My scars came when I was 14 & 15 and only 5' 8" or so and thought I could whip the world.
My scars came when I was 14 & 15 and only 5' 8" or so and thought I could whip the world.
Male Rites Of Passage
I am 6'4" Koan and when I was in my late teens I was pretty skinny. No one messed with me however because I was able to project the image (false) of being a bad ass.
My scars came when I was 14 & 15 and only 5' 8" or so and thought I could whip the world. At age 75 I now project a totally different image, but no one messes with me.:wah:
My scars came when I was 14 & 15 and only 5' 8" or so and thought I could whip the world. At age 75 I now project a totally different image, but no one messes with me.:wah:
Male Rites Of Passage
There are specific rites of passage that only men have to go through to become "men" and that's what I'm getting at with this thread. Women can have the crap beaten out of them but it's not considered just 'par for the course' like it is for men learning how to be "manly." I'm horrified. I don't consider this new. I think it's something that men have just not talked about.
Male Rites Of Passage
When my son was 20 years old, he and a pal were attacked in broad daylight in the centre of Nottingham, out of the blue, by a gang of yobs who demanded money. There were a lot of people passing by, who took no notice of their plight, I suppose they didn't want to be involved in case they were attacked too. These yobs took £3.60 and left my son and his pal with bloody noses, cuts and bruises, and my son with cracked ribs! I suppose they got off lightly - they didn't have mobile phones with them. My son is 6 feet tall and broad shouldered, no flab, and his pal was 5' 8" and quite slender. It all happened so quickly that my son had no time to fight them off - there were about 6 of these youths, so he was slightly out-numbered! He did learn one thing that day, that anybody can be attacked at any time, anywhere, for as little as £3.60 ! Even strapping young men ! Perhaps this is a modern day 'rite of passage' for our young men!
Now we have 'girl gangs' who pick on other girls and women, beat them up and steal their bags and cell phones, leaving them with knife, slash wounds - it isn't a male perogative any more, it seems.
I have also heard that in night clubs (disco halls), you should avoid 'looking' at people, as they take exception to it and you could get beaten up - this happened to a nephew of mine. Wonderful world, beautiful people!
I steer clear of town centres now. I think I would be too easy a target, though I would put up a hellova fight, if I ever got attacked - they would not get away without my mark on at least one them!
Now we have 'girl gangs' who pick on other girls and women, beat them up and steal their bags and cell phones, leaving them with knife, slash wounds - it isn't a male perogative any more, it seems.
I have also heard that in night clubs (disco halls), you should avoid 'looking' at people, as they take exception to it and you could get beaten up - this happened to a nephew of mine. Wonderful world, beautiful people!
I steer clear of town centres now. I think I would be too easy a target, though I would put up a hellova fight, if I ever got attacked - they would not get away without my mark on at least one them!
I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully
Male Rites Of Passage
Thank God for our concealed carry permits. Two of my sons have them and do carry.
Male Rites Of Passage
koan;1302833 wrote: There are specific rites of passage that only men have to go through to become "men" and that's what I'm getting at with this thread. Women can have the crap beaten out of them but it's not considered just 'par for the course' like it is for men learning how to be "manly." I'm horrified. I don't consider this new. I think it's something that men have just not talked about.
Sorry------------I just don't believe that there are specific rites of passage that men or women must go through to be womanly or manly.
Sorry------------I just don't believe that there are specific rites of passage that men or women must go through to be womanly or manly.
Male Rites Of Passage
I certainly don't think they should have to go through it either but it appears to be part of our current system.
Male Rites Of Passage
I don't see the examples here, expressing any "rite of passage"
Just a lot of gang activity resulting folks being beaten for no good reason.
Just a lot of gang activity resulting folks being beaten for no good reason.
The home of the soul is the Open Road.
- DH Lawrence
- DH Lawrence
Male Rites Of Passage
koan;1302995 wrote: I certainly don't think they should have to go through it either but it appears to be part of our current system.
Give some examples besides the mano a mano stuff.
Give some examples besides the mano a mano stuff.
Male Rites Of Passage
I'll tell ya what I think a male right of passage is, or should be. It's when you are able to cut the cord from those that have been feeding and housing you and feed, clothe and house yourself. And then, contribute to society via taxation for the benefits that you currently and will continue to benefit from-----schools, highways, libraries, hospitals, parks, etc.
Male Rites Of Passage
koan;1302824 wrote: I remember my older brother saying that he stopped going to bars at 19 because he was 6'4 and thin enough that other guys thought they could take him down and it would make them look really cool that they defeated the big guy.
In the last two years, two good friends of mine have had their sons beaten so bad they needed reconstructive surgery.
I've always been one to scoff at the idea that women have it tougher in this world and now I pose the question to others. Why do people think it's harder to be a woman? Most guys I know have scars on their faces by the time they are 20.
We live in a culture where gratuitous violence is glorified - someone- annoys you just hit them, someone disses or expresses an opinion you disagree with it's Ok to lash out. Violence is a first resort rather than a last.
At it's heart we are all basically apes, think in terms of simian threat displays as two males establish who is dominant. One on one most can handle it when there is a group or you are in one people behave in a way they wouldn't individuals. I've been threatened many times without violence resulting because of the way I responded
posted by lon.
No one messed with me however because I was able to project the image (false) of being a bad ass.
I know exactly what you mean, you learn what non verbal signal to give, it can be as subtle as not stepping back when someone confronts you or just not getting annoyed when someone is trying to provoke. We've all probably been out with a crowd where one of the group is being belligerent, usually because of drink, and the more sober friends will pull him away before he can start a fight.
Women do go through a similar simian experience - just watch a group of teenage girls working out who is leader. or who is not. Or you have to work out how to avoid the unwanted attentions of a male or attract the one you want. Some is instinct the rest you have to learn and be very aware of how you are behaving in strange company. It's all the same - males just tend to violence more than females, it's instinctive to be hostile to males from a different tribe society is us learning to overcome that instinct.
In the last two years, two good friends of mine have had their sons beaten so bad they needed reconstructive surgery.
I've always been one to scoff at the idea that women have it tougher in this world and now I pose the question to others. Why do people think it's harder to be a woman? Most guys I know have scars on their faces by the time they are 20.
We live in a culture where gratuitous violence is glorified - someone- annoys you just hit them, someone disses or expresses an opinion you disagree with it's Ok to lash out. Violence is a first resort rather than a last.
At it's heart we are all basically apes, think in terms of simian threat displays as two males establish who is dominant. One on one most can handle it when there is a group or you are in one people behave in a way they wouldn't individuals. I've been threatened many times without violence resulting because of the way I responded
posted by lon.
No one messed with me however because I was able to project the image (false) of being a bad ass.
I know exactly what you mean, you learn what non verbal signal to give, it can be as subtle as not stepping back when someone confronts you or just not getting annoyed when someone is trying to provoke. We've all probably been out with a crowd where one of the group is being belligerent, usually because of drink, and the more sober friends will pull him away before he can start a fight.
Women do go through a similar simian experience - just watch a group of teenage girls working out who is leader. or who is not. Or you have to work out how to avoid the unwanted attentions of a male or attract the one you want. Some is instinct the rest you have to learn and be very aware of how you are behaving in strange company. It's all the same - males just tend to violence more than females, it's instinctive to be hostile to males from a different tribe society is us learning to overcome that instinct.
Male Rites Of Passage
Its the hardest road one can travel in life. Its our cross to bear, but we do it because it must be done. Would we rather be women? Hell yes we would. Frilly dresses adorned with lace, pampering pedicures, the most difficult task being picking out silverware patterns and paint colors would be a most welcome way of life.
But the world must move forward, new dawns are to be conquered, ideas manifested and the weak protected.
Women, rest yourselves under the cloud of mans services and sacrifice in the name of honor.
Alas I myself must feed the cat now. I do it because it must be so.
But the world must move forward, new dawns are to be conquered, ideas manifested and the weak protected.
Women, rest yourselves under the cloud of mans services and sacrifice in the name of honor.
Alas I myself must feed the cat now. I do it because it must be so.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Male Rites Of Passage
Nomad;1303038 wrote: Its the hardest road one can travel in life. Its our cross to bear, but we do it because it must be done. Would we rather be women? Hell yes we would. Frilly dresses adorned with lace, pampering pedicures, the most difficult task being picking out silverware patterns and paint colors would be a most welcome way of life.
But the world must move forward, new dawns are to be conquered, ideas manifested and the weak protected.
Women, rest yourselves under the cloud of mans services and sacrifice in the name of honor.
Alas I myself must feed the cat now. I do it because it must be so.
Don't forget to feed the gold fish.
Attached files
But the world must move forward, new dawns are to be conquered, ideas manifested and the weak protected.
Women, rest yourselves under the cloud of mans services and sacrifice in the name of honor.
Alas I myself must feed the cat now. I do it because it must be so.
Don't forget to feed the gold fish.
Attached files
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along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Male Rites Of Passage
Read this article I found on Rites of Passage:
Process of Socialization: Rites of Passage
Rites of Passage for both male and female can be quite painful in many cultures.
What do you think?
Process of Socialization: Rites of Passage
Rites of Passage for both male and female can be quite painful in many cultures.
What do you think?
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Male Rites Of Passage
koan;1302833 wrote: There are specific rites of passage that only men have to go through to become "men" and that's what I'm getting at with this thread. Women can have the crap beaten out of them but it's not considered just 'par for the course' like it is for men learning how to be "manly." I'm horrified. I don't consider this new. I think it's something that men have just not talked about.
I personally know the mentality of adolescent boys growing up thinking they need to be physically strong is wrong. If kids grow up thinking this they've quite simply have been misinformed.
What makes a man is his desire to fight when he needs to and to love everyone equivocally by the ability to understand the difference between control and complete and utter "coincidence".
I personally know the mentality of adolescent boys growing up thinking they need to be physically strong is wrong. If kids grow up thinking this they've quite simply have been misinformed.
What makes a man is his desire to fight when he needs to and to love everyone equivocally by the ability to understand the difference between control and complete and utter "coincidence".
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fuzzywuzzy
- Posts: 6596
- Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:35 pm
Male Rites Of Passage
This is very strange to me (about the getting beaten up as a right of passage ...I don't bleieve this).......My fifteen year old recently decided to play footy for another club. I knew what he was going to go through in the sense of pressure from his last club. . Well, one night we went off to training for his new club and he signed his next twelve months away of his life. .............then afterwards we had to pass the old club on our way home .
I pulled over and told him "You have to be a man about this, I know how difficult this was to choose but now you have to tell your coach what you've done." the poor boy was mortified. He said " they'll know when they get the release forms"........now I was mortified.
I told him it was the cowards way out and that he had to tell his coach the truth before he found out via a computer transcript. He nodded, and got out of the car and talked to his coach. .........I watched, and saw the hand and arm expressions of his coach in the middle of the field, obviously not a pleasant conversation , meanwhile I was on the sidelines talking to a man that wanted to know what was so serious and up with my son.......(who I found out later was the president of the club guess who joined in the conversation on the field) ...my 15 year old was totally under pressure and I thought I should go out and stop the conversation ...I was told .."NO, let him be".
The proudest moment of my life for him was at this moment because he had gone through a right of passage ...if you play with the big boys and you keep your integrity that is what makes you a man ...not a fist fight , not hiding from your own decisions .
My son was very quiet when he got into the car until I told him I was very very proud of him. Not because of his decisions but the fact he confronted them as a gentleman. Being a man is not easy but he just took that passage of right. I was almost teary.
and unlike most mums I got to witness it.
The coach understood (sort of) and the boy was invited back for next season.
Since that day he has had others who have told him their opinions...he knows how to deal with them now. He didn't run, he confronted the situation ...Now that is manly. Something I respect deeply.
If you told my eldest boy that his scars was a "right of passage ...he'd laugh at you.......citing that being attacked is a crime not a right of passage. Calling violence or intimidation as a 'right of passage' is accepting that behaviour.
Anyone who doesn't have 'rights ' is always going to be in a harder situation ...Yes it's hard to be female because as much as commercially we are told we have all the rights ...it's a myth ...women have given up we are still fighting and we won't see another womens lib for a little while yet. because we are being sucked in ....women have not worked so hard and have worn many hets since the 70's..we are sooo behind in pay it's criminal
I pulled over and told him "You have to be a man about this, I know how difficult this was to choose but now you have to tell your coach what you've done." the poor boy was mortified. He said " they'll know when they get the release forms"........now I was mortified.
I told him it was the cowards way out and that he had to tell his coach the truth before he found out via a computer transcript. He nodded, and got out of the car and talked to his coach. .........I watched, and saw the hand and arm expressions of his coach in the middle of the field, obviously not a pleasant conversation , meanwhile I was on the sidelines talking to a man that wanted to know what was so serious and up with my son.......(who I found out later was the president of the club guess who joined in the conversation on the field) ...my 15 year old was totally under pressure and I thought I should go out and stop the conversation ...I was told .."NO, let him be".
The proudest moment of my life for him was at this moment because he had gone through a right of passage ...if you play with the big boys and you keep your integrity that is what makes you a man ...not a fist fight , not hiding from your own decisions .
My son was very quiet when he got into the car until I told him I was very very proud of him. Not because of his decisions but the fact he confronted them as a gentleman. Being a man is not easy but he just took that passage of right. I was almost teary.
and unlike most mums I got to witness it.The coach understood (sort of) and the boy was invited back for next season.
Since that day he has had others who have told him their opinions...he knows how to deal with them now. He didn't run, he confronted the situation ...Now that is manly. Something I respect deeply.
If you told my eldest boy that his scars was a "right of passage ...he'd laugh at you.......citing that being attacked is a crime not a right of passage. Calling violence or intimidation as a 'right of passage' is accepting that behaviour.
Anyone who doesn't have 'rights ' is always going to be in a harder situation ...Yes it's hard to be female because as much as commercially we are told we have all the rights ...it's a myth ...women have given up we are still fighting and we won't see another womens lib for a little while yet. because we are being sucked in ....women have not worked so hard and have worn many hets since the 70's..we are sooo behind in pay it's criminal