How do I put this delicately?

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:03 pm

I'm not sure I can, but please note I intend not to offend anyone . I'm not even sure if this should go into bizzarre news stories ....this is not a sexual thread albeit it does have something to do with an appendage .

Okay I was invited to a BBQ last night ...well more like a bon fire kind of thing really.

Whilst there, I was hearing two names being called out . but it was for the same man .

So I asked why this man was called Budgie....the responce was "cause his dad's name was cockatoo"..... Okay, I think to my self ...but why do you call him 'Donks' as well? next minute a bloke calls out to 'Donks' ...Show the lady why you're called Donks.

OMG!!!!! i had a man standing in front of me with his appendage hanging out of his pants. Now usually I'm a prude when it comes to public displays of nudity . But I just stared ...I didn't mean to I just couldn't believe what I was seeing . I even didn't believe it enough for me tolook for some kind of artificial extension or something . I almost choked up my drink....(not sure whether it was because of what I was seeing or the fact that someone would have the audacity to drop their pants in front of me like that . I was speechless...yes that's right fuzzy was rendered speechless.

Strangely though I became very clinical about it all. What resulted was a very interesting conversation with the man (after he zipped himself up and the others stopped laughing) I actually asked questions. You know the way you hear about legendary stuff but you think it's just a myth so you sceptically enquire. I always thought that about John Holmes....thought it was fake. I now of course stand corrected.

You know all those sayings, like do you faint when you get an erection etc etc ...well I asked all those questions, ashamedly . But hey !!! i was in a bit of shock. But what was very interesting was I said you must be a popular gentleman ... his responce actually left me feeling sorry for him . No, he wasn't popular with the ladies because they see it and thinking he's going to tear them apart so always decline the offer of intercourse. He also said he hurts women so intercourse is not an option. I thought about it and I suppose in a sense it is a deformity.

So it's true ......you really do learn something everyday.......sometimes in the most bizzarre of places and ways .

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:29 pm

I wish you had gotten a photo.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:35 pm

You don't need one ...and yes after our conversation he did allow me to ummm measure it, he said it was four hands ...which I'm thinking is how you measure a horse, but it's true, it was four and a half of 'my' hands....and NO I wasn't performing anything ...Like I said it was a very clinical conversation . So another words make the sign language sign for 'B' in the alphabet and double it. I would estimate about one and half inches thick...............poor bugger.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:42 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1368320 wrote: You don't need one ...and yes after our conversation he did allow me to ummm measure it, he said it was four hands ...which I'm thinking is how you measure a horse, but it's true, it was four and a half of 'my' hands....and NO I wasn't performing anything ...Like I said it was a very clinical conversation . So another words make the sign language sign for 'B' in the alphabet and double it. I would estimate about one and half inches thick...............poor bugger.

There were two brothers in my wife's village, Dink and Donk - I'd wondered how they got their nicknames

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:47 pm

Oh Bryn ...I'm not joking here ..I honestly feel sorry for the man . it's like when porn puts women on display because they have extremely large breasts ....but no one ever mentions the severe back problems they have .

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:58 pm

Well fuzzywuzzy that is interesting

I would have stared at it as well. :yh_ooooo

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:24 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1368323 wrote: Oh Bryn ...I'm not joking here ..I honestly feel sorry for the man . it's like when porn puts women on display because they have extremely large breasts ....but no one ever mentions the severe back problems they have .

I do see the problem and I'm glad I don't share it. I had always assumed that the photo's one sees were all photoshopped but maybe not.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:39 pm

Yes, it maybe so in some instances but I've known three women who have had breast reductions (which I put to this man) I asked if he would ever consider having surgery and he said no.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 7:10 pm

I am recovering from Bi-Lateral Inguinal Hernia's Surgery and am in the process of nursing GONADS the size of baseballs. The rest of the JEWELS have remained of normal size however. :wah:

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 7:14 pm

Iv'e seen the size of scrotums after vasectomys ....doesn't look pleasant at all. And I'm tipping it doesn't feel too pleasant either.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:01 pm

Lon;1368343 wrote: I am recovering from Bi-Lateral Inguinal Hernia's Surgery and am in the process of nursing GONADS the size of baseballs. The rest of the JEWELS have remained of normal size however. :wah:

I thought I"d look it up ......OWH OWH OWH OWH OWH OWH OHW !!!!!!!

you have my sympathies..... Inguinal hernia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:52 pm

Fuzzy, was the reaction from the other females at the barbecue similar to yours as this person went about exposing himself? Did everyone do their own measuring or was yours made official?

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:39 am

Obviously you're not accustomed to what I live with ....so be it but don't ask stupid questions. I'm sorry your world is so insular .

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:43 am

Ahso!;1368522 wrote: Fuzzy, was the reaction from the other females at the barbecue similar to yours as this person went about exposing himself? Did everyone do their own measuring or was yours made official?

See this is what I can't stand about you ....you want to know if I was alone at an all male occasion ..no I wasn't and their reaction (the women) is none of your business . And nobody 'went around' exposing themselves . And as far as I could tell everyone was well aware of this mans appendage . I was the one who was new to it.

Now stop being a ****ing ******** . do not display your own ignorance by inferring others are ignorant.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:08 am

Actually I'll make it easier for you ...what were you picturing when I put this thread up ...what was in YOUR head .

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 5:24 am

fuzzywuzzy;1368546 wrote: Actually I'll make it easier for you ...what were you picturing when I put this thread up ...what was in YOUR head .Well, since you ask.

I think the first thought I had was (sorry, it wasn't shock and awe) imagining one of my daughters in the company of people who thought they had the freedom to encourage a man to expose himself to them and then playing along. At that point I realized I'm confident they would not put themselves in that situation, rather they would be in the company of adults who behave as adults enjoying adult conversation and not acting like a bunch adolescents. You all are how old? Your group is still talking penis size? Those are rhetorical questions, FYI.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:10 am

fuzzywuzzy;1368543 wrote: and their reaction (the women) is none of your business .Really? It seems to be a legitimate question, but perhaps that's just me.

I had this picture of a low budget movie where there are a few teenage girls sitting around the high school lunch table as one tells this story. Eventually you get to the part where you turn around to be taken back by this man's huge "appendage" staring you in the face and the other girls at the table gasp as they put their hands up to their mouths and one says: "OMG! What did the ladies do?"

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:49 pm

WOAH!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!! JUDGEMENT CALL ALERT!!!! JUDGEMENT CALL ALERT!!!!!

Considering all were between 40 and 60 . Apparently pulling a joke on someone is adolescent?? Well if your grown daughter cannot handle herself in any given situation then that's your fault. And it's plain to see how your mind works . Maybe if you stopped thinking of teenage girls at high school you'd get a decent grasp of reality. And you seem to have a concise view of what a lady is. I'm a lucky human being, I can congregate with all walks of life and people .....pity you see some as below you because you see some kind of construct of what people 'should' be around you .....that's sad for you .

Put on a pot of tea and get your knitting out Ahso.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:20 pm

Don't be so hurt, Fuzzy. You asked me a question and I answered it, that's all. I'm not judging you though I am questioning your judgment and explaining to you that my grown daughters make very different choices and decisions than you do. I never said my daughters couldn't handle themselves, on the contrary, I said they can handle themselves so well that they'd remain clear of the kind of 40 to 60 year olds you've described.

If you want to make the case that this behavior you've described is normal for people in Australia then all I can say is I'd prefer not to live there, and if I did I'd find different friends, but that's just me.

Now, fuzzy, please tell me there was no or little alcohol involved in this fiasco.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:20 pm

Oh, and BTW, what's wrong with knitting?

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:32 pm

You hurt me???? Now that's just too funny . Have you patronized me ..yes ...are you being insolent? ...yes ...

Funny you know because the most grotesque experience of my life happened in america performed by 6 of your supposed finest citizens . The other night I saw one penis .....I saw six in your country, again at a BBQ. Interesting .

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:45 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1368733 wrote: You hurt me???? Now that's just too funny . Have you patronized me ..yes ...are you being insolent? ...yes ...

Funny you know because the most grotesque experience of my life happened in america performed by 6 of your supposed finest citizens . The other night I saw one penis .....I saw six in your country, again at a BBQ. Interesting .We're wondering what happened to you in America.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:49 pm

No, you are ......go ruin someone elses thread .....go pick on somone else .....you bore me.

Only you could turn a joke into an anti-experience .....Happy now ???

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:59 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1368740 wrote: No, you are ......go ruin someone elses thread .....go pick on somone else .....you bore me.

Only you could turn a joke into an anti-experience .....Happy now ???Actually, my wife asked first so i typed it. You brought it up. You started a thread and are becoming upset simply because one person is asking you to clarify a few things in your story and raising some issues you didn't expect, that happens sometimes, you know.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:02 pm

WHY!!!! in god's name would somone make a non serious thread into a serious one??? why would you do that ....there is something very wrong with you . I don't have to clarify anything to you . !!!!!!! I know you are sitting htere with a grin on your face ...you're dispicable!!!!

thread closed thanks for ruining my thread and my day