Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Both groups are vulnerable and need special care. And yet there are so many reports on the failures in our care of the elderly.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
No thoughts on this subject, Theia?
“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities,â€
Voltaire
I have only one thing to do and that's
Be the wave that I am and then
Sink back into the ocean
Fiona Apple
Voltaire
I have only one thing to do and that's
Be the wave that I am and then
Sink back into the ocean
Fiona Apple
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
For some strange reason, our society seems to worship youth and old age is something to be avoided if at all possible. Maybe elderly neglect is us trying to sweep them under the carpet?
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Oscar Namechange
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
theia;1375898 wrote: Both groups are vulnerable and need special care. And yet there are so many reports on the failures in our care of the elderly. I agree both need special care but It's duration of the care needed that's the Issue and the numbers Involved.
It's really a case of statistics and numbers. The birth rate of the UK has been around the 1.9 mark. That's two people having one or two children within their lifetime. The number of our population over the age of 65, Is 10 million.
So assuming that over 65's are the most likely to need health care, the number far outweighs the number of births.
A Parliamentary report showed In 2008 there were 3.2 people of working age for every person of pensionable age. This ratio Is projected to fall to 2.8 by 2033.
If the birth rate does not Increase to at least 2.3 there will simply be more pensioners than working adults.
Once a baby Is safely born and healthy, the aftercare In the early months Is down to community nursing and local G.P's. There are far less new borns to attend to than elderly.
The NHS does have appalling standards of care for our elderly I agree but It is the sheer numbers over say, 65 that Is the burden on the NHS.
It's really a case of statistics and numbers. The birth rate of the UK has been around the 1.9 mark. That's two people having one or two children within their lifetime. The number of our population over the age of 65, Is 10 million.
So assuming that over 65's are the most likely to need health care, the number far outweighs the number of births.
A Parliamentary report showed In 2008 there were 3.2 people of working age for every person of pensionable age. This ratio Is projected to fall to 2.8 by 2033.
If the birth rate does not Increase to at least 2.3 there will simply be more pensioners than working adults.
Once a baby Is safely born and healthy, the aftercare In the early months Is down to community nursing and local G.P's. There are far less new borns to attend to than elderly.
The NHS does have appalling standards of care for our elderly I agree but It is the sheer numbers over say, 65 that Is the burden on the NHS.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
theia;1375898 wrote: Both groups are vulnerable and need special care. And yet there are so many reports on the failures in our care of the elderly.
I think because it's embarrassing for family members sometimes.
For example: when babies poo themselves it's acceptable. When it's your grandma, family members (especially) feel embarrassed.
Like my grandma, she has advanced altzeimers. When my dad and I brought her over for a visit to Holland (she lives in England) we went by car. Obviously you must stop sometimes to use the toilet. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the toilets. Before she got to the toilets she was already lifting her skirt and pulling underwear down!
Having to pull up grandma's underwear in public is quite embarrassing.. But you get on with it (or at least I did).
Babies pooping themselves is "cute" or at least acceptable when it's an older person people cannot deal with it and neglect them.
I think because it's embarrassing for family members sometimes.
For example: when babies poo themselves it's acceptable. When it's your grandma, family members (especially) feel embarrassed.
Like my grandma, she has advanced altzeimers. When my dad and I brought her over for a visit to Holland (she lives in England) we went by car. Obviously you must stop sometimes to use the toilet. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the toilets. Before she got to the toilets she was already lifting her skirt and pulling underwear down!
Having to pull up grandma's underwear in public is quite embarrassing.. But you get on with it (or at least I did).
Babies pooping themselves is "cute" or at least acceptable when it's an older person people cannot deal with it and neglect them.
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Chloe_88;1375922 wrote: I think because it's embarrassing for family members sometimes.
For example: when babies poo themselves it's acceptable. When it's your grandma, family members (especially) feel embarrassed.
Like my grandma, she has advanced altzeimers. When my dad and I brought her over for a visit to Holland (she lives in England) we went by car. Obviously you must stop sometimes to use the toilet. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the toilets. Before she got to the toilets she was already lifting her skirt and pulling underwear down!
Having to pull up grandma's underwear in public is quite embarrassing.. But you get on with it (or at least I did).
Babies pooping themselves is "cute" or at least acceptable when it's an older person people cannot deal with it and neglect them.
It's strange that you should say that, Chloe...Betty and I were talking about the very same thing earlier this evening, as in, what's the difference between changing a baby's nappy and changing an elderly person's continence pad.
If I think about the embarrassment factor and apply it to the baby/young child or an older person, the former is unlikely to feel embarrassed and yet the older person may feel acutely embarrassed. It's a family joke with my children and grandchildren as to who is willing to change my incontinence pad if needs be when I'm older. The only one who wanted to was my 19 month old granddaughter who said yes, when asked, though, of course she didn't understand what was being said. And, as for me, I don't want anybody involved in my personal care!
For example: when babies poo themselves it's acceptable. When it's your grandma, family members (especially) feel embarrassed.
Like my grandma, she has advanced altzeimers. When my dad and I brought her over for a visit to Holland (she lives in England) we went by car. Obviously you must stop sometimes to use the toilet. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the toilets. Before she got to the toilets she was already lifting her skirt and pulling underwear down!
Having to pull up grandma's underwear in public is quite embarrassing.. But you get on with it (or at least I did).
Babies pooping themselves is "cute" or at least acceptable when it's an older person people cannot deal with it and neglect them.
It's strange that you should say that, Chloe...Betty and I were talking about the very same thing earlier this evening, as in, what's the difference between changing a baby's nappy and changing an elderly person's continence pad.
If I think about the embarrassment factor and apply it to the baby/young child or an older person, the former is unlikely to feel embarrassed and yet the older person may feel acutely embarrassed. It's a family joke with my children and grandchildren as to who is willing to change my incontinence pad if needs be when I'm older. The only one who wanted to was my 19 month old granddaughter who said yes, when asked, though, of course she didn't understand what was being said. And, as for me, I don't want anybody involved in my personal care!
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
SnoozeAgain;1375906 wrote: For some strange reason, our society seems to worship youth and old age is something to be avoided if at all possible. Maybe elderly neglect is us trying to sweep them under the carpet?
That could well be true, Snooze. At 62, I sense that I am becoming increasingly invisible to wider society, although it's different with family and friends and work colleagues.
That could well be true, Snooze. At 62, I sense that I am becoming increasingly invisible to wider society, although it's different with family and friends and work colleagues.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
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Betty Boop
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
oscar;1375907 wrote: I agree both need special care but It's duration of the care needed that's the Issue and the numbers Involved.
It's really a case of statistics and numbers. The birth rate of the UK has been around the 1.9 mark. That's two people having one or two children within their lifetime. The number of our population over the age of 65, Is 10 million.
So assuming that over 65's are the most likely to need health care, the number far outweighs the number of births.
A Parliamentary report showed In 2008 there were 3.2 people of working age for every person of pensionable age. This ratio Is projected to fall to 2.8 by 2033.
If the birth rate does not Increase to at least 2.3 there will simply be more pensioners than working adults.
Once a baby Is safely born and healthy, the aftercare In the early months Is down to community nursing and local G.P's. There are far less new borns to attend to than elderly.
The NHS does have appalling standards of care for our elderly I agree but It is the sheer numbers over say, 65 that Is the burden on the NHS.
Isn't that a bit young to be considered 'elderly' ?
It's really a case of statistics and numbers. The birth rate of the UK has been around the 1.9 mark. That's two people having one or two children within their lifetime. The number of our population over the age of 65, Is 10 million.
So assuming that over 65's are the most likely to need health care, the number far outweighs the number of births.
A Parliamentary report showed In 2008 there were 3.2 people of working age for every person of pensionable age. This ratio Is projected to fall to 2.8 by 2033.
If the birth rate does not Increase to at least 2.3 there will simply be more pensioners than working adults.
Once a baby Is safely born and healthy, the aftercare In the early months Is down to community nursing and local G.P's. There are far less new borns to attend to than elderly.
The NHS does have appalling standards of care for our elderly I agree but It is the sheer numbers over say, 65 that Is the burden on the NHS.
Isn't that a bit young to be considered 'elderly' ?
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
oscar;1375907 wrote: I agree both need special care but It's duration of the care needed that's the Issue and the numbers Involved.
It's really a case of statistics and numbers. The birth rate of the UK has been around the 1.9 mark. That's two people having one or two children within their lifetime. The number of our population over the age of 65, Is 10 million.
So assuming that over 65's are the most likely to need health care, the number far outweighs the number of births.
A Parliamentary report showed In 2008 there were 3.2 people of working age for every person of pensionable age. This ratio Is projected to fall to 2.8 by 2033.
If the birth rate does not Increase to at least 2.3 there will simply be more pensioners than working adults.
Once a baby Is safely born and healthy, the aftercare In the early months Is down to community nursing and local G.P's. There are far less new borns to attend to than elderly.
The NHS does have appalling standards of care for our elderly I agree but It is the sheer numbers over say, 65 that Is the burden on the NHS.
I'm wondering if the numbers of elderly people should really influence how we care for them? Maybe they do, although, if we truly cared for people, regardless of age, the numbers would be irrelevant.
It's really a case of statistics and numbers. The birth rate of the UK has been around the 1.9 mark. That's two people having one or two children within their lifetime. The number of our population over the age of 65, Is 10 million.
So assuming that over 65's are the most likely to need health care, the number far outweighs the number of births.
A Parliamentary report showed In 2008 there were 3.2 people of working age for every person of pensionable age. This ratio Is projected to fall to 2.8 by 2033.
If the birth rate does not Increase to at least 2.3 there will simply be more pensioners than working adults.
Once a baby Is safely born and healthy, the aftercare In the early months Is down to community nursing and local G.P's. There are far less new borns to attend to than elderly.
The NHS does have appalling standards of care for our elderly I agree but It is the sheer numbers over say, 65 that Is the burden on the NHS.
I'm wondering if the numbers of elderly people should really influence how we care for them? Maybe they do, although, if we truly cared for people, regardless of age, the numbers would be irrelevant.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
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Betty Boop
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Chloe_88;1375922 wrote: I think because it's embarrassing for family members sometimes.
For example: when babies poo themselves it's acceptable. When it's your grandma, family members (especially) feel embarrassed.
Like my grandma, she has advanced altzeimers. When my dad and I brought her over for a visit to Holland (she lives in England) we went by car. Obviously you must stop sometimes to use the toilet. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the toilets. Before she got to the toilets she was already lifting her skirt and pulling underwear down!
Having to pull up grandma's underwear in public is quite embarrassing.. But you get on with it (or at least I did).
Babies pooping themselves is "cute" or at least acceptable when it's an older person people cannot deal with it and neglect them.
That's uncanny, as Theia said, we just discussed this this evening :-2
It is interesting that we don't think twice about personal care for a baby but for the elderly most of us would avoid it. My gran wouldn't allow any of us to do any of it for her, she also refused to come and live with one of her daughters so that she could be looked after. Do the elderly have more choice nowadays - at a price most of the time, years ago families would have just looked after their elderly as a matter of course, there wouldn't have been residential or care homes available.
For example: when babies poo themselves it's acceptable. When it's your grandma, family members (especially) feel embarrassed.
Like my grandma, she has advanced altzeimers. When my dad and I brought her over for a visit to Holland (she lives in England) we went by car. Obviously you must stop sometimes to use the toilet. I helped her out of the car and walked her to the toilets. Before she got to the toilets she was already lifting her skirt and pulling underwear down!
Having to pull up grandma's underwear in public is quite embarrassing.. But you get on with it (or at least I did).
Babies pooping themselves is "cute" or at least acceptable when it's an older person people cannot deal with it and neglect them.
That's uncanny, as Theia said, we just discussed this this evening :-2
It is interesting that we don't think twice about personal care for a baby but for the elderly most of us would avoid it. My gran wouldn't allow any of us to do any of it for her, she also refused to come and live with one of her daughters so that she could be looked after. Do the elderly have more choice nowadays - at a price most of the time, years ago families would have just looked after their elderly as a matter of course, there wouldn't have been residential or care homes available.
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Oscar Namechange
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Betty Boop;1375933 wrote: Isn't that a bit young to be considered 'elderly' ? It is the age which is considered to be the decline of one's health and mobility.
The projections show that the current 62 million UK population is rising at 0.8% a year and may increase by 4.9 million to 67.2 million by 2020 and to 73 million by 2035.
The statisticians say the oldest age groups are the fastest growing and the number of people over the age of 85 is expected to more than double from 1.4 million now to 3.5 million within 25 years.
The number of people who have celebrated their 100th birthday is set to rise more than eightfold from 13,000 in 2010 to 110,000 in 2035.
The statisticians say the median age of the population is set to rise from 39.7 years in 2010 to 39.9 in 2020 and to 42.2 by 2035.
Theia... When you look at the stats I showed, where the elderly far out number the birth rate, It then comes down to priority and at the moment this countries priorities are a little askew. Governments need to realise these stats and take measures to Increase the NHS to give adequate care to all elderly, not making cuts In the NHS which affects the elderly most.
The projections show that the current 62 million UK population is rising at 0.8% a year and may increase by 4.9 million to 67.2 million by 2020 and to 73 million by 2035.
The statisticians say the oldest age groups are the fastest growing and the number of people over the age of 85 is expected to more than double from 1.4 million now to 3.5 million within 25 years.
The number of people who have celebrated their 100th birthday is set to rise more than eightfold from 13,000 in 2010 to 110,000 in 2035.
The statisticians say the median age of the population is set to rise from 39.7 years in 2010 to 39.9 in 2020 and to 42.2 by 2035.
Theia... When you look at the stats I showed, where the elderly far out number the birth rate, It then comes down to priority and at the moment this countries priorities are a little askew. Governments need to realise these stats and take measures to Increase the NHS to give adequate care to all elderly, not making cuts In the NHS which affects the elderly most.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Betty Boop;1375937 wrote: That's uncanny, as Theia said, we just discussed this this evening :-2
It is interesting that we don't think twice about personal care for a baby but for the elderly most of us would avoid it. My gran wouldn't allow any of us to do any of it for her, she also refused to come and live with one of her daughters so that she could be looked after. Do the elderly have more choice nowadays - at a price most of the time, years ago families would have just looked after their elderly as a matter of course, there wouldn't have been residential or care homes available.
Also I must admit I had less problems changing my niece's nappy then I had pulling my grandma's underwear back up in public.
I think this also had something to do with the fact my grandma has taken care of me when I was a baby and now i'm doing the same for her. Even tough it feels a bit wrong I would still take care of my grandma as she is my grandma and I love her very much + she cannot help it.
It is interesting that we don't think twice about personal care for a baby but for the elderly most of us would avoid it. My gran wouldn't allow any of us to do any of it for her, she also refused to come and live with one of her daughters so that she could be looked after. Do the elderly have more choice nowadays - at a price most of the time, years ago families would have just looked after their elderly as a matter of course, there wouldn't have been residential or care homes available.
Also I must admit I had less problems changing my niece's nappy then I had pulling my grandma's underwear back up in public.
I think this also had something to do with the fact my grandma has taken care of me when I was a baby and now i'm doing the same for her. Even tough it feels a bit wrong I would still take care of my grandma as she is my grandma and I love her very much + she cannot help it.
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Worst experience of my life was when my mother was in the nursing home. I am sure it was even lest fun for her. I could come and go as I wished.
The fear and confusion were palpable. And most of the staff were really only there to collect a paycheck.
The fear and confusion were palpable. And most of the staff were really only there to collect a paycheck.
The home of the soul is the Open Road.
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Betty Boop
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
There are not just cuts on the NHS to the elderly though.
Having had my third baby there are vast changes now to nine years ago. You get one visit from your community midwife after a normal birth, a few more if you've had a caesarian. If you've had a caesarian you are also expected to inject yourself once daily in the stomach once you're back at home, there is no provision for a community nurse to call if you feel you can't manage this, you have to get someone else in your household to do it if you can't. After the midwife signs you off you are entitled to one home visit from the health visitor, unless of course she picks up signs in that one short visit that all is not well! I thought this low amount of visits was because I am a third time mother, but no, it's across the board so at a guess there's a lot of post natal depression going un-noticed.
At the baby weigh in clinics there is rarely a fully trained health visitor to be seen, the weighing is done by their assistants who then report back to them.
There are cutbacks all around intermingled with the fact that the birth rate is going up as is the length of life, people are living longer and therefore costing the NHS more.
Having had my third baby there are vast changes now to nine years ago. You get one visit from your community midwife after a normal birth, a few more if you've had a caesarian. If you've had a caesarian you are also expected to inject yourself once daily in the stomach once you're back at home, there is no provision for a community nurse to call if you feel you can't manage this, you have to get someone else in your household to do it if you can't. After the midwife signs you off you are entitled to one home visit from the health visitor, unless of course she picks up signs in that one short visit that all is not well! I thought this low amount of visits was because I am a third time mother, but no, it's across the board so at a guess there's a lot of post natal depression going un-noticed.
At the baby weigh in clinics there is rarely a fully trained health visitor to be seen, the weighing is done by their assistants who then report back to them.
There are cutbacks all around intermingled with the fact that the birth rate is going up as is the length of life, people are living longer and therefore costing the NHS more.
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Betty Boop
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
LarsMac;1375949 wrote: Worst experience of my life was when my mother was in the nursing home. I am sure it was even lest fun for her. I could come and go as I wished.
The fear and confusion were palpable. And most of the staff were really only there to collect a paycheck.
And I bet the pay is a pittance, maybe if the wages were better people would care more. But then again, maybe not.
You hear young girls wanting to train to be a nanny, or joining an aupair abroad scheme so that they can work with children, but you never hear them claiming they'd love to go and care for the elderly.
The fear and confusion were palpable. And most of the staff were really only there to collect a paycheck.
And I bet the pay is a pittance, maybe if the wages were better people would care more. But then again, maybe not.
You hear young girls wanting to train to be a nanny, or joining an aupair abroad scheme so that they can work with children, but you never hear them claiming they'd love to go and care for the elderly.
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
The cruel reality is that,babies are normally the planned product of younger couples, who are ready to adapt and learn.
The elderly are an unplanned interference in the lives of their settled and otherwise occupied aging children.
The elderly are an unplanned interference in the lives of their settled and otherwise occupied aging children.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Bruv;1375962 wrote: The cruel reality is that,babies are normally the planned product of younger couples, who are ready to adapt and learn.
The elderly are an unplanned interference in the lives of their settled and otherwise occupied aging children.
mm i do agree in a way.. but i must say over here a lot of couples have babies at a later age. a fair amout are in their 40's. Now no offence to anybody but in my opinion: I dont really want kids, but if it happens it must before i'm 30. If it doesn't happen before then, it's tough, over 30 is just to old for me.
i just couldn't imagine running around after a kid at 40. Well to be honest i'll be 23 in a few days and feel more dead then alive most mornings already! :wah:
The elderly are an unplanned interference in the lives of their settled and otherwise occupied aging children.
mm i do agree in a way.. but i must say over here a lot of couples have babies at a later age. a fair amout are in their 40's. Now no offence to anybody but in my opinion: I dont really want kids, but if it happens it must before i'm 30. If it doesn't happen before then, it's tough, over 30 is just to old for me.
i just couldn't imagine running around after a kid at 40. Well to be honest i'll be 23 in a few days and feel more dead then alive most mornings already! :wah:
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WonderWendy3
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
I have been a care-giver for an elderly couple and my heart broke for them because of the neglect from their family members. They are off living their lives and they are "fending" for themselves. He is 95 and is bed bound and she is 84 and in poor health. I loved taking care of them if for no other reason...because they appreciated me!
I also at the same time have a relative in a nursing home and while she seems to be taken care of....I would have a hard time letting my mom stay in a facility for over 3 years to be honest. I know that changing an adult diaper of a loved one is not desirable, but they need us in their time of need. I would so be there for them.
I also at the same time have a relative in a nursing home and while she seems to be taken care of....I would have a hard time letting my mom stay in a facility for over 3 years to be honest. I know that changing an adult diaper of a loved one is not desirable, but they need us in their time of need. I would so be there for them.
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
I'm not convinced "we" care about anyone. Until the only insurance we need in this life is "love thy neighbour" we live in a society where fear is money and values are dictated by those who want funding.
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WonderWendy3
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
koan;1375983 wrote: I'm not convinced "we" care about anyone. Until the only insurance we need in this life is "love thy neighbour" we live in a society where fear is money and values are dictated by those who want funding.
I have to agree with you....people care much more about the almighty dollar than they do Grandma anymore. I would give anything to have my grandparents here and to take care of them. We are a selfish society for sure.
I have to agree with you....people care much more about the almighty dollar than they do Grandma anymore. I would give anything to have my grandparents here and to take care of them. We are a selfish society for sure.
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
An observation concerning the differences between Western and African culture.
My African wife was surprised our elderly were cared for outside the family, even in England her children often drop off a couple of bags of groceries, just because they can.
She has no fears of ending up 'in care' she knows any of her kids would welcome her into their home when she needs it, and care for her like she cared for them.
Strange enough many of her countrymen and women are employed in the 'care' industry in the UK, partly because it's an easy placement and not a lot of English want the work.
My African wife was surprised our elderly were cared for outside the family, even in England her children often drop off a couple of bags of groceries, just because they can.
She has no fears of ending up 'in care' she knows any of her kids would welcome her into their home when she needs it, and care for her like she cared for them.
Strange enough many of her countrymen and women are employed in the 'care' industry in the UK, partly because it's an easy placement and not a lot of English want the work.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Except for those with critical illnesses, most babies are considerably easier to care for than the elderly. You're watching them thrive, grow, learn, become their own people. By and large, it's a joy. Not so with the elderly. You see the process in reverse, you see people you love going downhill, losing physical health and in cases of dementia, seeing them lose themselves in muddled and confused minds.
Many people don't feel qualified to care for their loved ones once they've reached that state. They're in over their heads and fear mishandling the situation and I'm certain it must take an emotional toll. I don't know that for sure but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Another aspect could be tied in to Chloe_88's post about family versus friends. Not everyone had the same upbringing with a loving family and maybe they don't feel nurturing towards their own elderly simply because they themselves weren't nurtured as they ought to have been in their childhood. Again, I'm just speculating on reasons. When I read Bruv's comments about his wife and her children's attitudes, my first thought was "She must have been a loving mother to her children." They're lucky and she's lucky.
Family dynamics vary in infinite degrees and it's hard to know what really goes on inside a family other than our own. Sometimes even our own are a mystery at times!
Many people don't feel qualified to care for their loved ones once they've reached that state. They're in over their heads and fear mishandling the situation and I'm certain it must take an emotional toll. I don't know that for sure but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Another aspect could be tied in to Chloe_88's post about family versus friends. Not everyone had the same upbringing with a loving family and maybe they don't feel nurturing towards their own elderly simply because they themselves weren't nurtured as they ought to have been in their childhood. Again, I'm just speculating on reasons. When I read Bruv's comments about his wife and her children's attitudes, my first thought was "She must have been a loving mother to her children." They're lucky and she's lucky.
Family dynamics vary in infinite degrees and it's hard to know what really goes on inside a family other than our own. Sometimes even our own are a mystery at times!
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
theia;1375930 wrote: It's strange that you should say that, Chloe...Betty and I were talking about the very same thing earlier this evening, as in, what's the difference between changing a baby's nappy and changing an elderly person's continence pad.
If I think about the embarrassment factor and apply it to the baby/young child or an older person, the former is unlikely to feel embarrassed and yet the older person may feel acutely embarrassed. It's a family joke with my children and grandchildren as to who is willing to change my incontinence pad if needs be when I'm older. The only one who wanted to was my 19 month old granddaughter who said yes, when asked, though, of course she didn't understand what was being said. And, as for me, I don't want anybody involved in my personal care!
Embarrassed over a body function that 100% of the population has? Size is the only difference in a nappy versus continence pad. Poo is poo.
Seriously though..it is totally acceptable and recommended that you do NOT have close family members involved in care. Let your loved ones be watchful over you versus your carers.
If I think about the embarrassment factor and apply it to the baby/young child or an older person, the former is unlikely to feel embarrassed and yet the older person may feel acutely embarrassed. It's a family joke with my children and grandchildren as to who is willing to change my incontinence pad if needs be when I'm older. The only one who wanted to was my 19 month old granddaughter who said yes, when asked, though, of course she didn't understand what was being said. And, as for me, I don't want anybody involved in my personal care!
Embarrassed over a body function that 100% of the population has? Size is the only difference in a nappy versus continence pad. Poo is poo.
Seriously though..it is totally acceptable and recommended that you do NOT have close family members involved in care. Let your loved ones be watchful over you versus your carers.
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Raven;1376080 wrote: Embarrassed over a body function that 100% of the population has? Size is the only difference in a nappy versus continence pad. Poo is poo.
Seriously though..it is totally acceptable and recommended that you do NOT have close family members involved in care. Let your loved ones be watchful over you versus your carers.
Yes, but surely the majority of the population can manage that bodily function for themselves? How different it must feel when, as an adult, you have to depend on someone else to do it for you. And imagine if your "carers" do not treat you with dignity and respect when changing your incontinence pad.
Seriously though..it is totally acceptable and recommended that you do NOT have close family members involved in care. Let your loved ones be watchful over you versus your carers.
Yes, but surely the majority of the population can manage that bodily function for themselves? How different it must feel when, as an adult, you have to depend on someone else to do it for you. And imagine if your "carers" do not treat you with dignity and respect when changing your incontinence pad.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
tabby;1376032 wrote: When I read Bruv's comments about his wife and her children's attitudes, my first thought was "She must have been a loving mother to her children." They're lucky and she's lucky.
It is not isolated to my wife and her kids.
It is a cultural thing, as I understand it.
It is all about the real extended family where any relation is seen as a close member of the family.
I believe we have lost a lot of our 'connections' with family as we have 'advanced', our priorities are different.
Our different lifestyles have a lot to do with it of course.
It is not isolated to my wife and her kids.
It is a cultural thing, as I understand it.
It is all about the real extended family where any relation is seen as a close member of the family.
I believe we have lost a lot of our 'connections' with family as we have 'advanced', our priorities are different.
Our different lifestyles have a lot to do with it of course.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
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Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
From what Bruv said.....
There was a time when you cared for your elderly at home along with your pregnant teenage daughter but society I believe has lost this family way of thinking decades ago.
With my Mother, we had no choice because she was paralysed after a massive stroke but my husbands grandmother was cared for at home until she died at 93 even though she was barking mad.
We live In a me, me, me society now along with a society obsessed with materialism. People need both sets of parents to hold down three jobs just to pay for the house and 4X4 In the drive along with little Johnny's X box. Not only are people out at work all day unable to care for their elderly but also leaving little Johnny to roam the streets becoming an anti-social yob. There Is also an attitude these days that 'The state can pay'. These words are usually spouted by the me, me, me's when they would rather have a loft conversion or conservatory than go without and look after their parents. These are the people who will also spout the words ' She's paid her tax In life, so the government owes her'.. These words are the excuse to cop out of any responsibility towards their elderly parents but they are the first to complain that they had to wait 4 hours In hospital because It was full of old people....
There was a time when you cared for your elderly at home along with your pregnant teenage daughter but society I believe has lost this family way of thinking decades ago.
With my Mother, we had no choice because she was paralysed after a massive stroke but my husbands grandmother was cared for at home until she died at 93 even though she was barking mad.
We live In a me, me, me society now along with a society obsessed with materialism. People need both sets of parents to hold down three jobs just to pay for the house and 4X4 In the drive along with little Johnny's X box. Not only are people out at work all day unable to care for their elderly but also leaving little Johnny to roam the streets becoming an anti-social yob. There Is also an attitude these days that 'The state can pay'. These words are usually spouted by the me, me, me's when they would rather have a loft conversion or conservatory than go without and look after their parents. These are the people who will also spout the words ' She's paid her tax In life, so the government owes her'.. These words are the excuse to cop out of any responsibility towards their elderly parents but they are the first to complain that they had to wait 4 hours In hospital because It was full of old people....
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Bruv;1376091 wrote: It is not isolated to my wife and her kids.
It is a cultural thing, as I understand it.
It is all about the real extended family where any relation is seen as a close member of the family.
I believe we have lost a lot of our 'connections' with family as we have 'advanced', our priorities are different.
Our different lifestyles have a lot to do with it of course.
I did and do understand what you meant about it being a cultural thing but I still think that although cultural background plays a large role, the individual experience will end up mandating actions in the end.
It is a cultural thing, as I understand it.
It is all about the real extended family where any relation is seen as a close member of the family.
I believe we have lost a lot of our 'connections' with family as we have 'advanced', our priorities are different.
Our different lifestyles have a lot to do with it of course.
I did and do understand what you meant about it being a cultural thing but I still think that although cultural background plays a large role, the individual experience will end up mandating actions in the end.
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
theia;1376089 wrote: Yes, but surely the majority of the population can manage that bodily function for themselves? How different it must feel when, as an adult, you have to depend on someone else to do it for you. And imagine if your "carers" do not treat you with dignity and respect when changing your incontinence pad.
You would be suprised at the percentage of people who cannot manage for themselves. Some it is a temporary thing, for others it a permanent state. For those of us who care for them, it is done with utmost dignity and privacy. Just 'another day at the office' so to speak. But the amount of apologising I get is heartbreaking. I can assure you that I for one, take no offence and feel no repugnance in having to assist with this task. It's a fact of life, but noone wishes to be in that condition. For relatives it is more emotionally painful, that is why relatives should leave hygiene tasks to carers. It's part of what we do.
You would be suprised at the percentage of people who cannot manage for themselves. Some it is a temporary thing, for others it a permanent state. For those of us who care for them, it is done with utmost dignity and privacy. Just 'another day at the office' so to speak. But the amount of apologising I get is heartbreaking. I can assure you that I for one, take no offence and feel no repugnance in having to assist with this task. It's a fact of life, but noone wishes to be in that condition. For relatives it is more emotionally painful, that is why relatives should leave hygiene tasks to carers. It's part of what we do.
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Raven;1376561 wrote: You would be suprised at the percentage of people who cannot manage for themselves. Some it is a temporary thing, for others it a permanent state. For those of us who care for them, it is done with utmost dignity and privacy. Just 'another day at the office' so to speak. But the amount of apologising I get is heartbreaking. I can assure you that I for one, take no offence and feel no repugnance in having to assist with this task. It's a fact of life, but noone wishes to be in that condition. For relatives it is more emotionally painful, that is why relatives should leave hygiene tasks to carers. It's part of what we do.
The nursing staff on the eldercare ward where I work as ward clerk have the same attitude as you and really, so they should if they choose to do the job....showing dignity and respect to patients is a basic philosophy of our health services.
But, this said, I still think that it must take a truly massive and painful shift in attitude to accept that one is dependent on others for one's personal care.
The nursing staff on the eldercare ward where I work as ward clerk have the same attitude as you and really, so they should if they choose to do the job....showing dignity and respect to patients is a basic philosophy of our health services.
But, this said, I still think that it must take a truly massive and painful shift in attitude to accept that one is dependent on others for one's personal care.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
The problem is not with the carers attitude to the cared for, it is the indignity of a proud elderly person relying on a stranger for very basic necessities.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Bruv;1376611 wrote: The problem is not with the carers attitude to the cared for, it is the indignity of a proud elderly person relying on a stranger for very basic necessities.
Thank you, Bruv...that's what I was trying, unsuccessfully, to say
Thank you, Bruv...that's what I was trying, unsuccessfully, to say
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
theia;1376617 wrote: Thank you, Bruv...that's what I was trying, unsuccessfully, to say
Praise is due to the carers , not the talkers, like me.
Praise is due to the carers , not the talkers, like me.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Bruv;1376618 wrote: Praise is due to the carers , not the talkers, like me.
And praise is due to those who accept the care...
I used to recruit and train volunteers/staff for a mental health charity. Part of their training was to role play the part of the people they would be supporting...I believe the NHS uses a training video of hospital life from a patient's point of view. I believe it's important to understand that both the carer and the cared for are "giving" something very valuable to the other.
And praise is due to those who accept the care...
I used to recruit and train volunteers/staff for a mental health charity. Part of their training was to role play the part of the people they would be supporting...I believe the NHS uses a training video of hospital life from a patient's point of view. I believe it's important to understand that both the carer and the cared for are "giving" something very valuable to the other.
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Why do we value the care of babies more than the care of the elderly?
Bruv;1376611 wrote: The problem is not with the carers attitude to the cared for, it is the indignity of a proud elderly person relying on a stranger for very basic necessities.
Not just for the elderly either. Imagine if you can, the struggle of a young mind in a body that doesnt work anymore. Say for example..Para or quadrolplegics. MS or some other motor neurone disease. And then there is the trauma induced incontinence. It is exceptionally painful emotionally for them, indeed. I, myself would undoubtedly be embarrassed and apologetic to those who I had to rely on to care for me. But that is part of the caring. To ease the pain and suffering of those cared for in a gentle and dignified manner.
Not just for the elderly either. Imagine if you can, the struggle of a young mind in a body that doesnt work anymore. Say for example..Para or quadrolplegics. MS or some other motor neurone disease. And then there is the trauma induced incontinence. It is exceptionally painful emotionally for them, indeed. I, myself would undoubtedly be embarrassed and apologetic to those who I had to rely on to care for me. But that is part of the caring. To ease the pain and suffering of those cared for in a gentle and dignified manner.
~Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!~