My apologies...

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:10 am

for my extreme happiness lately.

I've just started dating this incredible woman. She blows my mind. We are constantly finding out the most amazing things... like one of our favourite movies in common is an obscure film called "The Ninth Configuration" starring Stacy Keach. I was fortunate enough to work with Mr. Keach and when I told him how much I admire the film his face lit up and he said "Thank you! No one ever mentions that and it was my favourite project."

Whether or not this works out, it's just great to find a kindred soul.

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:15 am

If I may be permitted to admit a weakness, this is the first time I've publicly announced a lesbian relationship. My generation paved the way to openness but my generation was still very vulnerable to abuse for admitting variance from the norm.

FG has not been very gay friendly in the past and I hope to open that barrier. I don't choose who I love. That's why I've always been leery of love. I've always openly admitted I'm bi but never coped with any kind of full on relationship. Last time I tried I ended it abruptly because she started wearing t-shirts with gay slogans on it. I want to believe I'm now free to love whomever I choose.

Whether or not this thread gets a reply, I'd like to think people will be happy for me.

Post by **LarsMac** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:34 am

I am glad for you.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:43 am

I'll tell you the same thing I told the girl who came out to me in high school. Don't expect me to listen to you criticize me liking guys and I'll return the favor.

Although I disagree with t-shirt advertising too.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:23 am

Whether or not this thread gets a reply, I'd like to think people will be happy for me.

Absolutely happy for you, gay/straight/bi not an issue for moi.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:53 am

This thread is so hot.

Congratulations! You deserve the best.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:58 am

Congrats, I know how lesbians feel but I can't seem to wrap my head around the male gay thing. Not that it bothers me. To each their own.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:00 am

koan;1407502 wrote: If I may be permitted to admit a weakness, this is the first time I've publicly announced a lesbian relationship. My generation paved the way to openness but my generation was still very vulnerable to abuse for admitting variance from the norm.

FG has not been very gay friendly in the past and I hope to open that barrier. I don't choose who I love. That's why I've always been leery of love. I've always openly admitted I'm bi but never coped with any kind of full on relationship. Last time I tried I ended it abruptly because she started wearing t-shirts with gay slogans on it. I want to believe I'm now free to love whomever I choose.

Whether or not this thread gets a reply, I'd like to think people will be happy for me.

Happy for you. Can't say I have noticed the forum being gay friendly or otherwise unless it's been some of the more rabid religious posters whose posts I tend to ignore.

One of my favourite lesbians

Rachel Maddow Show

Mind you her sexuality is irrelevant. Can't say I find myself watching TV wondering if someone is gay or not. Quite a few British TV presenters are gay or at least decidedly camp, some even get their own tv programmes it's only the odd nutter that thinks it matters.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:02 am

Ahso!;1407511 wrote: This thread is so hot.

You're so.........You! :yh_monkey

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:27 am

YZGI;1407512 wrote: Congrats, I know how lesbians feel but I can't seem to wrap my head around the male gay thing. Not that it bothers me. To each their own.There are basically four hypotheses from a biological scientific perspective and it's very interesting. I can point you to the research, but unless you're in the mood to do a lot of reading it's a waste. So I'll link you to lyrics of a song that actually does a very good job of summing it up. You don't have to listen to the song itself if you don't want to, just read the lyrics.

The Evolution of Gayness | Baba Brinkman

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:34 am

Ahso!;1407516 wrote: There are basically four hypotheses from a biological scientific perspective and it's very interesting. I can point you to the research, but unless you're in the mood to do a lot of reading it's a waste. So I'll link you to lyrics of a song that actually does a very good job of summing it up. You don't have to listen to the song itself if you don't want to, just read the lyrics.

The Evolution of Gayness | Baba Brinkman
I read your lyrics, I get that in a evolutionary missing link way that homosexuality is natural in it's own little way. I just happen to be missing that link that allows me to see it from their perspective.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:43 am

YZGI;1407517 wrote: I read your lyrics, I get that in a evolutionary missing link way that homosexuality is natural in it's own little way. I just happen to be missing that link that allows me to see it from their perspective.

You are a lot like me. You like what you like. I preferred bald guys until I saw that thread about Romney.:sneaky:

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:45 am

I'm not sure it's possible to subjectively empathize with gayness unless one is gay him/her self. I'm incapable of understanding anything from any perspective other than my own. The best i can try to do is be objective which is what the science provides for.

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:49 am

Haha

Ahso!;1407511 wrote: This thread is so hot.

You should have seen us at the concert Wednesday night!

Thanks for the support everyone. It's not often that I'm afraid to say something.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:11 am

Well then........firstly, I am happy that you are happy, good for you.

Secondly........why do you feel the need to apologise for being happy ?

Thirdly......is this post a boast, a confession, or what ?

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:26 am

Bruv;1407529 wrote: Well then........firstly, I am happy that you are happy, good for you.

Secondly........why do you feel the need to apologise for being happy ?

Thirdly......is this post a boast, a confession, or what ?

It's my coming out party.

And quite often when I'm full of glee people get suspicious, hence the apology.

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:33 am

flopstock;1407518 wrote: You are a lot like me. You like what you like. I preferred bald guys until I saw that thread about Romney.:sneaky:

Patrick Stewart paved the way for bald sexiness. I think his success is in his ability to both wear a Starship Enterprise uniform and speak fluent Shakespearean.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:35 am

koan;1407531 wrote: It's my coming out party.

And quite often when I'm full of glee people get suspicious, hence the apology.

Stop navel gazing, and live your life, stop imagining that your happiness or lifestyle concerns anybody other than you and your nearest and dearest....................why should it ?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:23 am

koan;1407532 wrote: Patrick Stewart paved the way for bald sexiness. I think his success is in his ability to both wear a Starship Enterprise uniform and speak fluent Shakespearean.

Yul Brenner

Magnificent Seven.....Da da da da da da....

Not that I have that gene that recognizes this sort of thing.:-3

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 12:46 pm

Well, here in the States, Its National Coming Out Day (10/11/12), so congrats on that and your new partner!

And this picture (Ive attached) is my favorite!

Attached files

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 1:10 pm

They are having a seminar at work to which we're supposed to bring our partners. When I asked if we had to bring a partner to go I was told I could also bring a friend. I've written her name down and got asked about it right away. I actually took a physical step back and just decided to say she was a friend of mine who was extremely interested in the topic of the seminar.

They don't need to know who she is to me but, at the same time, it bothers me that I feel I can't be open about it. If it was a guy's name they wouldn't have asked and if they had I'd have readily told them it was my boyfriend. They're good people. I expect if I told them they would just say "ah. cool."

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 1:24 pm

Well, you know them best and made your decision based on that information wether to come out to them or not. It will never be easy to every group of people. You can trust yourself and your intuition. In the meantime, I hope all of humanity will grow more accepting and no one will have to worry about coming out to everyone.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:37 pm

I'm happy for you, koan.

Enjoy!

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:49 pm

I've never really understood the "coming out" thing ... Maybe you're happy cause you're doing something or sharing something that makes you happy? nothing to do with gay-ness or Bi-ness or anything else .

Just enjoy being in the moment Koan, it's all any of us can do .

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:00 pm

It has to do with not feeling like I have to hide who my partner is from anyone. It's unpleasant to be in love with someone and have to hide it. I'm starting with being comfortable saying it on a forum.

It's really funny how some people in real life snoop into your personal life and can end up being the ones saying "do what you want just don't make me look at it." I've listened to them in the lunch room and they are the very people who are often keen on exposing gay people to their audience. Listening to lunch room chatter is partly why I've hesitated to call this girl my girlfriend when asked at work.

I did wear a tux, with suspenders and a tie, to the last Christmas party but went alone. They currently think of me as a wild and unpredictable artsy type who draws funny cartoons.

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:12 pm

@fuzzywuzzy, Im saying this respectfully, just offering a perspective. Its just an explanation if you will...So many LGBTQ people live in fear of harrassment, violence, oppression, etc if they "come out". That is why it is such a big deal when they do. For millions of gay people who come out, some have families that disown them, or worse, communities who shun them. In some cases, though rare, they are murdered. So it IS a big deal when they finally find the courage to "come out" of the closet. Ask any homosexual to share their "coming out" story and it will move you to tears in most cases, because there was most likely some a-hole there to make it uneasy to say the least.

Saint_ · Post by **Saint_** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:22 pm

Works for me too. Live and let live I say. I always get a little confused by evangelicals that screech, "Treat others as you wold have them treat you...unless they are gay!"

It's one of the reasons I'm a Democrat.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:26 pm

koan;1407632 wrote:

I did wear a tux, with suspenders and a tie, to the last Christmas party but went alone. They currently think of me as a wild and unpredictable artsy type who draws funny cartoons.

In that case I don't think anyone is going to be at all surprised . When anyone has told me they were gay I've always said "well der!!!" In my experience people 'come out' well and trully before they verbally "come out". You told everyone ages ago that you were Bi....how is Gay any different?

Well I guess I'm going to have to be the one who says .........."Well Der"!!!! I'm happy if you're happy, not that it has anything to do with me .

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:29 pm

WAMOMMA;1407634 wrote: @fuzzywuzzy, Im saying this respectfully, just offering a perspective. Its just an explanation if you will...So many LGBTQ people live in fear of harrassment, violence, oppression, etc if they "come out". That is why it is such a big deal when they do. For millions of gay people who come out, some have families that disown them, or worse, communities who shun them. In some cases, though rare, they are murdered. So it IS a big deal when they finally find the courage to "come out" of the closet. Ask any homosexual to share their "coming out" story and it will move you to tears in most cases, because there was most likely some a-hole there to make it uneasy to say the least.

Lots of reasons why people leave their home towns because of the fear of violence or ridicule. Homosexualality is just another . We have a community service announcement here a the moment I'll try to find it . It's directed at teen boys . compares being bullied about homosexualality with being left handed . a friend came out with something interesting though ..."what do left handed people do now being compared with Gays?"

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:30 pm

When someone hears you're bi they generally think you have relationships with guys and occasionally "make out" with women. lol

A woman being bi doesn't change people's opinion of you until they find out you actually have a monogamous relationship with a woman.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:47 pm

It's interesting because my sister is Gay. I didn't think she really was but I had a think about it . Her first marriage split because her husband found out she had a threesome with a neighbour and his wife. Now I can do threesomes with men but if you introduced a woman to the situation it would make my skin crawl that would be the end of that horniness for the night....just can't even go there. So she must have had a parchant for women to begin with? which would make sense. I've been extremely insulted in the past with men who have told me that all women are bi "they just don't know it". Pisses me right off. These days I tell them that so are they, and I want to see a sex act between them and ......which ever male is standing around. Shuts them up pretty quick.

So about this woman!!! Is she a bit of a looker?

You're obviously quite smitten with her.

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:58 pm

I think she's beautiful.

We can tell each other stories and both of us can finish it with knowing what comeback the other had. lol

We both love dancing around our apartments as if we're at a nightclub.

We're both artists.

We've seen all the same, obscure movies.

We know when the other is about to text or call us.

Scrat · Post by **Scrat** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:16 pm

Congrats on finding someone you have so much in common with Koan. For me your coming out wasn't necessary, I never really cared about it. You're quite an interesting person all around and a good one at that. Albeit a little stubborn and inflexible at times. :sneaky:

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:43 pm

I didn't do it for you

It's entirely for me, so that I stop being afraid to say it.

Thanks for the sentiment, though. I don't expect many people to be surprised.

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:56 pm

trivializing "coming out" hurts my heart. I wonder if Im the only one.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 4:57 am

It really shouldn't be trivialized. I had no idea that I was afraid of people knowing the extent of my "bi-ness" until recently. Generally when I've mentioned I'm bi it gets the ooglie eyebrows and the person is thinking of threesomes. I'd hidden the times I was actually dating a woman seriously. It's easy to flirt but not so easy to commit and be prepared to be seen in public as a couple. I think I'm ready for that now.