And So FG Trundles On ...

Post by **jones jones** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:10 am

... in much the same, in fact in exactly the same way it did in 2008 when I first joined.

Members make fun of, belittle and sometimes openly attack other members simply because they disagree with a thread that has been posted. It takes all kinds to make a world, so I guess it’s the same on a Social Forum. Some earthlings are tough, like moi The Chosen, others at the least very resilient, but many and I won't mention names, are touchy and often easily hurt.

Disagreement and different opinions are a healthy trend, but playing the member instead of the ball isn't. I have been on the receiving end of quite a few beatings in my years as a member here so I know what I'm talking about.

Will everyone agree on every topic every time? Of course not. But respect for another member's opinion and standpoint ... is that too much to ask?

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:48 am

Then I think you owe Bruv an apology.

Post by **jones jones** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:51 am

I wonder why you think that?

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:33 pm

Apology is owed by many

There's so much C'Mas spirit here in FG it's over whelming.

Ho Ho Ho

Patsy

Post by **jones jones** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:41 pm

Patsy Warnick;1412511 wrote: Apology is owed by many

There's so much C'Mas spirit here in FG it's over whelming.

Ho Ho Ho

Patsy

Okay then I, The Chosen, in the spirit of Christmas and seeing as we all have only nine days left to live, if we're to believe those Mayan dudes, hereby humbly apologise to all those FG members I have either annoyed/upset/belittled/flirted with or in any other way made their life a misery. Please forgive me!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:47 pm

Holy crap! Isn't there a private place this can go so I don't have to see it?? I can't think of a more stupid waste of time than to start a whole new thread to bitch about people bitching too much, cowardly attacking people without naming names for attacking people, and generally whining about all the whining.

JJ, you, YES YOU, have made this wonderful place just a little less wonderful with your tripe. Congratulations.

If you really want to fix things (rather than just calling attention to yourself) take it underground and deal with the individuals privately.

Post by **jones jones** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:51 pm

Accountable;1412514 wrote: Holy crap! Isn't there a private place this can go so I don't have to see it?? I can't think of a more stupid waste of time than to start a whole new thread to bitch about people bitching too much, cowardly attacking people without naming names for attacking people, and generally whining about all the whining.

JJ, you, YES YOU, have made this wonderful place just a little less wonderful with your tripe. Congratulations.

If you really want to fix things (rather than just calling attention to yourself) take it underground and deal with the individuals privately.

There was once a wonderful Irish lady who was a member here. We were friends and when I said something really outrageous to her she would respond with (Gasp!)

So I say to you citizen Accountable ....

(GASP!!!)

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:36 pm

JJ

I wasn't implying you owe a apology - not to me.

interesting who's requesting one.?

Have a nice Christmas

it is what it is.. leave it alone

Patsy

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:42 pm

Why is it interesting?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:50 pm

SnoozeAgain;1412507 wrote: Then I think you owe Bruv an apology.

Why ?

Did I miss something ?........................I often do

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:53 pm

Bruv;1412531 wrote: Why ?

Did I miss something ?........................I often do

I've noticed him ragging on you several times. I thought it was rather hypocritical of him to start this thread when he's just as guilty as everyone he's trying to chastise.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:53 pm

SnoozeAgain;1412529 wrote: Why is it interesting?

Shouldn't you be sipping lemonade and sleeping off your bug?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 3:04 pm

SnoozeAgain;1412532 wrote: I've noticed him ragging on you several times. I thought it was rather hypocritical of him to start this thread when he's just as guilty as everyone he's trying to chastise.

I think I rag on him as often to be honest.

To be fair it is best to ignore, wish I could, he feeds off the drama.

I could kick myself for being drawn into his game.

See.....he's done it again ?.......................I must try harder.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 3:04 pm

Snooze

Your requesting a apology from JJ for Bruv like a Big Sister

Yet you feel comfortable to throw insults to me & continue to do so.

But then again your sick

Patsy

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 3:43 pm

I love these kind of threads.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:00 pm

I don't

It's very difficult to have a conversation - discussion here without some one being the bully - having to get the last word in - insulting others to make themselves right.

It's really old & childish.

Merry Christmas YZGI

Patsy

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:00 pm

YZGI;1412539 wrote: I love these kind of threads.
I love an honest member.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:08 pm

Patsy Warnick;1412535 wrote: Snooze

Your requesting a apology from JJ for Bruv like a Big Sister

Yet you feel comfortable to throw insults to me & continue to do so.

But then again your sick

Patsy

Patsy, I readily admit I'm not the easiest member to get along with on here but you're right up there with me. You're confrontational and bitter in nearly every single post you make. You might want to turn down the outrage meter when you've tried bullying here as much as anyone.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:12 pm

PS No need to reply, I've just put you on ignore. Have a ball.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:15 pm

Of course your right snooze

Truce and

Merry Christmas to all

Patsy

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:38 pm

here we go again.

wah wah wah

boo hoo hoo

does mommy need to warm your bottle or change your dipey wipey???

geesh

:rolleyes:

Post by **LarsMac** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:11 pm

FG makes me feel at home.

When I was growing up, we had a fairly large family all in the South.

We gathered a couple, three times a year, somewhere, and no one was afraid of hurting anyone's feelings, in the slightest. There was always someone being a little rude, and always someone with their nose out of joint. Bickering and lighthearted insults were common.

We've since all spread out, and, many of the elders have died off. We seldom get more than a dozen together for Christmas, not many weddings of late. The only time we really get a crowd is when one of the elderfolk die.

I've wandered about a number of forums but FG is the only one that really feels like home.

Thank you all for being yourselves, and remember, as Wavy Gravy says, "If you lose your sense of humor, It's just not funny anymore."

Merry Christmas, y'all.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:44 pm

wamomma;1412549 wrote: here we go again.

Wah wah wah

boo hoo hoo

does mommy need to warm your bottle or change your dipey wipey???

Geesh

:rolleyes:

(gasp!!!)

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:07 am

This thread has made me chortle at some of the comments here because we are talking about hurt feelings. I can speak with experience as my time as a moderator on other forums and from what i've seen here, this is nothing. One thread became so heated, we ended up involving the local police after very real threats of physical violence were made against a member. I have seen over the years examples of reverse psychology here. A member keeps coming back to a thread but claims they are being bullied when another member continues to disagree with their opinion. Then they start the trolling and bullying themselves but few see it as bullying because they have cast the first stone. It's a well practiced and tired old format on forums worldwide. " I'll claim i'm being bullied and then continue baiting but i'll be excused because i'm such a sensitive little soul ".

Dear oh dear, this is a forum where debate is meant to be the lifeblood of the forum. We are supposed to have light moderation here but feelings are being hurt because members fail to see others opinions. The one who's feelings are hurt returns to a thread time after time to repeat their opinion only to get more frustrated because no-one is agreeing with them. It's about respecting that not everyone is going to agree with you all of the time and sorry to be blunt but if anyone can't handle that, then they shouldn't be on a forum, they should be writing a private blog.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:18 am

It's also cowardly to scream "bully!!1!!" when there's a difference of opinion. I don't understand why admin here keeps falling for it.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:33 am

If someone easily takes offense it just makes life harder for themselves & life is hard enough. Just shake it off & move on, & this is a lesson I wish I had learned earlier, but at least I know it now. And live it.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:46 am

This kind of crap makes me miss the days of Odie.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:59 am

I remember a member here calling Oscar " a queen loving, tea drinking knob head" and worse. GASP, a daily mail reader. Another member came in and called her a nazi. It caused immense amusement to the both of us at the time but taking offence simply because someone doesn't agree with your opinion is in effect causing the problem in the first place, not the reaction you're getting. There will always be people on forums all over who think some members post nothing but rubbish but it doesn't constitute bullying. More often than not accusations of bullying come from members on forums who simply want the board to lap up every word they say and take offence when they don't. Forums all over are full of members like that and it's life not forum garden and it's people. If you're directly personally attacked, insulted, baited and trolled, by all means take offence but hurt feelings because someone thinks you've posted rubbish is not an issue that should be causing arguments on forums. It happens to all of us.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:07 am

LarsMac;1412550 wrote: FG makes me feel at home.

When I was growing up, we had a fairly large family all in the South.

We gathered a couple, three times a year, somewhere, and no one was afraid of hurting anyone's feelings, in the slightest. There was always someone being a little rude, and always someone with their nose out of joint. Bickering and lighthearted insults were common.

We've since all spread out, and, many of the elders have died off. We seldom get more than a dozen together for Christmas, not many weddings of late. The only time we really get a crowd is when one of the elderfolk die.

I've wandered about a number of forums but FG is the only one that really feels like home.

Thank you all for being yourselves, and remember, as Wavy Gravy says, "If you lose your sense of humor, It's just not funny anymore."

Merry Christmas, y'all.
I thought you were going to forget the funny guy at your get togethers. Then you saved it with the Wavy Gravy quote..LOL

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:08 am

flopstock;1412598 wrote: This kind of crap makes me miss the days of Odie.

Why? You haven't got to use the WTF buttons lately?

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:12 am

YZGI;1412602 wrote: Why? You haven't got to use the WTF buttons lately?
I've taken offence to this post.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:13 am

Peter Lake;1412604 wrote: I've taken offence to this post.

I apologize if this is offensive, but you must agree that there were times.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:15 am

YZGI;1412606 wrote: I apologize if this is offensive, but you must agree that there were times. Apology accepted, just don't hurt my feelings again by by-passing my inspiring wisdom.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:18 am

Peter Lake;1412609 wrote: Apology accepted, just don't hurt my feelings again by by-passing my inspiring wisdom.

I get up in the mornings anticipating the sage wisdom of your posts.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:31 am

YZGI;1412613 wrote: I get up in the mornings anticipating the sage wisdom of your posts. I'm relieved to hear it, i was about to throw a tantrum.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:04 am

I wonder if there's such a thing as parsley wisdom. Or rosemary.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:24 am

SnoozeAgain;1412625 wrote: I wonder if there's such a thing as parsley wisdom. Or rosemary.

Only thyme will tell.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:49 am

YZGI;1412628 wrote: Only thyme will tell. I'm now deeply offended that your post was far wittier than anything i could think of.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:51 am

Patsy Warnick is a lady ... I'm sure that many of you here recognise the word.

She's way too polite to get up anyone's nose like I do cos I'm a cage fighter and have learned over the years that on FG, attack is the best form of defence!.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:37 am

jones jones;1412630 wrote: Patsy Warnick is a lady ... I'm sure that many of you here recognise the word.

She's way too polite to get up anyone's nose like I do cos I'm a cage fighter and have learned over the years that on FG, attack is the best form of defence!.

Then let's make things perfectly clear here. I don't know Patsy and i'm sure she's a lady as you say but most people don't use forums to attack anyone. Most people use a forum to debate or have fun and sometimes, they happen to make a few friends along the way. How many times have you met someone in real life, walked away and thought, " he's talking rubbish" because i have but that person won't be offended because he'll never know what you were thinking. The difference here is that we only have the written word to go by and when someone, anyone, makes an assertive, opinionated post, it's par for the course of any forum that someone, maybe a few will come in and strongly disagree with them. If no insults are traded or personal attacks made then hurt feelings because the board disagree's with you is down to the individual regardless of weather they are a lady or a docker. It's about not being able to accept that all that you write is not the gospel. There's a member here who often tells Oscar she's talking bollocks but she doesn't report posts and claim she's being bullied because she happens to be one of those people in life who's not easily offended and tends to find it all amusing. That's the very essence of forums, one's offended because no-one agree's with them and another take's it on the chin. Forums are about people and all people are different and we all react to criticism differently but when it gets silly is when other members want to post in a thread but refrain for fear of being accused of bullying should they happen to disagree with a post. As for Patsy never getting up anyone's nose, however well you we believe we know people, we can't dictate how others may actually be offended by what they write. YOU may not be offended but others may be and just because i happen to like a member here, i don't expect everyone else to never be offended by their posts. As an example, i happen to like bruv but you seem to be constantly offended by him whereas i see nothing offensive about his posts so can you see my observations here Jones? I'm in no doubt you're being gentlemanly in defending a lady who appears to have had her feelings hurt and that's admirable but hurt feelings are a world away from bullying. I'm not being confrontational here but striving to put this into perspective as an observer.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:47 am

Sorry but Patsy's no more of a 'lady' than I am.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:20 am

Peter Lake;1412633 wrote: Then let's make things perfectly clear here. I don't know Patsy and i'm sure she's a lady as you say but most people don't use forums to attack anyone. Most people use a forum to debate or have fun and sometimes, they happen to make a few friends along the way. How many times have you met someone in real life, walked away and thought, " he's talking rubbish" because i have but that person won't be offended because he'll never know what you were thinking. The difference here is that we only have the written word to go by and when someone, anyone, makes an assertive, opinionated post, it's par for the course of any forum that someone, maybe a few will come in and strongly disagree with them. If no insults are traded or personal attacks made then hurt feelings because the board disagree's with you is down to the individual regardless of weather they are a lady or a docker. It's about not being able to accept that all that you write is not the gospel. There's a member here who often tells Oscar she's talking bollocks but she doesn't report posts and claim she's being bullied because she happens to be one of those people in life who's not easily offended and tends to find it all amusing. That's the very essence of forums, one's offended because no-one agree's with them and another take's it on the chin. Forums are about people and all people are different and we all react to criticism differently but when it gets silly is when other members want to post in a thread but refrain for fear of being accused of bullying should they happen to disagree with a post. As for Patsy never getting up anyone's nose, however well you we believe we know people, we can't dictate how others may actually be offended by what they write. YOU may not be offended but others may be and just because i happen to like a member here, i don't expect everyone else to never be offended by their posts. As an example, i happen to like bruv but you seem to be constantly offended by him whereas i see nothing offensive about his posts so can you see my observations here Jones? I'm in no doubt you're being gentlemanly in defending a lady who appears to have had her feelings hurt and that's admirable but hurt feelings are a world away from bullying. I'm not being confrontational here but striving to put this into perspective as an observer.

Your point is taken Sir Peter.

The thing with me and Bruv ... well we go way back and we like "feed" off each other.

Honest, there is absolutely no member on FG past or present, towards whom I wish any ill at all. And I know that citizen Accountable will like go (BARF!!!) at this, but its true.

Truly, I am NOT into hate and agression and **** like that. I know I often rush into print so to speak, but with me its usually (with the odd exception) good fun, irony, tongue in cheek and the like.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:27 am

jones jones;1412636 wrote: Your point is taken Sir Peter.

The thing with me and Bruv ... well we go way back and we like "feed" off each other.

Honest, there is absolutely no member on FG past or present, towards whom I wish any ill at all. And I know that citizen Accountable will like go (BARF!!!) at this, but its true.

Truly, I am NOT into hate and agression and **** like that. I know I often rush into print so to speak, but with me its usually (with the odd exception) good fun, irony, tongue in cheek and the like.

Then what's the point of this thread Jones? Surely if a member genuinely feels they have been bullied, they have the right to report the post and put it up for discussion with members? Wouldn't that be the more acceptable way of going about things rather than make a thread on the open board where possibly feelings could run high, insults traded and cause more problems for moderators and the forum. No-one can be " the hurt feelings police ".

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:30 am

So..........all together now.....

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:33 am

Peter Lake;1412637 wrote: Then what's the point of this thread Jones? Surely if a member genuinely feels they have been bullied, they have the right to report the post and put it up for discussion with members? Wouldn't that be the more acceptable way of going about things rather than make a thread on the open board where possibly feelings could run high, insults traded and cause more problems for moderators and the forum. No-one can be " the hurt feelings police ".

Too true ... However if one feels the way you do, one can right at the outset, walk away can one not?

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:41 am

I was asked a question

I answered the quesion

Not sure what else happened - snooze was upset with the answer - yes.

I don't know snooze -

I'm sorry I was honest

I'll be busy wrapping gifts today

Every one - give it a break please

Merry Chistmas to all

Patsy

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:45 am

And Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Festival of Lights to you too Patsy Warnick.

:guitarist:guitarist:guitarist

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:50 am

jones jones;1412640 wrote: Too true ... However if one feels the way you do, one can right at the outset, walk away can one not? I'm very glad you have said that because i don't think you're aware of all the facts here. At the beginning of that thread, Patsy was happy to quote Oscar and keep coming back at her. Without any provocation, she made a snide remark that Oscar should go look at her own lines on her face or words to that effect. It was a blatant bait but did Oscar get offended because her feelings were hurt and report the post? No, instead she came back with a tongue in cheek post adding a recent photograph of herself to show that at her age there is not one line on her face. Patsy then replied saying Oscar was bullying her and Oscar posted that she was sorry she felt that way. Despite reading her apology, some time after, Patsy reports her posts as bullying. Make no mistake Jones, Patsy didn't report the post because she felt bullied, after all, she chose to keep coming back at Oscar. The post was reported out of wounded pride. She tried to belittle and humiliate Oscar by making a snide comment about the lines on her face and when the photograph was posted with not one visible line, Patsy felt stupid. In the members only room which i don't believe you can see, some members posted that Patsy was deliberately baiting Oscar, others could not see why the post had been reported and no action was taken because Bryn's conclusion was mountains and molehills. Why have i gone into this detail? To further my explanation that it's about hurt feelings, not bullying. No-one can keep coming back at someone and make snide personal remarks and seriously expect them not to react. If Bruv had said the same thing to you, you would've reacted the same. It's all about individual perceptions. Some saw it as Patsy baiting Oscar, some didn't so as i said, we're all different people and what one may be offended by, another see's no offence. What you should have done, is report the posts you felt bullied Patsy and put it up for discussion not try to make those who dared to disagree with her opinion feel belittled here. I apologise if i'm offending you here Jones but i'm a straight talker.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:04 pm

What you should have done, is report the posts you felt bullied Patsy and put it up for discussion not try to make those who dared to disagree with her opinion feel belittled here. I apologise if i'm offending you here Jones but i'm a straight talker.]

I've been here a while and I think and I stand to be corrected, but in all that time I may have reported a post once, maybe twice. Personally I don't believe it is up to me to play moderator.

Belittling another member doesn't sit well with me ... however I am of the opinion that one earthling's definition of "belittling" is another one's definition of a "challenge." Of course no two members here are the same ... some take offence much quicker than others and this is quite understandable as some are much more easily offended/upset than others.

I am of the type who is NOT easily offended and straight talking is the only way to go to clear the air so to speak. You are a man who like me, speaks his mind and I respect you for it.

Post by **Peter Lake** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:09 pm

jones jones;1412649 wrote: What you should have done, is report the posts you felt bullied Patsy and put it up for discussion not try to make those who dared to disagree with her opinion feel belittled here. I apologise if i'm offending you here Jones but i'm a straight talker.]

I've been here a while and I think and I stand to be corrected, but in all that time I may have reported a post once, maybe twice. Personally I don't believe it is up to me to play moderator.

Belittling another member doesn't sit well with me ... however I am of the opinion that one earthling's definition of "belittling" is another one's definition of a "challenge." Of course no two members here are the same ... some take offence much quicker than others and this is quite understandable as some are much more easily offended/upset than others.

I am of the type who is NOT easily offended and straight talking is the only way to go to clear the air so to speak. You are a man who like me, speaks his mind and I respect you for it.

Thank you Jones, differences can so easily be calmed if the people are willing to talk and the admin allow people to put their side of the coin so others know exactly where they're at instead of reading between the lines and second guessing for that's when forums descend into a farce. Respect can be gained by frank talking instead of bitterness that one is getting a raw deal. Perhaps this can be the end of this now and we can all move on? I hope so.