Domestic Violence

[Oscar Namechange]

There was a lady on my news channel tonight who's young daughter was murdered by a violent boyfriend. The Mother Is now campaigning for Domestic Violence to be taught to school children.

Do you think this Is right, to expose young children to this or do you think It's a good Idea ?

[LarsMac]

I think that There has to be a way for children to know that it isn't right, and that when they see it at home they need to know how to find help to stop it.

A lot of it is imprinted at an early age. Children who grow up in violent households are significantly more likely to commit domestic violence when they grow up.

[Patsy Warnick]

Some children are already exposed to Domestic Violence.

Yes, I think teaching children right & wrong - giving them resources regarding Domestic Violence - it's a good idea.

I understand the lady's quest - Bravo to her.

Patsy

[Oscar Namechange]

Well, tonight, they said It may not be a good Idea because as you both say, some children already live with domestic violence. Their argument was that It may put young children at risk If the violent parent realises that the child has been encouraged to go to the authorities In school.

[AnneBoleyn]

Is that part of the program, oscar, that children are encouraged to go to the authorities regarding their own families?

[LarsMac]

Who else would they go to?

Perhaps it would be better to train them on firearms use, and they could protect their abused parents and siblings, themselves?

[flopstock]

oscar;1435075 wrote: Well, tonight, they said It may not be a good Idea because as you both say, some children already live with domestic violence. Their argument was that It may put young children at risk If the violent parent realises that the child has been encouraged to go to the authorities In school.


Hate to break it to them, but those kids are already at risk. At the same time, you can expect a rise in false reporting.

[AnneBoleyn]

I think it's better to teach children how to handle their anger without violence, to respect each other as male & female, then be taught to snitch on their own parents.

I used to work in foster care. I'll never forget the painful (thankfully rare) stories of children we "saved" in emergency situations who were later abused, even killed, in foster care.

[AnneBoleyn]

LarsMac;1435100 wrote: Who else would they go to?

Perhaps it would be better to train them on firearms use, and they could protect their abused parents and siblings, themselves?


Are you someone else posing as LarsMac?

[Oscar Namechange]

My Issue In British schools Is how young the children would be when exposed to recognising domestic abuse. In 6 th grade at a time when most are getting boyfriends and girlfriends, I think It's a good Idea to make them aware of how to recognise the signs that lead to domestic abuse and how to get out before It turns violent.

Yet young children could mistake a good old healthy barney between mum and dad as something worse.

[LarsMac]

LarsMac;1435100 wrote: Who else would they go to?

Perhaps it would be better to train them on firearms use, and they could protect their abused parents and siblings, themselves?


AnneBoleyn;1435110 wrote: Are you someone else posing as LarsMac?


Sorry, but it's me.

Due to a recent situation in my extended family, I am far too close to this subject to offer any reasonable reply.

[gmc]

oscar;1435117 wrote: My Issue In British schools Is how young the children would be when exposed to recognising domestic abuse. In 6 th grade at a time when most are getting boyfriends and girlfriends, I think It's a good Idea to make them aware of how to recognise the signs that lead to domestic abuse and how to get out before It turns violent.

Yet young children could mistake a good old healthy barney between mum and dad as something worse.


Children get upset when parents argue anyway I suspect most of them can tell the difference between a disagreement and ongoing constant arguing and abuse the thing is what can they actually do about it? The sad fact is that for some kids childhood is something they survive but at least nowadays we actually talk about it. How about that old chestnut things like that never used to happen? They did nobody wanted to know about it. Having said that there are still plenty of people who think it acceptable for a boyfriend to hit his girlfriend if she is in the "wrong". Being able to smack children many see as a parents right. Part of the problem IMO is an overemphasise on having stable "relationships" and working through problems rather than just accepting this doesn't work I'm getting another boyfriend. The constant criticism of single parents doesn't help we still have this idea that you should stay in an abusive marriage so as not to break up the family and courts will still give access to children to an abusive parent especially it seems if it's a husband whose wife left him because of it.

[LarsMac]

Children need to know that it is NOT all right for Daddy to beat Mommy, and it it NOT all right for a parent to beat children. And they need to know that someone cares and will stop it.

If that is "snitching" then so be it. Yes, there is the possibility of false reporting. Yes, there will be children who will not "Snitch" and will continue to suffer the abuse.

Which is worse?

[Oscar Namechange]

Growing up with parents who never so much as raised their voices although one silent look over his spectacles by my Father could strike the fear of god Into us, I am reallly uncomfortable seeing people shout at their children.

Problem Is, abuse Is so often historic and It's about breaking the cycle from one generation to the next and where do you start?

[LarsMac]

With the children.

Where else?

[Patsy Warnick]

I can't say the proper age to introduce Domestic Violence as a topic.

My introduction to D.V. - I was @ 16 yrs. old and I was baby sitting for a couple which I had sat for many times.

This night the couple come home - I'm asleep on the sofa it's late. They're yelling - she takes his fishing poles and crack the poles over her knee. fist are flying- screaming - yelling- **** is flying - I saw the females hair being pulled.

I remember being all curled up on a sofa in shock.

Obviously it still effects me. It's the vision I have every time Domestic Violence is mentioned.

Teach the kids - I wished I had a heads up.

That's a life time nightmare....

Patsy

[gmc]

As an adult you can look back and understand how such things experiences affect you as a child it's all you know. What's worse is when it's adults you know involved what can you actually do to intervene? Unless the victim asks for help it can make things worse and there is still this attitude that between husband and wife it has nothing to do with outsiders. If you are present then maybe you can do something but it goes on behind closed doors.

[Oscar Namechange]

Domestic violence Is not just about violence but about control by the abuser and It's that control that's so difficult to stop.

You can have all the people In the world knowing It's happening and advising you to get out but breaking the control Is very difficult.

The abuser starts by Isolating you from friends and family so you are forced Into a position where you actually feel dependent on them and that's why It's so hard for many women to get away. Once they have Isolated you, they then set about destroying your self confidence and making you feel worthless.

Women who do get away, rarely do so because others have advised them to but because they have either reached absolute rock bottom where they don't care what happens to them any more or they find an enormous strength from somewhere. Invariably, It's the former.