Great quotes by great women

[BabyRider]

Here are some excellent quotes from some very wise women. I particularly like the one from Zsa Zsa Gabor, and also the one from Dolly Parton. Enjoy!





Inside every older person is a younger

person -- wondering what the hell happened..

-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

The hardest years in life are

those between ten and seventy.

-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I refuse to think of them as chin

hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

-Janette Barber-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Things are going to get a lot worse

before they get worse.

-Lily Tomlin-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

A male gynecologist is like an auto

mechanic who never owned a car.

-Carrie Snow-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Laugh and the world laughs with you.

Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

-Laurie Kuslansky-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

My second favorite household chore is ironing.

My first being, hitting my head on the

top bunk bed until I faint.

-Erma Bombeck-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

-Bette Davis-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

A woman must do what he can't.

-Rhonda Hansome-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

-Jane Sellman-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Every time I close the door on reality

it comes in through the windows.

-Jennifer Unlimited-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Whatever women must do they must do

twice as well as men to be thought half

as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-Charlotte Whitton-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head

together and your body starts falling apart.

-Caryn Leschen-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I try to take one day at a time, but

sometimes several days attack me at once.

-Jennifer Unlimited-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you can't be a good example, then you'll

just have to be a horrible warning.

-Catherine-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I was young, I was put in a

school for retarded kids for two years

before they realized I actually had a

hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

-Kathy Buckley-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde

jokes because I know I'm not

dumb, and I'm also not blonde.

-Dolly Parton-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

If high heels were so wonderful, men

would still be wearing them.

-Sue Grafton-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears

makes one you can ride on.

-Roseanne Barr-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

When women are depressed they either eat

or go shopping. Men invade another country.

-Elayne Boosler-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

-Maryon Pearson -

++++++++++++++++++++++++

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-

if you want anything done, ask a woman.

-Margaret Thatcher-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice

on how to combine marriage and a career.

-Gloria Steinem-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am a marvelous housekeeper.

Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nobody can make you feel inferior

without your permission.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

[minks]

hohohohohoho I love those

[abbey]

Loved em BR.

For class quotes from a woman, you cant go wrong with Mae West....





When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better.



A hard man... is good to find



It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men.



He who hesitates is last.



I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.



So many men... so little time



Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful



Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio.



I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.



A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.



A man in the house... is worth two in the street



Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.



It's better to be looked over, than overlooked



Give a man a free hand... and he'll run it all over you



Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand



To err is human -- but it feels divine



His mother should have thrown him away...and kept the stork



I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.



"Goodness, what beautiful diamonds !" Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie



I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported



When a girl goes wrong, men go right... after her



I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night.



Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?



I used to be Snow White... but I drifted



Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn't rain



I've been rich and I've been poor... Believe me, rich is better



It's hard to be funny...when you have to be "clean"



I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman... but loose enough to show I'm a lady.



She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success... wrong by wrong



You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction... but the second meeting shows up new angles



You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.



Those who are easily shocked... should be shocked more often



When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.



You ought to get out of those wet clothes... and into a dry martini

[cars]

The good girl says: Gee, it's hard to be good! :wah:

The bad girl says: Gee, it's got to be hard to be good!!

("Unknown")

[Peg]

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -- Phyllis Diller

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. -- Roseanne

[abbey]

Peg wrote: Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -- Phyllis Diller



My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. -- RoseanneWhat no Peg Bundy quotes Peg? she must have some classics!;)

[Peg]

abbey wrote: What no Peg Bundy quotes Peg? she must have some classics!;)


I hate work. That's why I got married

I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.

[john8pies]

Behind every successful man, there`s a woman.....with a gun pointing at his book.

A man is old as old as the woman he`s feeling

Though personally I feel Groucho Marx is the funniest of the lot! (eg, "This morning I woke up and I shot an elephant, in my pyjamas. I don`t know what an elephant was doing inside my pyjamas, though!" "You`ve never been so insulted? - you want to get out more!" etc etc!)

[capt_buzzard]

Get off the Fcukin Computer and come to bed. my Mrs

[lady cop]

one more...........you have the right to remain silent........and give me your hands honey.

[abbey]

capt_buzzard wrote: Get off the Fcukin Computer and come to bed. my Mrs:wah: :wah: Good old Mrs Buzzard.

[capt_buzzard]

abbey wrote: :wah: :wah: Good old Mrs Buzzard.ask the Mrs

[Peg]

My favorite Roseanne Barr quotes:

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.

Roseanne Barr

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Roseanne Barr

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Roseanne Barr

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

Roseanne Barr

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

Roseanne Barr

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

Roseanne Barr