My big mouth on family reunion - it's all about the elders
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nvalleyvee
- Posts: 5191
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:57 am
My big mouth on family reunion - it's all about the elders
My Mom and her twin are 16 years younger than their next oldest sister. We have had family reunion for 20 years in close proximity to all of their brothers and sisters - good thing because they are all 86 - 95 years old. This year it is in CA and not NM - WHY do you ask? Because my Mom wanted to show off her son's wealth. The family went along with it - I think out of being just stupified by the suggestion no one said "NO". I wrote e-mails to all my female cousins (8 of us out of 40 cousins) - we are all around 50 now - saying we needed to take this over and bring the reunion back home to the elders so they can be there at all of them before they die. We have decided to take it over for 2007 AND we are going to have another reunion next summer so the elders of our family can attend. Do you realize how much these people love to see the generations - how much respect they always get at reunion - how much we love them. My memory goes back 45 years to these people who came in and loved me after my Dad died - I always had FAMILY. I still have FAMILY.
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
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Accountable
- Posts: 24818
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am
My big mouth on family reunion - it's all about the elders
My family disentegrated when I was a kid (long story). I'm the youngest of five. In 1999, we all agreed to get together at the old family church. It would be the first time all five of us had been in the same room in 25 years! I was in Japan, one brother was in Italy (Army), the other brother and sister were in North Carolina, and the eldest sister was still in our home town.
Long separate story short, my plane broke down and they cancelled my flight from Japan. All other flights were booked. I missed the reunion.
Flash forward a couple of months. I received a VHS tape in the mail. There was the reunion. One of the most boring things, the family reunion. It was held in the old church's reception hall, a long room with a kitchenette at one end and folding tables & chairs scattered around. I watched as old ladies hobbled from the shadows of our past and did the old lady thing: "Do you remember who I am?" while holding the listener's face with both hands. People sat around drinking koolaid punch from plastic cups. There were probably 15-20 people. No speeches, no music, just punch and remeniscing. At the end of the tape I found myself crying, tears flowing freely. It struck me funny that I would undoubtedly be bored out of my head, had I been there. But when I laughed, it came out as a loud painful bawl. I boohooed for several minutes, the whole time laughing inside at how that oh-so-boring tape affected me.
Long separate story short, my plane broke down and they cancelled my flight from Japan. All other flights were booked. I missed the reunion.
Flash forward a couple of months. I received a VHS tape in the mail. There was the reunion. One of the most boring things, the family reunion. It was held in the old church's reception hall, a long room with a kitchenette at one end and folding tables & chairs scattered around. I watched as old ladies hobbled from the shadows of our past and did the old lady thing: "Do you remember who I am?" while holding the listener's face with both hands. People sat around drinking koolaid punch from plastic cups. There were probably 15-20 people. No speeches, no music, just punch and remeniscing. At the end of the tape I found myself crying, tears flowing freely. It struck me funny that I would undoubtedly be bored out of my head, had I been there. But when I laughed, it came out as a loud painful bawl. I boohooed for several minutes, the whole time laughing inside at how that oh-so-boring tape affected me.
My big mouth on family reunion - it's all about the elders
Far Rider wrote: NVV,
Your doing the best thing.. the resonable thing. If your whoever wants to show wealth then let her bring a small party out to goff and then they can all bring it back to the others... suggest she bring out the biggest gossips in each family...dont worry you'll know them they are the biggest complainers!
We hold a family reunion every other year... It's huge, we take up the whole county fair grounds... there are regularly five generations present and its awesome! Everybody brings enough meet to BBQ for their family plus 10 people and side dishes to boot.
There are contests, hats, t shirts to identify each family and about 20 years ago when I was a kid each family drew up a "coat of arms" I have several t shirts with my particular side of the families coat of arms on the chest or back.
It last three days and there are events, and games and a final dinner and always a square dance.
On the first day the oldest member and a selected member of each family group represents the family up front. and there are speeches and joking and laughter and then a time of silence as each of the selected family members reads the names of those born into their family and those who passed on.
Far, that sounds like LOADS of fun!!! We had our final family reunion this past June. We always held it on Father's Day. As time went on, less & less people showed up, because there was so much bickering going on. The older people didn't want to allow us to do things. For example, my mom's cousin got hurt playing baseball the one year & had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. That stopped the baseball games. One year, we were playing bingo & another family member & I won the same game. We were supposed to go up to the front & pick out a prize. I picked (apparently what everybody thought was the nicest prize) a foot stool made out of cedar that my great-uncle had made. Well, you'd have thought I had committed a crime! I swore never to play again. I won just like anybody else had. This is how it went on & on, until everybody was driven away by the complaining. Now, the elders have almost all passed away & they were the main ones bickering. But now nobody wants to take it over & keep it going, including me. I'd love to see it go on. But it should be fun... for EVERYONE. I just could never think of ways to make it fun. And our family is not one for bringing alcohol into it. At least, the elders weren't. It's such a shame. And my aunt passed away the day after the reunion in 2004. That was the last time I saw her, at the reunion. My grandmother passed away in September of that same year. We used to complain about having to go to them, but my mom made us, so that all of my grandmother's family was represented. Now that Grandma's gone, there wasn't much reason. But I'd love to start a NEW FUN reunion!! Thanks for some great ideas! If anybody knows any others, please share!
Your doing the best thing.. the resonable thing. If your whoever wants to show wealth then let her bring a small party out to goff and then they can all bring it back to the others... suggest she bring out the biggest gossips in each family...dont worry you'll know them they are the biggest complainers!
We hold a family reunion every other year... It's huge, we take up the whole county fair grounds... there are regularly five generations present and its awesome! Everybody brings enough meet to BBQ for their family plus 10 people and side dishes to boot.
There are contests, hats, t shirts to identify each family and about 20 years ago when I was a kid each family drew up a "coat of arms" I have several t shirts with my particular side of the families coat of arms on the chest or back.
It last three days and there are events, and games and a final dinner and always a square dance.
On the first day the oldest member and a selected member of each family group represents the family up front. and there are speeches and joking and laughter and then a time of silence as each of the selected family members reads the names of those born into their family and those who passed on.
Far, that sounds like LOADS of fun!!! We had our final family reunion this past June. We always held it on Father's Day. As time went on, less & less people showed up, because there was so much bickering going on. The older people didn't want to allow us to do things. For example, my mom's cousin got hurt playing baseball the one year & had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. That stopped the baseball games. One year, we were playing bingo & another family member & I won the same game. We were supposed to go up to the front & pick out a prize. I picked (apparently what everybody thought was the nicest prize) a foot stool made out of cedar that my great-uncle had made. Well, you'd have thought I had committed a crime! I swore never to play again. I won just like anybody else had. This is how it went on & on, until everybody was driven away by the complaining. Now, the elders have almost all passed away & they were the main ones bickering. But now nobody wants to take it over & keep it going, including me. I'd love to see it go on. But it should be fun... for EVERYONE. I just could never think of ways to make it fun. And our family is not one for bringing alcohol into it. At least, the elders weren't. It's such a shame. And my aunt passed away the day after the reunion in 2004. That was the last time I saw her, at the reunion. My grandmother passed away in September of that same year. We used to complain about having to go to them, but my mom made us, so that all of my grandmother's family was represented. Now that Grandma's gone, there wasn't much reason. But I'd love to start a NEW FUN reunion!! Thanks for some great ideas! If anybody knows any others, please share!