stages---we're supposed to go through stages

[lady cop]

have you ever read any of those old 'stages' books or cliches? do you believe in stages? in life, in mourning, has your experience followed those stages? you know the ones....denial. anger. bargaining with God. fear. sorrow. acceptance. resignation. people may not go through them in order. what do you think? i went through them with my parents' deaths. and now my loss of my life's work. the stages can accompany any major change, any death. of a person, a life, a marriage, the death of dreams.

[Clint]

I absolutely believe in stages of mourning. They need to be recognized as real and people who are mourning a death or the loss of a job or anything need to allow themselves to experience any of he stages they encounter. As I understand it, you don’t get to skip a stage. If you miss it now you will end up coming back to it later or you won’t heal from the deep wound the loss has inflicted.

[Bez]

Life's like writing a book.....you go chapter by chapter..... when one finishes, you turn over and write another. some chapters are full of joy, some just plod along and some are full of horror storys. Within the story there are all the emotions that you have mentioned. I do not believe a human being can exist without these...I have felt them all and sometimes have felt that the story In my particular book, ended right there.....of course it didn't . The next page takes a lot of effort to turn.....you're starting to do that (your new signature) ...I felt great hope when I saw that LC.

I think there is a 'complete' set of emotions to go through before you can turn the page...anger, denial, despair, hatred, pain etc etc...it is hard to have hope but each day is a healing day....all of a sudden the chapter about the horror story is half way through, and then nearly finished and all of a sudden, the chapters finished and a new one begins.

I think I've got away from the point a bit...sorry...but I've written down how I feel and I know that this has helped me through the c**p in my life :-6

[weeder]

Yes, Helen Kubler Ross explored the process, and identified the stages, in her work. I do believe in fully experiencing the stages of grief when dealing with any of lifes traumas. I have also observed others going through these stages. Each stage can take a very long time, and stages we think weve completed, are often revisited, and repeated. Accepting each stage is not only healing, but an opportunity to grow. Trying to skip any phase of the process causes unresolved issues up the road. An old, and favorite book of mine is The Road Less Traveled.

I believe the opening sentence says something like this.. Life is difficult. Accept it, and know you will have to deal with every challenge it throws your way,or just give up now.

[Accountable]

I'm not sure the stages/phases are avoidable - not even sure it would be wise to avoid them. It looks like you're making your way through, though. I like the new sig.



And glad to see the av again!

[chonsigirl]

Life goes through stages, not exactly in the order they describe in books and psychology class. Some people can deal with them all, some cannot-if they are all valid insights into how the human heart sorts things out. I go through some of them, others I do not. Sometimes I stay in the denial phase, so I can get things done-to go on to the others is not helpful for me. But to work your way through the problem the best way you possibly can see, with the helped of loved ones, is the best solution. The rest is the difficult work that lies within your own soul. With the help of God.

[robinseggs]

kissedangel66 wrote: Lady cop what happened to your job?


Go to the "heartbroken" thread....

[robinseggs]

I have experienced all the stages mentioned, but never necessarily in the orders given in books. I think it depends on the tragedy....For example when my baby boy Daniel died premature in the delivery room. There was no denying it--he was gone. So I never went through a denial stage. But when my little girl was diagnosed with diabetes and almost died....yes, I sat there in that hospital in complete denial....I stared out the window and imagined taking her and flying out into freedom forever with her. No needles, no shots, no finger sticks, no feeling sick...not ever....I was in complete denial. In reality she was almost dead 3 doors down the hall in ICU due to a state of ketoacidosis. Life is interesting and how we deal with it is our reality......life is truly what we make of it. Even though i know I have gone thru the acceptance stage of her having diabetes, I still experience anger sometimes. If I really think about it all....what she has to go thru.....I want to slam my fist on the dashboard...but what I really do (and this may sound crazy, but has worked for over a year now) is when I am running on the treadmill... I imagine that diabetes is right on my heels and i am never going to let it defeat me!!!!!

[actionfigurestepho]

I went through the stages when The Boy was taken to the hospital as he was slipping into a diabetic coma, and I went through them again when I was in the hospital this past March. They say you can go through them in any order, they can overlap, and some you pass through more quickly than others. I think I've gone through all of them, but I can't seem to let go of "anger." I think some stages you can be stuck in for years.

[BabyRider]

kissedangel66 wrote: You are an individual. When the rest cool down I will tell you.


We will all be sitting here with bated breath, anticipating the wisdom you will so generously bestow upon us mere mortals. :yh_loser

[Accountable]

kissedangel66 wrote: You are an individual. When the rest cool down I will tell you.
My apologies for the confusion. I was referring to LadyCop's avatar & signature. I am glad you are healing as well. :-6