Requiem for the Banned

[AussiePam]

G'day Chezzie. Missed that one, but looks like he/she/it has now been relieved of his/her/its pain, and hopefully also his/her/its wings and wallet. I've always found that a hammer makes such a neat mess when artistically applied. How the heck are you??



A great way to silence a spammer

Is to clobber his ass with a hammer

Then spray him with mace

And dance on his face

That should put an end to his yammer

:sneaky:

I'm really a pussycat

I'm really a pussycat

I'm really a pussycat

Wouldn't hurt a fly..... Truly....

Attached files

[Chezzie]

AussiePam;1265080 wrote: G'day Chezzie. Missed that one, but looks like he/she/it has now been relieved of his/her/its pain, and hopefully also his/her/its wings and wallet. I've always found that a hammer makes such a neat mess when artistically applied. How the heck are you??



A great way to silence a spammer

It to clobber his ass with a hammer

Then spray him with mace

And dance on his face

That should put an end to his yammer

:sneaky:

I'm really a pussycat

I'm really a pussycat

I'm really a pussycat

Wouldn't hurt a fly..... Truly....


Im getting over flu or swine flu or whatever I have had, spent last week in bed, thank god for my laptop and sky tv in my room lol. I feel a little better but still short of breath and exhausted, my boss just rung as I was having a sever coughing fit and told me not to return back to work..yipppeee:D Usually id drag myself back but im going to stay off and get better properly...Glad you asked Pam?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Weather here is atrocious, im sure you have heard about Cumbria ect...Horrid but nice when your all warm and tucked up in the warm:-6

Im about to cook that dish Kathy posted in the xmas brekkie thread for my dinner so chow and hope your well and one more thing, did I tell you how talented you are? You little poems and ditties are fab, you should do a book:-6

Hope its cooler there for you today.

[AussiePam]

Chezzie;1265085 wrote: Im getting over flu or swine flu or whatever I have had, spent last week in bed, thank god for my laptop and sky tv in my room lol. I feel a little better but still short of breath and exhausted, my boss just rung as I was having a sever coughing fit and told me not to return back to work..yipppeee:D Usually id drag myself back but im going to stay off and get better properly...Glad you asked Pam?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Weather here is atrocious, im sure you have heard about Cumbria ect...Horrid but nice when your all warm and tucked up in the warm:-6

Im about to cook that dish Kathy posted in the xmas brekkie thread for my dinner so chow and hope your well and one more thing, did I tell you how talented you are? You little poems and ditties are fab, you should do a book:-6

Hope its cooler there for you today.


So sorry you've been sick, Chezzie. You poor thing (by the way, my comments in another place are absolutely not directed at you... you do fantastically, and with all your other responsibilities, even more so!! I agree with everything you said there). Hope you feel fully better soon.

Yes, I've been reading about Cumbria. Awful!!

I liked the look of Kathy's dish too - might fix that here one day.

The poems were fun.. grin. The limerick form is perfect for the elevated nature of these little requiems!!

Take care!!!

[G#Gill]

What a silly name has jdasiaujsa !

He tries his best to mess, but hey!

There's Mustang prancing into view

You're gone, jda, bye bye, toodloo !

[abbey]

Pam, could I please use the devil as my avatar?

Pretty please?

[AussiePam]

He is rather cute, Abbey - cute but lethal... A nice combo. He's yours!!!

[abbey]

Cheers me dear, I'm going to print that onto a T-shirt. :-6

[Odie]

abbey;1265201 wrote: Cheers me dear, I'm going to print that onto a T-shirt. :-6


sorry to interrupt, but you just look so cute.

love the green shoes!:guitarist

who's the gavol for?:sneaky:

[AussiePam]

G'day Odie. I hafta go out to a meet, but will be back later to write - in your honour - and it's a compliment... a special limerick Requiem for a Goldfish

On a tangent.. one of my favourite flute pieces is called...

Goldfish through summer rain - Anne Boyd

Goldfish through summer rain : for flute and piano by Anne Boyd : Work : Australian Music Centre

[Odie]

AussiePam;1265283 wrote: G'day Odie. I hafta go out to a meet, but will be back later to write - in your honour - and it's a compliment... a special limerick Requiem for a Goldfish

On a tangent.. one of my favourite flute pieces is called...

Goldfish through summer rain - Anne Boyd

Goldfish through summer rain : for flute and piano by Anne Boyd : Work : Australian Music Centre


G'day Mate!

I love your thread, but I am no good in poetry!:-5

Thank you for the compliment, but the link wouldn't open.



Have a greet meeting, and thanks for thinking of me.

[Oscar Namechange]

AussiePam;1265045 wrote: G'day Oscar - didn't know you knew LadyCop. Amazing how much "cross fertilisation" there seems to be on the web.
Yes, I have met with Lady Cop and what a great Lady?? Highly Intellegent and witty.... Shame I missed her here but as I said... Fate has played a hand and we have become good pals in the end. Cross Fertilisation??? I like that.... However, please could I not be cross fertalised with Spot?

[Bryn Mawr]

oscar;1265360 wrote: Yes, I have met with Lady Cop and what a great Lady?? Highly Intellegent and witty.... Shame I missed her here but as I said... Fate has played a hand and we have become good pals in the end. Cross Fertilisation??? I like that.... However, please could I not be cross fertalised with Spot?


The mind boggles - who knows what the offspring might be like :yh_alien2

[Oscar Namechange]

Bryn Mawr;1265364 wrote: The mind boggles - who knows what the offspring might be like :yh_alien2
The mere thought Is enough to keep one awake at night. :(:(

[AussiePam]

I'm sorry the link doesn't work for you, Odie. Amazon.com advertises a CD of Anne Boyd's work and you can listen to extracts - all are Asian inspired and totally beautiful. The Goldfish in Summer Rain is my absolute favourite.

There are only two pieces by Anne Boyd (that I can find) on YouTube.

YouTube - Bali Moods by Anne Boyd

Based on Balinese gamelan modes

and a very beautiful choral piece - Song of Rain

YouTube - A Song of Rain (Anne Boyd) SSAA Choir

I have sheet music of the Goldfish, somewhere.... maybe I can feel a flute session coming on - but first

------

A small fish the colour of gold

Found Canadian rain much too cold

So sought summer. This means

It got canned like sardines

For being too warm and too bold

[AussiePam]

I'm trying to excise from the single blonde neuron the thought of any kind of pollination/ fertilisation, cross or amicable, between the suggested contenders.

In fact I think I shall banish myself forthwith out of here entirely for a while. Do some work, then bake some Thanksgiving fare. I'm not even American and yet the expectations round here are that turkey will somehow appear on the table on Thursday followed by a home made pumpkin pie AND a home made pecan pie.

[Odie]

AussiePam;1265372 wrote: I'm sorry the link doesn't work for you, Odie. Amazon.com advertises a CD of Anne Boyd's work and you can listen to extracts - all are Asian inspired and totally beautiful. The Goldfish in Summer Rain is my absolute favourite.

There are only two pieces by Anne Boyd (that I can find) on YouTube.

YouTube - Bali Moods by Anne Boyd

Based on Balinese gamelan modes

and a very beautiful choral piece - Song of Rain

YouTube - A Song of Rain (Anne Boyd) SSAA Choir

I have sheet music of the Goldfish, somewhere.... maybe I can feel a flute session coming on - but first

------

A small fish the colour of gold

Found Canadian rain much too cold

So sought summer. This means

It got canned like sardines

For being too warm and too bold




but I wasn't being bold.:wah:



thanks Pam.:-4

[AussiePam]

I could have rhymed it with 'old'. 'Bold' is better.

I remember wearing a red dress to an Irish ceilí, a few years ago in Canberra - and realising that while I was fluting with the other musos, who all happened to be blokes, the ladies were talking about me in the kitchen. I was a bad/bold girl, because of the red, and because of playing with the men... grin..

Is cailín dána mise ar fad - I'm entirely bold and bad, to be sure I am, and proud of it!!!

[Odie]

AussiePam;1265381 wrote: I could have rhymed it with 'old'. 'Bold' is better.

I remember wearing a red dress to an Irish ceilí, a few years ago in Canberra - and realising that while I was fluting with the other musos, who all happened to be blokes, the ladies were talking about me in the kitchen. I was a bad/bold girl, because of the red, and because of playing with the men... grin..

Is cailín dána mise ar fad - I'm entirely bold and bad, to be sure I am, and proud of it!!!


:yh_rotfl yes bold is definitely better!

just joking anyway, you did marvelous!:-6



nothing wrong with being bold and bad, a girl's gotta have a little fun.:wah:

[mikeinie]

Wick3d d3vi4nt she was not

(Although her pics were kind of hot)

She did something before

Which meant she's here no more

Somehow she cheated

her words were deleted

her mission defeated

As bad as things got

I'm kind of sorry she's not

here on the trot

anymore

[AussiePam]

'Sex, Lies and Politics', Mike

Has put many scalps on the spike.

Back room lobby and rort, Cheri

With unbridled debauchery.

It's a movie I think I might like.



Sex, Lies and Politics - Trailer - Cast - Showtimes - NYTimes.com

[Saint_]

mikeinie;1265456 wrote: Wick3d d3vi4nt she was not

(Although her pics were kind of hot)

She did something before

Which meant she's here no more

Somehow she cheated

her words were deleted

her mission defeated

As bad as things got

I'm kind of sorry she's not

here on the trot

anymore


:wah:Good one!

[Saint_]

Like a Bat out of Hell she did ride

from Forumgarden's front to its side

But her manner abrasive

And PMs evasive

forced Babyrider's glide to a slide...

:rolleyes:

[Rapunzel]

Saint_;1265627 wrote: Like a Bat out of Hell she did ride

from Forumgarden's front to its side

But her manner abrasive

And PMs evasive

forced Babyrider's glide to a slide...

:rolleyes:


On her bike she had a view

And travelled on it to pastures new

I didn't think that she was banned

But rather, on the other hand

Decided on a different pew.

[Rapunzel]

Oscar's Happy Anniversary thread

By fantastics111 was spoil-ed

But Peter knew he was a sinner

And cooked his giblets up for dinner

Then served him with some crusty bread.

Not great, but I tried. :wah:

[Odie]

rapunzel;1265640 wrote: oscar's happy anniversary thread

by fantastics111 was spoil-ed

but peter knew he was a sinner

and cooked his giblets up for dinner

then served him with some crusty bread.

Not great, but i tried. :wah:

[Rapunzel]

Odie;1265819 wrote:



Lol! Cheers! Cute smiley! :-6

[G-man]

This has got to be the most brilliant thread I've seen all year! I love all of the brilliant poetry! I can also see this thread quickly turning south, however. :wah:

[Rapunzel]

G-man;1265835 wrote: This has got to be the most brilliant thread I've seen all year! I love all of the brilliant poetry! I can also see this thread quickly turning south, however. :wah:


Well, the thread started with Pammie, so I guess, like TLW, it wants to end up with Pammie!

[AussiePam]

I really have very seriously tried to steer this thread away from where it keeps trying to go. The deserving and undeserving heroic banned have lots of other places to pop up in - and it rarely ends well.

I intended the thread to be light and bright, creatively unforgiving and full of gratuitous violence, murder and mayhem. I wanted it to deal with the faceless small trolls we never knew, couldn't know - rather than people some of us are fond of, or friends with or arch enemies of.

Now I'm sitting here looking at the screen wondering whether to pen a Requiem for a Requiem limerick, a defiant in your face bring it all on I'm bad and don't give a toss limerick, or go and have my lunch. We were recently told that starting a thread conveys no special privileges anyway. Lunch sounds good...



:sneaky:

[chonsigirl]

lox and bagel

sit on the table

next to the lamp

with a little Champs

........

Oh, a fifth line.....I was munching away.................:wah:

[G#Gill]

AussiePam;1265855 wrote: I really have very seriously tried to steer this thread away from where it keeps trying to go. The deserving and undeserving heroic banned have lots of other places to pop up in - and it rarely ends well.

I intended the thread to be light and bright, creatively unforgiving and full of gratuitous violence, murder and mayhem. I wanted it to deal with the faceless small trolls we never knew, couldn't know - rather than people some of us are fond of, or friends with or arch enemies of.

Now I'm sitting here looking at the screen wondering whether to pen a Requiem for a Requiem limerick, a defiant in your face bring it all on I'm bad and don't give a toss limerick, or go and have my lunch. We were recently told that starting a thread conveys no special privileges anyway. Lunch sounds good...



:sneaky:


Ere Pam, I have been trying, honest ! :-1

[G#Gill]

Oaoufioas, what a name !!!!!!! :rolleyes:

He tried it in his 'sig' - again ! :sneaky:

But Mustang galloped, very rapid, :driving:

Beat Chonsi (faster than her rabbit!) :p



:p :p :p :p :p

[AussiePam]

AussiePam;1265855 wrote: I really have very seriously tried



:sneaky:


Bugger seriousness. And bugger trying too. Too much effort sux. It's amazing how laid back eating a cheese and tomato sandwich on rather stale but nicely chewy bread makes a girl feel. The fig that followed (just coming into season here) was also yummy... I do like figs. Maybe it's the voluptuous shape of them... um...

So another poor clueless loser has been mashed... LOVELY !! I missed that entirely.. But I have a visual of Mustang nobly rising to the occasion and delivering a well aimed swipe with what I hope was a very blunt, knobbly instrument. More trauma that way, more interesting blood spatter... :sneaky:

[AussiePam]

A fine travel agent called Ryan

- No insult so far, so no cryan -

Mods probably nabbed him

But nobody stabbed him

He was sellin but we just weren't buyan

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/trave ... ost1248051

------

This Requiem thread for the Banned

Sometimes flows through my fingers like sand

But thankfully, Gill

It's all grist to the mill

Only boring things go as we planned

[AussiePam]

(Pam enters stage left)

Friends, Animals of the Land, Fish of the Sea, I come to bury this thread not to praise it.

(Pam strides to centre stage, and the single dimmed spotlight catches her pale, tortured face, wracked with cosmic angst and existential artfulness)

This thread was elegiac, an elevated and elevating paean to the not so dearly departed, an immoral offering to Calliope, Muse of High Poetry.

(Stage sigh)

I gave it my all, my life blood, every last drop of creative juice, the sweat of my keyboard, my wine stained tears (sad smile).



(Dramatic pause - a hint of blues music can be heard, and the melancholy skyirl o bagpipes)

Anyone can of course hang out here, and if they misunderstand the intent, don't get the humour, wring their hands, that is their right. Odie who is sweet and pleasant of course is entitled to her opinions, and as far as I can see in FG, expresses them freely and frequently.

I too have some needs. (Pause for effect) And if I want to throw a wobbly in the thread I started, I shall do so. So there!!! We arteestes are soooo misunderstood.... (the spotlight illumines a single tear which flows sadly southwards).

(With yet another mournful sigh.... Pam, lowers her face, and exits stage right,... the spotlight dims to darkness)



FLOUNCE FLOUNCE FLOUNCE FLOUNCE

S L A M



(The curtain falls)

:sneaky:

[Bryn Mawr]

AussiePam;1266179 wrote:

FLOUNCE FLOUNCE FLOUNCE FLOUNCE

S L A M



(The curtain falls)

:sneaky:






A magnificent performance Maam :-6

[Rapunzel]

Bryn Mawr;1266186 wrote:



A magnificent performance Maam :-6


Lol! It was indeed a wonderful perfomance Pam although I missed some of the finer points of dramatic melancholia as I had dripped my icecream down my dress.

Seriously, It's a wonderful fun thread, I don't know why you aren't proud of it.

Unless you were aiming for Shakespearian delights whilst we all prefer farce and comedy. You're too high-brow for us sweetie. You drink champers, we drink coke. You ride in a chauffeur-driven stretch limo, we ride in old jalopies. You ski in mountain resorts, we slide down snowy hills on tea trays. We just aint in your class, me dear, it doesn't mean we don't appreciate your brilliant wit and wisdom, it just means we aint smart enuff to come up wiv all the high-fallutin' stuff that you come up with so easily.

[G#Gill]

I wish I was a little frog............................

Life would be such a farce .........................

To climb upon the rocks and trees ...........................

And slide down on my ...................................

.......................................................

...........................................

.....................................

Hands and knees ..........













Farewell sweet thread........................ twas fun while it lasted ......................

The spammers we ridiculed .......................... their cred ..... we blasted ! :yh_rotfl



Thanks Pam :-4

[AussiePam]

Um... er.. thankyou Rapunzel, Bryn, Gill.

And I'd like to thank everyone who came in here. I honestly haven't had a good verbal wank in ages - and had almost forgotten how much I'd missed it. For a few mad moments it put a spark in my eye and hairs on my chest. I'm sorry it didn't work out for everyone. The middle of the thread now appears to have been excised and has landed elsewhere - passworded so I apparently can't access it, even though it appears in my list of subscribed threads - so presumably contains stuff I've written.

Anyway, if anyone feels like pm-ing me the password, I may briefly go where angels would fear to tread. I'll probably regret it... grin.

In the meantime, we're getting close to the evening of Thanksgiving Day here Down Under - I know it seems odd we get there before American Forum Gardeners - but Aussies are a speedy lot (and we celebrate EVERYTHING). I've got family coming - and turkey in the oven... and home baked pumpkin pie and pecan pie in the fridge, so I'll be off. Take care, All !!! xxx

[abbey]

Pam, it's tells you at the top of the forum. :-6





Compost Pile This is an area that contains threads that went off course. Password: dirtflies **Participate here at your OWN risk.

[AussiePam]

Much obliged.

It's not my usual thing to quote anything biblical - but there's a verse I particularly like in Ecclesiastes: "God made man simple; man's complex problems are of his own devising [Ecc 7:29]



This thread is past its use by date. It got a bit off track and we've run out of trolls.

BUT - perhaps, down the track a bit, a new thread will be born, naked and unashamed, wacky and wicked - arising like a phoenix from the ashes, bursting like a ripe pustule upon the fruitful face of Forum Garden, spreading jolliness and germs.

Stay tuned for the next exciting.....

Oh, we're out of time... G'night.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:-6

[flopstock]

AussiePam;1266390 wrote: Much obliged.



It's not my usual thing to quote anything biblical - but there's a verse I particularly like in Ecclesiastes: "God made man simple; man's complex problems are of his own devising [Ecc 7:29]





This thread is past its use by date. It got a bit off track and we've run out of trolls.



BUT - perhaps, down the track a bit, a new thread will be born, naked and unashamed, wacky and wicked - arising like a phoenix from the ashes, bursting like a ripe pustule upon the fruitful face of Forum Garden, spreading jolliness and germs.



Stay tuned for the next exciting.....



Oh, we're out of time... G'night.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



:-6


Happy thanksgiving ms AP:-4:-6

[AussiePam]

Floppy - I'm so full, I think I'm going to burst. The turkey was awesome, and so were the pies... I have sent care packages of pie to my sister, and my younger daughter has taken some to give to American colleagues at work tomorrow... Just as well, Thanksgiving isn't every day, or my waistline is totally f*&^ed. Grin. Hope you have a good one!!!! Thanksgiving, I mean, not waist line... :sneaky: Well, waistline too...

[Ahso!]

AussiePam;1264357 wrote: She was a girl all nice and smiley

Hello, she said imsarahmiley

We don't know what she came to sell

The excommunication bell

With book and candle tolled its knell

And banned her bootie down to hell

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/intro ... 1990Thanks for a great thread, Pam. As a parting gift to sarahsmiley and a nice melody to say G'day to the the elegance that is you, Pam. YouTube - Hall & Oates-Sara Smile

[mikeinie]

An so with heavy heart

And pen in hand

This poetic threads comes to an end

We celebrated foe and friends

With poems, limericks, and theatrical ends

The author of this play has said

This post was good but now is dead

Some had thought we went too far

To remember the banned

And close the scars

Remember dear friends here in FG

This place is as great as we make it to be

So in a world that is full of woe

FG is a great place for us to go

For here in front of my computer screen

I speak to people I have never seen

With no borders or passport controls

People are free to come and go

Some may love and some may not

But to express their opinion is the right we’ve got

So let’s remember in the grand scale of life

Meeting here is a pretty alright.

[Ahso!]

mikeinie;1266398 wrote: An so with heavy heart

And pen in hand

This poetic threads comes to an end

We celebrated foe and friends

With poems, limericks, and theatrical ends

The author of this play has said

This post was good but now is dead

Some had thought we went too far

To remember the banned

And close the scars

Remember dear friends here in FG

This place is as great as we make it to be

So in a world that is full of woe

FG is a great place for us to go

For here in front of my computer screen

I speak to people I have never seen

With no borders or passport controls

People are free to come and go

Some may love and some may not

But to express their opinion is the right we’ve got

So let’s remember in the grand scale of life

Meeting here is a pretty alright.:yh_worshp

[spot]

ForumGarden set out to define

Ads for personal finance online

As over the top

So they really must stop

Which means dear is about to resign

[G#Gill]

You noticed, again, eagle-eyed Spot

This spammer 'dear' thought himself hot !

So along rides Mustang like a knight of old,

And ushers with foot, dear's out in the cold ! :wah:

[G#Gill]

guinghds thought he could distract us :sneaky:

quoting pressies for the masses! :rolleyes:

But Peg jumped in and wiped his 'sig' :p

She's quick, you know it, is that Peg ! :yh_rotfl

[spot]

Gill, the only authentic rhyme for sig is pig, I'm not sure you should get away with that. Peg might skin you.