Requiem for the Banned

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Dec 19, 2009 1:35 pm

Pam pushes open the creaking crypt door.. a bat flaps in welcome... spiders skitter over the fallen stone angels. Gargoyles and other detritus blown in by the cyber winds moan mournfully in the sputtering candle light. Dust to dust... Zeros and ones to ones and zeros.

Is it time to decompose another epitaph??

Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, ... um... no, wrong lot.. Bring me your trolls and spammers!!! *

*You can bring me others for discreet dispatch too, for the usual fee, place in brown paper bag in third trashcan outside FG backdoor.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 20, 2009 6:43 pm

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/trave ... ost1274654

Sadcapstri had to hit the road

His baggage was not safely stowed

Now squirrel-nibbled in the slammer

He'll cop the fate of every spammer

Mustang's sword or Abbey's hammer

Then lightened of his earthly load

He'll get a fitting funeral ode.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:22 pm

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/intro ... ost1274674

Decklingbrain got brained and how

And so he's only deckling now.

No heckling - for in five words he

Met a blunt instrument. Now free

Of mortal coil all mournfully

He deckles for eternity

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:01 pm

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/reque ... ost1276064

Brifirsti , thirsty for spam pay

Tripped to the Garden blythe and gay

But only Mods came out to play

Outfoxing him on Boxing Day

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:40 pm

I like it, Pam ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:57 pm

spot;1272718 wrote: Rap, not only is oanadoledo not banned, oanadoledo is a member in good standing on ForumGarden. You might not like oanadoledo's posts but you can't start a crusade against a newbie just for that.

FYI Oanadoledo appeared and made 9 posts in 22 minutes. He appeared to be heading rapidly towards his 15th post where he could leave a link, until I questioned it, when he promptly disappeared without trace.

It wasn't a crusade but he can hardly be called a 'member in good standing' either as all 9 posts were brief and basically rubbish. Stop being so quick to jump the gun . . . the great and mighty Oz...er...Spot, gets it wrong sometimes too, y'know?

As a btw, why do all these banned folks choose the lit candle avatar, if they choose one at all? *scratches head*

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:58 pm

G#Gill;1276082 wrote: I like it, Pam ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Me too!

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:29 pm

Oot frae the bogs and moorrs he strrode

Baring his standards decked in woad

He came politically tae nag us

With dirk and caber braw tae shag us

But daen by mods the mon was mowed

And noo his sporran's naught but haggis

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/probl ... -rule.html

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:18 pm

They don't believe in a Christmas break, do they ? :-5

There was mazlam222

Trying to flog mobiles to me and you, :p

Are but Carla, with eyes so keen, :sneaky:

Took up her brush and swept him clean ! :guitarist :yh_rotfl

Oh, mazlam, mazlam, hang your head.

Your huge long post is gone, is dead.

You tried so hard with your copy and paste.

Too bad, you were dispatched with all haste ! :p:p:p

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:31 pm

G#Gill;1276480 wrote: They don't believe in a Christmas break, do they ? :-5

There was mazlam222

Trying to flog mobiles to me and you, :p

Are but Carla, with eyes so keen, :sneaky:

Took up her brush and swept him clean ! :guitarist :yh_rotfl

Oh, mazlam, mazlam, hang your head.

Your huge long post is gone, is dead.

You tried so hard with your copy and paste.

Too bad, you were dispatched with all haste ! :p:p:p

Very good Gill :yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:16 pm

G#Gill;1276480 wrote: They don't believe in a Christmas break, do they ? :-5

There was mazlam222

Trying to flog mobiles to me and you, :p

Are but Carla, with eyes so keen, :sneaky:

Took up her brush and swept him clean ! :guitarist :yh_rotfl

Oh, mazlam, mazlam, hang your head.

Your huge long post is gone, is dead.

You tried so hard with your copy and paste.

Too bad, you were dispatched with all haste ! :p:p:p

Excellent, my Sister-in-Killing - you have poetically dispatched this evil troll with style and wit. :sneaky:

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 4:00 pm

AussiePam;1276490 wrote: Excellent, my Sister-in-Killing - you have poetically dispatched this evil troll with style and wit. :sneaky:

Well thank you sweet wordsmith, for the condiments !

I thought I would nick it before you did, as I thought it may be easier to rhyme :yh_rotfl:sneaky:

(did you notice my sneaky spelling correction ?

)

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:08 pm

Oh dear, the French are trying hard

To break our rules, he's such a card -

This sirrudmas, thought he'd last hours,

But Mustang kicked him in the Gauloise !

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:52 pm

G#Gill;1276546 wrote: Oh dear, the French are trying hard

To break our rules, he's such a card -

This sirrudmas, thought he'd last hours,

But Mustang kicked him in the Gauloise !

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Mustang's a good egg!:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:53 pm

OOOPs Gill - that sounds painful. A Frenchman would offer his cul or even his couilles for kicking before his gauloises!!! On the subject of male pain and suffering, I note that you dealt very nicely with Mazlam's huge, long baguette. :sneaky:

When trolls are drôle and wit is gallic

You can be sure things will go phallic

Attached files

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:03 pm

G#Gill;1276480 wrote: They don't believe in a Christmas break, do they ? :-5

There was mazlam222

Trying to flog mobiles to me and you, :p

Are but Carla, with eyes so keen, :sneaky:

Took up her brush and swept him clean ! :guitarist :yh_rotfl

Oh, mazlam, mazlam, hang your head.

Your huge long post is gone, is dead.

You tried so hard with your copy and paste.

Too bad, you were dispatched with all haste ! :p:p:p

that was good Gill!:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:45 pm

But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,

Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;

I, that am rudely stamped, and want love's majesty

To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;

I, that am curtailed of this fair proportion,

Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,

Deformed, unfinished, sent before my time

Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,

And that so lamely and unfashionable

That dogs bark at me as I halt by them.

Richard III. 1. 1

By the pricking of my thumbs

I smell a troll who this way comes

Sometimes of course the line is thin

Twixt trolls without and trolls within

The world's a stage and merriment

Shall thaw the winter of our discontent

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:37 pm

From 'Bouquets and brickbats' thread.

Ere we're getting very quick

To stop the spammers, oh their cheek !

8.41 spammer ashculash

8.45 Gill kicked his rump! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl (well you can make it rhyme)

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:48 pm

G#Gill;1276803 wrote: From 'Bouquets and brickbats' thread.

Ere we're getting very quick

To stop the spammers, oh their cheek !

8.41 spammer ashculash

8.45 Gill kicked his rump! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl (well you can make it rhyme)

Blimey Gilly - you sure do like to spatter blood around.. pant pant pant...

You're really getting very quick

To give them bastards all the flick

Ashculash I never saw

Before you chucked him out the door

And showed him what your boots are for

With well placed skillful final kick

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:54 am

Dick123 came to see

If we would buy what he was selling thee

He had home management advice

and good tax tips

on how to make claims on making business trips

but one mistake 123 made

was not avoiding the edge

of the moderators blade

he didn’t last long

and his article is gone

and Dick123

will no longer be

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:19 am

Aha, Mikiene ! You beat us to it, and I'd got a little rhymette ready ! (It was a bit naughty, so praps it's just as well you got in first !

). Well it will keep for any other 'stupid boy Pike' who tries to run the gauntlet on FG. :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

It's good to see more members joining in this little classy thread with some very good ditties !

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 11:04 am

bricapspi thought he'd been so clever

'Slipping' in his advert post

'30 more years to go till retirement'

He's just been 'retired' - much sooner than most ! :p:p :yh_rotfl :rolleyes:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 11:05 am

G#Gill;1277050 wrote: bricapspi thought he'd been so clever

'Slipping' in his advert post

'30 more years to go till retirement'

He's just been 'retired' - much sooner than most ! :p:p :yh_rotfl :rolleyes:

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

that one was really good Gill!:-6

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:33 pm

G'day!! Ah they got Richard III, Dick123? Was it the 16th post that undid him? I gotta go see in a minute. That was a fine hunt... Tally Hooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just had visions of us all dressed in pink, on horseback leaping over the stone walls of Cotswold fields through winter snow... in pursuit of the inedible...

Small person is on the phone in the next room (6:30am!) and I'm hearing that his cat, out on the farm, actually caught and ate a mouse....

Which brings me back to Dick123. I'm sure he would have been able to provide many useful household tips on the proper preparation of troll pie.

-------------------------------------

His postings numbered just eleven

Then he was sent to spammer heaven

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 12:15 pm

And the next for the cooking pot :yh_rotfl

A likely lad called leonad,

Tried his hand at being bad.

The latest craze he thought he'd try.

He advertised in his sig ........... my, my !

But he hadn't realised that mrsK

Was 'on the ball' and, may I say -

She don't dither, she's straight in !

Poor lad's been atomised - for his sin ! :p

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 12:28 pm

Nice one, Gill - and we're cooking them now? Great idea. Waste not, want not?

I can see the menu:

Troll and guinness pie

Battered troll and fish

Barbecued troll Ã l'ancienne

Troll crepes with garlic mushrooms

Fricassée de troll aux fines herbes

Troll in the hole

Boiled troll with carrots and carroway seed dumplings

Troll kebabs

Troll tenders with sweet and sour sauce

Spaghetti and trollballs

Baked seasoned troll

And of course a wine list to match each exotic item of cuisine trollée.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 12:44 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Excellent !!!!! What a banquet we will have !!!

I really hope these gorgeous sounding dishes don't look like this ...................

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 5:36 pm

That does look a bit nasty, Gill.

No - troll should cook up pretty well. Might need a bit of tenderising. Abbey's hammer would work. Or we can marinate it.

Teriyaki troll

Troll sushi

Trolls we've had to hunt for days might be a bit more gamey than the ones shot down in their prime... For them I envisage long slow cooking, perhaps with juniper berries and a pastry crust. A good burgundy might suit. What do you think?

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:03 pm

Just a small part of the selection of delicious dishes made possible by the kind and fortuitous availability of our delectable trolls and spammers ! :sneaky:

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:08 pm

..................... and some more !

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:16 pm

OOOOH I like that, Gilly.

I should be tidying up here, or in the kitchen cooking non-troll stuff like shortbread biscuits - but this is more fun.

Just got a call to say the first of my guests are about to arrive (it's just gone midday) and the roads here get locked down shortly so everyone comes early... I mean it's twelve hours till the New Year and the main fireworks.. still.. there's already lots of yahooing in the streets, and people trying to triple park and smuggle in booze and all that naughty kind of thing....

Should we post a requiem for 2009? Was it a troll of a year? Actually it was - as a whole - a very positive one here. Two of my kids came back to Australia, are now employed and looking good. The other one is okay at the moment. I sold the Canberra house and moved fully to Sydney and am finally driving here without shytting myself every two seconds. Small person is much more settled and doing well at school - he just needed to be allowed to go to school. And the worst of the financial crisis seems over at least in the Land Down Under. Yep, all in all, not too bad. We have limped through to 2010... with heads still above the rising waters.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:46 pm

AussiePam;1277554 wrote: OOOOH I like that, Gilly.

I should be tidying up here, or in the kitchen cooking non-troll stuff like shortbread biscuits - but this is more fun.

Just got a call to say the first of my guests are about to arrive (it's just gone midday) and the roads here get locked down shortly so everyone comes early... I mean it's twelve hours till the New Year and the main fireworks.. still.. there's already lots of yahooing in the streets, and people trying to triple park and smuggle in booze and all that naughty kind of thing....

Should we post a requiem for 2009? Was it a troll of a year? Actually it was - as a whole - a very positive one here. Two of my kids came back to Australia, are now employed and looking good. The other one is okay at the moment. I sold the Canberra house and moved fully to Sydney and am finally driving here without shytting myself every two seconds. Small person is much more settled and doing well at school - he just needed to be allowed to go to school. And the worst of the financial crisis seems over at least in the Land Down Under. Yep, all in all, not too bad. We have limped through to 2010... with heads still above the rising waters.

Oh Pam,

I just love you and family and cherish all of your thoughts. Wishing you and kidlets all the best New Year and am so happy that things are a bit better:-4

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:50 pm

Kathy Ellen;1277560 wrote: Oh Pam,

I just love you and family and cherish all of your thoughts. Wishing you and kidlets all the best New Year and am so happy that things are a bit better:-4

Love you too, Kathy!!! And didja see, it's arrived, in amazingly excellent time - ze traveling tee shirt. Right now it's sitting watching all the suff going on round the harbour. Still a little jet lagged, but looking kind of smug. Probably reckons it'll get champers. Photos will be taken. Wish it's mum was here!!!!

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:24 am

On Dec 31 1999

the bells round the world for a new millennium chimed

there were dreams of peace, love and hope

for the century past we could barley cope

We were to learn from the 100 years past

and to the future bring prosperity to last

But so, now, the first decade has come and gone

and the errors of the past just keep living on

The first 10 years have seen war and pain

and an economic crash the bankers just can’t explain

Evil and greed and hate still live on

though we try, pray and hope it will one day be gone

In 2010, maybe this decade will be

the moment of truth that we all hope to see

Where the leaders will learn once and for all

that it is peace, love and sharing that will conquer all

As we say good-bye to 2009

and we leave the first decade behind

Here is hoping that at least all those here on FG

will have a prosperous New Year, as a New Year can be

And has this poem comes to an end

here is to you all in for the year 2010

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 4:43 am

Very nice one, Mike!!

Humans are humans. Do we ever learn?

Very best wishes to you and your dear ones too, for 2010!!

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:04 am

There once was a spammer named Peter Dow

Who seemed to leaver spam where ever he’d go

He begged and he pleaded for his writing to be seen

Bust was constantly banned due to post rule 15

Despite his good efforts and pleading his case

He has been banned and is out of this place

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:35 am

Hic

Happy New Year, Mike... ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Attached files

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:39 am

Get ready to rhyme with tights :sneaky:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:51 pm

Arghhgghggh hangover... arghghgh.. and yer tellin g me there's work to be done... arghghhgh

tights??

fights

bites

shytes

frights

flying kites

white nights

white Knights

hate heights

by rights

sights, sites,

the eyes of his whites

groan

turn out the lights

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:56 pm

AussiePam;1277765 wrote: Arghhgghggh hangover... arghghgh.. and yer tellin g me there's work to be done... arghghhgh

tights??

fights

bites

shytes

frights

flying kites

white nights

white Knights

hate heights

by rights

sights, sites,

the eyes of his whites

groan

turn out the lights

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Tue Jan 05, 2010 4:52 pm

HouseOfCards, the evil one

Amphetamines tried to promo some

He tried to sell em in a story

Now he's disposed of - very gorey !

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:55 pm

Don't tell me I missed an amphetamine peddling House of Cards!!!???!! I must be slipping. :sneaky:

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:48 am

I'm just startled by the number who've come and gone and I've never noticed (hello clouds, hello sky... :wah:).

Still, it's good to know they are sent on their way appropriately mourned.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:50 am

Clodhopper;1279603 wrote: I'm just startled by the number who've come and gone and I've never noticed (hello clouds, hello sky... :wah:).

Still, it's good to know they are sent on their way appropriately mourned.

what I am finding, its recently now and more frequent?

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:15 am

Rossruther was another one :rolleyes:

His sig he put a link upon

Along comes Betty, feeling strong,

Swift kick she did, ( ee doan stay long! ) :p :wah:

NB - Please read the bracketed words in a Cornish accent. Sorry

I forgot to mention that before:wah:

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:21 am

G#Gill;1279619 wrote: Rossruther was another one :rolleyes:

His sig he put a link upon

Along comes Betty, feeling strong,

Swift kick she did, ( ee don't stay long! ) :p :wah:

Earlier today I saw Rossruther

And wondered if he was another

I saw he'd bumped a very old post

Went to look, but he was toast.

Nice one BB.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:14 pm

Rapunzel - pass me a slice of that toast please. It's me brekkie time, Down Under.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:54 am

Giantmonster tried his hand

At advertising office space

In his sig he thought he'd found

A crafty way to sell his place.

Of course he failed, he hadn't seen

Our Betty Boop - now he has been

Brought down in size, been chopped to pieces

You silly boy, you're her stress releases ! :yh_rotfl :p

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:19 am

Well what a silly name htyngoc2010 ! :yh_rotfl

You try to free advertise yet again

We know that you re-register as another

But our mods can see the same old author.

So get you hence you parasite

Carla and co will set you right! :p

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:56 pm

Coconut came to sell cookies,

of course I had a lookies,

But mod overrules

even over drools

banned a safe bet for the bookies!