Fallout of writing a will

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 10:47 am

oscar;1438107 wrote: She has a son whom I'm sure as an adult will wish to make provisions for her.

And yet you recommend that she pays £6 a month from her benefits, now, into a funeral policy? I haven't gone into how utterly lousy that advice is even if nobody in the community, son or otherwise, were to arrange her funeral, but I suggest you lay out the sums in the thread if you really think it's cost-effective.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 10:52 am

Quote Originally Posted by oscar

She has a son whom I'm sure as an adult will wish to make provisions for her.

You can't ever be sure of that statement, oscar, Ever! And believe me, I'm not taking sides!!!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:00 am

TÃ½r;1438108 wrote: And yet you recommend that she pays £6 a month from her benefits, now, into a funeral policy? I haven't gone into how utterly lousy that advice is even if nobody in the community, son or otherwise, were to arrange her funeral, but I suggest you lay out the sums in the thread if you really think it's cost-effective. My concern at the time was It was obviously a huge worry to her that her son would get her possessions and these not be taken to pay back the council. I suggested that for peace of mind she could take out a funeral plan for as little as £6 a month If that was worth It to her simply to put her mind at rest.

It Is an option that she can choose to take or not take.

What I didn't want was her lulled Into a false sense of security that her funeral would be totally free and then upon her death, have her son deprived of her wishes.

At Age Concern our training tells us that every case when It comes to funerals, wills, estates etc Is wholly unique depending on the deceased circumstances. One set of rules for one may not apply to another and each case has to be treated Individually. We are also advised to plain speaking pointing out the pro's and con's of what could happen and offering ways of giving that person peace of mind. That's all I tried to do with Aura however sinister you attempt to make my Intentions.

I have offered a way she can have total peace of mind. I have also advised her to make a will stating she wishes her son to have her possessions to safeguard her from other family taking over as she was concerned about this.

I have since wrote a post today In her original thread that If she's In good health, to leave the funeral plan until her son is adult and she can get a low cost over 50's policy to save paying out now.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:08 am

oscar;1438112 wrote: What I didn't want was her lulled Into a false sense of security that her funeral would be totally free
Nowhere have I said, suggested or even hinted that her funeral would be totally free in any circumstances. I take exception to your repeatedly trying to smear me with the imputation that I have.

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:24 am

TÃ½r;1438108 wrote: And yet you recommend that she pays £6 a month from her benefits, now, into a funeral policy? I haven't gone into how utterly lousy that advice is even if nobody in the community, son or otherwise, were to arrange her funeral, but I suggest you lay out the sums in the thread if you really think it's cost-effective.

If paying out £6.00 a month gives Aura some peace of mind, I think it's an excellent idea. I left it until my early 60's and my insurance costs me nearly 6 times that much.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:26 am

With all the threads Aura starts asking for advice on purchasing items, it sounds as though 6 pounds a month wouldn't be a terrible hardship.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:31 am

Týr;1438116 wrote: Nowhere have I said, suggested or even hinted that her funeral would be totally free in any circumstances. I take exception to your repeatedly trying to smear me with the imputation that I have. Tyr please stop with the persecution complex.

I am not trying to smear you. You pointed her to a site titled ' Destitution Funeral's which stated that In some cases, the funeral would be totally free. That was misleading to her circumstances because she has family and possessions.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:35 am

oscar;1438121 wrote: I am not trying to smear you. You pointed her to a site titled ' Destitution Funeral's which stated that In some cases, the funeral would be totally free.

Go on, I'll bite again. Cornwall Council - Environmental Protection - Destitute Funerals is the page. Where on that page is it "stated that In some cases, the funeral would be totally free"? What words are you looking at, please?

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:38 am

SnoozeAgain;1438120 wrote: With all the threads Aura starts asking for advice on purchasing items, it sounds as though 6 pounds a month wouldn't be a terrible hardship.

You & I, Snooze, are superfluous to this conversation!

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:40 am

theia;1438118 wrote: If paying out £6.00 a month gives Aura some peace of mind, I think it's an excellent idea. I left it until my early 60's and my insurance costs me nearly 6 times that much.
If it did then if she has that sort of money sloshing around uncommitted then it might be, yes. What I've taken exception to is oscar, after repeated promises to get off my back, posting "Sorry Aura but Tyr's post Is totally Inaccurate" on this site. Especially when it's not true, as it is in this case.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:43 am

AnneBoleyn;1438124 wrote: You & I, Snooze, are superfluous to this conversation!

I know, it's kind of liberating! Lets flash our boobs.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 12:07 pm

AnneBoleyn;1438124 wrote: You & I, Snooze, are superfluous to this conversation!

The tragedy is that Aura is superfluous too.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 12:24 pm

Bruv;1438132 wrote: The tragedy is that Aura is superfluous too.

Aura's original thread is still there, all this junk was taken out by the moderators to leave hers as clean as was possible.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 1:08 pm

Týr;1438123 wrote: Go on, I'll bite again. Cornwall Council - Environmental Protection - Destitute Funerals is the page. Where on that page is it "stated that In some cases, the funeral would be totally free"? What words are you looking at, please?

Posted by Tyr... post 24 original thread.

"if nobody volunteers to pay for your funeral, then there's a legal obligation on your local council to see that you get a proper funeral in a dignified fashion"

This can be misleading to Aura. You are basically telling her that If her family choose not to pay, then the council will do It and you are Implying It would be free.ie the council would meet the cost. What you failed to tell her was that If she left assets, the council can recover the costs.

First sentence from your link:

We have a public health duty to bury or cremate the body of any person who has died within the county and where it appears to the Council that no suitable arrangements have been or are being made for the disposal of the body.

To Aura, this could mislead her Into a false sense of security that the council will arrange the funeral ie free with no comeback on assets.

After all, you have critisized me for suggesting a basic funeral plan so her son can Inherit her assets. So, you're now saying I was right all along and the Council can take her furnature to offset the costs.

In fact, you went as far as to write:

Posted by Tyr

Aura, people are quite likely worrying you for no good reason in this thread. Don't go out wasting your money on a savings plan to cover the cost of your funeral.

What you suggested or could be misleading to her Is that no-one needs a funeral plan because the council will pay for It for free.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 1:41 pm

oscar;1438142 wrote: What you suggested or could be misleading to her Is that no-one needs a funeral plan because the council will pay for It for free.
No, oscar. That doesn't follow from anything you've written in that post. It's a wrong conclusion. It's a dishonest conclusion. It's a refusal on your part to post anything but a self-serving distortion of what's actually happened. I'm quite happy for you to do it because it's plain to whoever else reads the thread. The honest reply, which you're refusing to give, is that your text "You pointed her to a site titled ' Destitution Funeral's which stated that In some cases, the funeral would be totally free" is actually untrue.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 1:46 pm

Týr;1438134 wrote: Aura's original thread is still there, all this junk was taken out by the moderators to leave hers as clean as was possible.

With all due respect to both the warring factors.................sometimes biting one's tongue is the best policy.

(I am feeling sorry for dirtying my feet in this thread now myself)

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sat Oct 19, 2013 10:57 pm

Bruv;1438159 wrote: With all due respect to both the warring factors.................sometimes biting one's tongue is the best policy.

(I am feeling sorry for dirtying my feet in this thread now myself)

I'll buy you some gumboots :wah::wah:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:36 am

Týr;1438157 wrote: No, oscar. That doesn't follow from anything you've written in that post. It's a wrong conclusion. It's a dishonest conclusion. It's a refusal on your part to post anything but a self-serving distortion of what's actually happened. I'm quite happy for you to do it because it's plain to whoever else reads the thread. The honest reply, which you're refusing to give, is that your text "You pointed her to a site titled ' Destitution Funeral's which stated that In some cases, the funeral would be totally free" is actually untrue. So you claim I have reached the wrong conclusion yet you write here In this thread that you don't believe I had Aura's Interests at heart.

You directed her to Destitution Funerals that state If no-one offers to pay for the funeral, the council will carry It out.

If you had bothered as I did to read all her posts and take In what she said, she stated her biggest fear was that her son would not Inherit her possessions. For one reason, other family may take over. That's why I advised her to write a will naming him.

You have jumped to the conclusion that no-one In her family will want to arrange her funeral and It Is wrong for you to make that assumption because It can be misleading to her.

If her primary fear Is that her son will not get her possessions, then pointing out that the Council can possibly take her possessions to pay for the funeral If they arrange It, Is something that is factual and something she can choose to cover herself over. What you did was point her to a site that talked about a situation where the family does not make the arrangements and expected her to navigate her way through pages of officialdom when the very objection from you reporting my post is that Aura needs careful handling.

This entire thread Is down to a difference of opinion and It's not to say that even one of us Is right or wrong. That's why I gave her the number of the Co-OP.

Now to your libel before Bryn returns.

You have stated In this thread that you don't believe that I had her best Intentions at heart. When will you ever learn, that In my full and fulfilled life, I do not seek or wish your approval. I am certainly not scouring every post you make to smear you. I have already done a mornings work by the time you wake up and If you think I have enough hours In the day to be sitting her with the sole purpose of stalking you while I hole down 3 jobs and deal with a seriously Ill husband In and out of hospital right now, then you're barking mad.

Yet, you have lied In that you have had me on Ignore for a year as this Is clearly the case. On the contrary, you have been waiting, watching, scouring every post of mine In the vain attempt of finding something, anything to report.

What you actually reported was a difference of opinion. You started It when you came Into Aura's thread stating that people were trying to scare her for no good reason. ' No good reason' Implies you believe I sat here deliberately trying to frighten a young woman who I have dealt with far more on this forum than you have.

I genuinely believed your post could mislead her and I have given my reasons here with factual evidence. You reported that post out of nothing but sheer maliciousness and called for me to be banned. You then split this thread and started with the personal Insults to goad me Into reacting so you could say ' see Bryn' ??? Followed then by the Character assassination. It's an age old formula.

For the past year I have been employed by South Gloucestershire Council as an escort for brain damaged and vulnerable young people and of which i have under-gone Intensive training. By the way, a job I was reccomended for not applied for. I run the Neighbourhood Watch which by the way, the police asked me to do not applied for. I was asked to volunteer 4 hours a week for Help The Aged and have had In house training on. My husband, when well enough Is a volunteer for Frenchay Hospital. I am on various committee's In my area some of which are designed to helping the elderly, homeless and the vulnerable.

I would estimate I give around 30 hours a week unpaid Into helping other people and I am commended by local authorities for my work and dedication.

Most people on this forum see my news feed on Facebook and know this to be true. If you think I am the kind of person who gives up all their free time to help others and then deliberately sets out to frighten a vulnerable young woman here, then that's a figment of your very over active Imagination. If you treated a vulnerable young person In the patronising fashion you have here with Aura, you'd last 5 minutes In my work. Sure, I don't know It all, I'm still learning all the time but I know how to deal with vulnerable young people with learning disabilities a damn site better than you.

If Bryn lets me continue here then put me on Ignore... stop following me around every damn thread and just leave me alone. No-one else complains about me and no-one else has agreed with you that i should be banned. I will certainly have you on Ignore.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:56 am

oscar;1438255 wrote: you write here In this thread that you don't believe I had Aura's Interests at heart.
You surprise me. Go on, third time, I'll bite once more. Where did I say that? Please quote my exact words. I don't believe I have. I think you're once again telling a lie, as in the two earlier instances, in the hope that incautious passers-by will believe you.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:04 am

Týr;1438258 wrote: You surprise me. Go on, third time, I'll bite once more. Where did I say that? Please quote my exact words. I don't believe I have. I think you're once again telling a lie, as in the two earlier instances, in the hope that incautious passers-by will believe you.

Quote Originally Posted by oscar View Post

That was certainly my only Intention.

Posted by Tyr

I do not for one moment believe you. I believe your post was a reaction to mine and made in an attempt to trash my post. It was also entirely inaccurate and misleading on a purely factual basis as anyone going back and reading it can discover for themselves.

Posted by Tyr

Aura, people are quite likely worrying you for no good reason in this thread. Don't go out wasting your money on a savings plan to cover the cost of your funeral. Don't end up thinking your boy is going to be forced to pay for it otherwise.

I hope you live a long and happy life but whenever it happens, if nobody volunteers to pay for your funeral, then there's a legal obligation on your local council to see that you get a proper funeral in a dignified fashion. You can die without a penny and you'll still be treated respectfully.

If you're buried at the council's expense then they'll be in the queue of people to be paid from whatever money you had left, that's all.

You can google:

"destitute funeral" england

if you want to see more details.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:36 am

Perhaps you simply can't understand plain English.

"I do not for one moment believe" that "That was certainly my only Intention". I said nothing about whether helping Aura was an intention, I said it wasn't your only intention. I said that irrespective of any other intention "I believe your post was a reaction to mine and made in an attempt to trash my post". I rejected your "only". That's what the words mean, that's exactly what they say, they're exactly the words you're quoting at me. For you to write "you write here In this thread that you don't believe I had Aura's Interests at heart" is entirely false.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:46 am

Týr;1438263 wrote: Perhaps you simply can't understand plain English.

"I do not for one moment believe" that "That was certainly my only Intention". I said nothing about whether helping Aura was an intention, I said it wasn't your only intention. I said that irrespective of any other intention "I believe your post was a reaction to mine and made in an attempt to trash my post". I rejected your "only". That's what the words mean, that's exactly what they say, they're exactly the words you're quoting at me. For you to write "you write here In this thread that you don't believe I had Aura's Interests at heart" is entirely false. Then I'll repeat:

Your post was ambiguous. I genuinely believed that the site you directed her to was a) a contradiction entirely given the reason you reported my post and b) your assumption by leading her to that site that no-one In her family would be arranging her funeral. You did not have the right to assume that and point her to a site that may have misled her Into believing the council would do It regardless. My concern was that she would confused and be led Into a false sense of security that If no-one arranged her funeral, then the council would do It and leave her son to Inherit her possessions. This was not the case. She clearly stated her primary concern was ensuring her son gets her possessions and why I offered the advice I gave. Telling her to not waste her money on funeral plans was trashing my post If any trashing was being done.

Týr · Post by **Týr** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:53 am

You're not only confused, you're incoherent.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:22 pm

Týr;1438266 wrote: You're not only confused, you're incoherent.

Back to personal Insults. It's all you have Isn't It ?

Let's put It another way. I was In the thread long before you came In. I read Aura's posts and absorbing which you failed to do, her primary concern that her son Inherited her possessions, I offered the suggestion of a funeral plan that would give her total peace of mind. Dear God, even Theia's come In here and said my advice was an excellent Idea.

Taking In her primary concern, my advice was a way or an option she could choose to take to ensure that upon her death, the council could not take those possessions.

You then came In telling her that she was ' being worried for no good reason' and not to waste her money on funeral plans. You directed her to a site that told her In the first few paragraphs that she could have her assets seized If the council carried out her funeral.... the one thing she was concerned about but also trashing my post In the process.

What part

The site you directed her to was pages of official speak which I believed could have confused her all the more. I would have been concerned equally had any member made that post.

You reported my post on the basis that she need careful handling yet directed her to a site titled ' Destitution' and where she would have seen her assets could be seized.

You have lied that you had me on Ignore. You could have said to Aura ' a funeral plan Is one option but etc etc etc'. You didn't. You deliberately trashed my post with ' being worried for no good reason'. I offered her an option of ensuring her son got her assets. You did not. You directed her to a site that could have scared the life out of her.

But when I had a genuine concern that your site would have frightened her or confused her all the more, Including the assumption that no-one would come forward to pay for her funeral you report the post out of maliciousness and called for me to be banned for daring to actually be genuinely concerned.

Your Idea that I trashed your post deliberately Is all In your mind and ridiculous.

If you hadn't lied that I had been on Ignore for a year, we wouldn't be here now because you wouldn't have seen my posts to come In with ' being worried here for no good reason'.

To advise anyone let alone someone with learning difficulties to not waste their money on funeral plans and leave everything to chance which ultimately could see her last wishes go unfullfilled, Is reckless. Another reason I challenged your post.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:15 am

Abbott & Costello Who's On First - YouTube

Thanks for the entertainment.