I'm confused

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:42 am

Well I've only been back a few days, so I was unaware as to a lot of the back story to some of these issues, but from what I hear the treatment of Val sounds awful. I really hope you are taking some time off Val and haven't decided to leave, because we all miss you and want you back here ASAP!!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:55 am

I'm sure that a lot of people feel that way MrsK. We have such a close, tight family here, that I know for sure that if anyone in here was on the end of unneccessary and unfair treatment from anyone, that we would all stick up for them as true good friends would do.

As for the idea of more Adminstrators, I think that it sounds like a good idea, but I heard that in the past this went wrong, does anyone know why this was??

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 3:53 am

Sigh... Now I'm really confused. There's a whole bunch of new people in here lately. Usually I just take everyone as I find them - and obviously I've missed most of the bad stuff. But GEESCH, I'm now going to feel uncomfortable talking to any new people.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 3:57 am

I've always had a special place in my heart for Val. :-4

As I've noted before, I like what she's made of.

I hope she'll be back when she's ready

She's kinda the Queen of the Garden in my eyes :-6

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 3:58 am

mrsK wrote: And that is the sad part Pam,some may be genuine & we will be ignoring them:(

That is sad alright, when people have come to the stage of now not knowing new people's true objectives, whether they are here genuinely to make friends and have fun, or just to cause trouble.

Felinessa · Post by **Felinessa** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:11 am

I don't see why anyone should apply the stigma to ALL new people. Those who need to be avoided have behaved badly from the beginning, so it's pretty clear who's here to hang out and who's here to stir the sh*t.

Pam - taking everyone as they are works great. I highly doubt it too many people could take "Elsie" as anything but vile :wah:

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:18 am

Clancy my friend :-4

Personally, I want to thank you for caring about the well-being of our Garden

You ROCK :guitarist

In my eyes :-6

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:21 am

I agree Felinessa. I missed all the bad bits. Have just been doing some reading of the recent threads - those that haven't vanished. We have had maybe 10 visitors from another planet in the last couple of days, and I've seen (or heard about) a few nasty bits from two of them only. The others seem to have integrated and be contributing normally. Well, abnormally - which fits in here very well. And hey, I cavorted shamelessly with one rather handsome alien gentleman last night and was on the point of mudwrassling two of the ladies. All in fine good humour.

Reckon we should go on as usual. That is taking people as we find them. Avoiding the nasties, but giving the others the courtesy of our usual warm welcome. Innocent until proven otherwise.

If we all get paranoid, the teeny little pathetic minority of baddies have somehow won whatever it is they are warring about.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:24 am

Moderators. Parents. Public pool lifeguards.

I've never been any of these but I observe. The biggest negative about being in such a position is that whiners will expect you to jump on the smallest of insults. You'd be spending so much time waving away gnats that you'd miss getting the cockroaches.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:26 am

Accountable wrote: You'd be spending so much time waving away gnats that you'd miss getting the cockroaches.

Excellent analogy :-6

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:33 am

Clancy wrote: You have to be totally impartial, and be seen to be impartial, Chris, if it's a friend, foe, buddy, acquaintance, spouse , whatever. You have to remain impartial

Guidelines help, what you can do , what you can't, what you must avoid, how to say it, etc,

We're very lucky in here. Practically everyone in here has the ability to get along for the most part. Forum Garden wouldn't suit many people because it has a age structure whereby young teenagers can join, many prefer a totally adult based group or forum, or the young prefer a group of their own age. Personally, and it's been said by many, this forum is by far the best I've been in.

Many in here who have that canny knack of keeping, or restoring peace and quiet. It's a bit like looking at the different forums in here, many are near expert in their knowledge because it's been a life long hobby at whatever they do, others it's because they are much older, ie, middle age-approaching retirement, and retired, so they have a wealth of background knowledge of life in general.

A place this size, and make no mistake this is a big board because of the daily interaction. There are sites many times the size of this, but the social interaction will be less than in here. Can you imagine what it would be like on a board with fifty thousand ? there are boards like that kicking around. I've been to a few of those, the music/musician ones, but I only used to look on those for specific problem solving

I think you'd be a good choice for mod , Chris

What about Chonsigirl ....she'd be fair and impartial, I think. One of the best mod's I've seen in here, and isn't one, is Valerie. :yh_flower Wouldn't you agree?

.

Thank you Clancy, those are some excellent words you speak of which I completely agree with you. FG is such a wonderful place because people of all kinds, sex, age, belief and so on, can come together from all across the world and become great friends. I have made so many great friends on here that I never would of believed I could have done. A lot of teenagers would just laugh at the thought of having a good friend two times their age, let alone three. But places like FG, where you can meet these kinds of people, will enable you to discover that that theory is stupid, and if you took the time to get to know these people, then you would realise how interesting and fun they can be.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:36 am

cherandbuster wrote: Excellent analogy :-6:yh_blush thanks

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:37 am

Felinessa wrote: I don't see why anyone should apply the stigma to ALL new people. Those who need to be avoided have behaved badly from the beginning, so it's pretty clear who's here to hang out and who's here to stir the sh*t.

Pam - taking everyone as they are works great. I highly doubt it too many people could take "Elsie" as anything but vile :wah:

Felinessa, you are a newbie who has come in, and automatically made her self comfortable, and become a welcome member of the garden. So you are right, we cannot judge all by the actions of a few.

Felinessa · Post by **Felinessa** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:39 am

Marie is psychic :wah:

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:42 am

Well, I try. But, as you can see by my join date, I am relatively new myself..just came on in May. So, I understand what it is like to be the new guy.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:42 am

Hehehe well I agree that anyone who enters FG should always be treated with the same warm welcome that we had the joy of experiencing when we first joined. I can't say a lot on people's backgrounds with FG or on other forums, but if they decide to join up here, then I will make it my duty to welcome then and engage with them as I would everybody else.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:45 am

FG has always loved new guys.. don't get me wrong here. Personally I think it's a sign of a healthy forum to have lots of new people visiting and most of them staying on to become part of the family. Yesterday was just a bit different though. But she'll be right, Sport!!! Anyone for a cold tinnie???

Felinessa · Post by **Felinessa** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:48 am

What's a tinnie? Lady Kitty needs to know the ingredients before sticking her nose in it.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:50 am

For kitties a tinnie has tuna...........

For Pammie it's something a little stronger.................

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:53 am

Hehehe knowing Pam it's probably some kind of drink!!

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:57 am

AussiePam wrote: Sigh... Now I'm really confused. There's a whole bunch of new people in here lately. Usually I just take everyone as I find them - and obviously I've missed most of the bad stuff. But GEESCH, I'm now going to feel uncomfortable talking to any new people.
I am new here and I hope I'm not making anybody uncomfortable. I don't get to spend much time here because I am very busy at the moment but I do enjoy what little time I get . I'm hoping to make many friends here, I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:59 am

fisher wrote: I am new here and I hope I'm not making anybody uncomfortable. I don't get to spend much time here because I am very busy at the moment but I do enjoy what little time I get . I'm hoping to make many friends here, I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.

Fisher..no worries. You are more than welcome. We need someone to help us out if we ever plan a clambake :wah: You are a heck of a nice guy.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:59 am

fisher wrote: I am new here and I hope I'm not making anybody uncomfortable. I don't get to spend much time here because I am very busy at the moment but I do enjoy what little time I get . I'm hoping to make many friends here, I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.

Not at all Fisher. I don't believe I have met you before so welcome to FG!! Your presence is always welcome!! :-6

Felinessa · Post by **Felinessa** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:01 am

Isn't it a tad too early for THAT kind of tinnie? :wah:

Tuna, though, delicious

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:03 am

chrisb84uk wrote: Not at all Fisher. I don't believe I have met you before so welcome to FG!! Your presence is always welcome!! :-6
Thank you chrisb! It is nice to meet you.

Felinessa · Post by **Felinessa** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:05 am

Fishy, isn't it amusing how the innocent newcomers feel the need to justify themselves? :wah:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:09 am

G'day Fisher!! Nice to meet you. Lemme get you a cold tinnie (beer in Oz!) - put some colour in those green Canadian cheeks. Felinessa - its a bit after 10pm here and Friday. Why am I in here and not out on the town???? Hey, that's a good question... the night is yet young!!!!! If I sneak out quietly, Chris won't see me and worry that I'll be up to no good. :sneaky:

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:10 am

AussiePam wrote: G'day Fisher!! Nice to meet you. Lemme get you a cold tinnie (beer in Oz!) - put some colour in those green Canadian cheeks. Felinessa - its a bit after 10pm here and Friday. Why am I in here and not out on the town???? Hey, that's a good question... the night is yet young!!!!! If I sneak out quietly, Chris won't see me and worry that I'll be up to no good. :sneaky:

Hahahaha hey I'm not that much of a worry-wort am I?? :wah:

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:39 am

koan wrote: What is this? the opposite of a pep rally?

My understanding from val was that she sincerely wanted to know if BDS was Jives. She wanted the truth more than she cared about being right. That is noble.

Jives came here to clear up the facts. If he hadn't there would always have been doubt. He came back knowing that he would subject himself to another round of Jives bashing (such as this thread) but felt really bad that someone else was being mistreated because of him. That is noble.

If Val is gone I hope it is just because she is taking a break. Jives didn't start the debacle, and he has nothing to do with the situation except taking pity on BDS. I am glad he stuck out his neck to clear up the confusion. I also hope val realises that everyone here has had at least one embarassing moment and comes back soon.

snooze, go to sleep

HEAR!!! .... HEAR!!! .... .... .... ....

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:57 am

anastrophe wrote: a few things: jives has never been banned. period. never. he has exited when convenient for him - case in point of course when his egregious fiction about being a former bandmember of the Gin Blossoms was outed, at which point he tucked in his tail, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and stayed silent for some six weeks, while his friends tried vainly to defend him - he left them twisting in the wind. yes, he did *finally* admit it, then turned right round and started posting his idiotic aesopian moral fables; the irony would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. "i have this thing called a conscience". uh, yeah, right jives. anyway - jives merely disappears for long stretches, while he thinks up new lies to try to get away with. but banned, no.

i can't speak for val, and if i did i'd be tasting hot lead tout de suite. but trust me on this: she just wants to take a break. the last several days have been very hard on both of us. since i'm a bitter, twisted, feckless, meanly vindictive hoarder of petty resentments - but fully medicated - it's just made me a little melancholy. i'll just verbally batter a few of my favorite punching bags, and all is better. val however isn't me (no *****!). val is a sensitive soul - look, she's a girly girl, and girly girls cry, okay? but there's far weightier things in the corporeal world for us to concern ourselves with; forumgarden is a diversion, the diversion turned unpleasant, so we step away for a bit. she'll be back, i'm sure. but give her some space. she appreciates the outpouring here, make no mistake. but she'd prefer just to have a little peace and quiet in her life, then in the garden, first.

****. i'm going to get my ass kicked for posting this. better hide her brass knuckles.

This is a lovely post Anastrophe!

Therein lies the rub - as someone else said so Shakespeareanly!

Jives was never banned! LC was banned and that was an admin decision, which is fine IMO. I liked her but I didn't know all the behind-the-scenes stuff.

If Jives had been banned, then again a firm and fair admin decision. But the fact that he hasn't (and I always thought he hadn't!) means that we should be fair and stop baiting him and bashing him. We all have people we can't stand - just ignore them - it's the 'grown up' thing to do.

As for Val, well FG is a lot more than just a diversion to a lot of us, and people have said horrible things to me in the past and made me cry too. I think people can be nastier to you when they havent actually met you in the flesh, so to speak. Have a break Val and come back to us refreshed. Don't worry about the nasty things people say, they're just the scum of the earth and their souls are warped and twisted. Far more people here care for you and are more important than some drive-by shooter with an over-inflated ego! :yh_hugs

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:15 am

Thanks for your Post Paul I now understand that Jives was never banned, my mistake. I'm glad to hear Val will be back someday I miss her already..:-4 You both take care we will wait for your return.

Clancy, sweetie your are correct the GARDEN is to big for one person. I say we give MODS a try again, see how it goes. A lot of grief could have been spared if someone had the power the other night to JUST LOCK the thread that would have STOPPED it and Val would still be with us.

[QUOTE]This brings me to, Tombstone. With all due respect. You are the owner, but that said, many people pay to use this forum, purely because it is worth paying for , and it brings a sense of belonging to many. myself included I have raised this in the past, and joined in other threads about it and regretably need to bring it to the fore again. IMHO, This forum needs moderator(s) someone has to be given a button.to remove an offending item, filth, and vile derogatory remarks. [/QUOTE]

ruula · Post by **ruula** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:22 am

i tink shes scooping puppy poop. some ones gotta do it.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:28 am

:yh_hugs VAL :yh_hugs

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Fri Sep 01, 2006 10:28 am

Marie5656 wrote: Guess I missed something by ignoring the troll threads. Jives is behaving right now..so lets cut the guy a break. I am not sure why Val left, but I do not think it is anything one of the regulars said or did.

No offence Marie but behaving or not the guy has caused so much bullshit to fly around he should realise he's not wanted here .He is a compulsive liar and always will be .He is mentally ill .

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:45 pm

Clancy wrote: I'm from humble stock. I just see the bread we fashion from the dregs of what smart boys like you discard. For we make rudimentary loafs from Chardonnay corks and discarded pizza crusts.

Ok, now that I have your eye. I'd like you, please to relay a message to your missus .... (wife) ....(and don't use any of the big girls blouse words that your so fond of spoutin' either) (if you can manage a Scots accent, do, but not groundskeeper willie from the Simpsons)

Tell her..... "all of us know of her good intention in following your lead to what kicked this whole whole shebang off."

Tell her...."we know that she doesn't have a bad bone in her body"....(change that to fabulous body), (and for heavens sake man, say it with a smile).... .....(take her hand)

Say to her .... "Please don't cry", Valerie" (kneel down slowly, look up to her and whisper) "please" (now gently stroke her hair)

Tell her....."the girls love and miss her already" (if she's stopped crying now, and starting to smile) ......"the boys love her madly, and want her back when she's ready"

Smile and make her laugh ......"the next time I get another idea like that" ..... "I'll let Clancy deal with it, and he can take the blame, ok" ...... (say it !)

Clancy, my love, that is such a beautiful post! :-4

I had no idea you could wax so lyrical!

(I thought you were more articulated lorry than articulate!)

(kidding!)

Well said! Good for you! Bravo!

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:49 pm

Clancy wrote:

ArnoldLayne wrote: Rab;..."Do ye know what makes the world gae round ? Eh ? sh!te like me !"

:wah:

ROFLMFAO @ U 2!!!!! :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:52 pm

Rapunzel wrote: Clancy, my love, that is such a beautiful post! :-4

I had no idea you could wax so lyrical!

Oh yes

Our dear Clancy indeed has a way with words :-4

He's one of the most lovely members of our Garden :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:32 pm

koan wrote: What is this? the opposite of a pep rally?

My understanding from val was that she sincerely wanted to know if BDS was Jives. She wanted the truth more than she cared about being right. That is noble.

Jives came here to clear up the facts. If he hadn't there would always have been doubt. He came back knowing that he would subject himself to another round of Jives bashing (such as this thread) but felt really bad that someone else was being mistreated because of him. That is noble.

If Val is gone I hope it is just because she is taking a break. Jives didn't start the debacle, and he has nothing to do with the situation except taking pity on BDS. I am glad he stuck out his neck to clear up the confusion. I also hope val realises that everyone here has had at least one embarassing moment and comes back soon.

snooze, go to sleep

Oh my God ! :rolleyes: I know your not stupid. So why do you keep saying stupid things ?

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:40 pm

Nomad wrote: Oh my God ! :rolleyes: I know your not stupid. So why do you keep saying stupid things ?

I happen to know that's why he came back because I asked him to.

snooze will say that makes me a disturber but the plain facts are that the disturbance had already happened and Jives did, in fact, straighten it out.