How far is acceptable?

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:29 am

spot;463070 wrote: The absence of Moderation on FG is one of the benefits the place offers. Everyone here is equal, Tombstone excepted, and fortunately he's so laid back as to be practically a late sixties hippie prototype. We've seen Moderation in action, it's never ever moderate.

Characterizations aside, Tombstone has expressed his wishes for members to moderate themselves and having an area for potentially disruptive threads allows greater freedom to do that. It is the OP saying "I accept that this may be disruptive but feel justified in posting it". Self moderation in the good 'ol pre-emptive American style.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:36 am

Arrange a time in the chat area,just those who are involved,no one else.

Every one else stay the ******* out.Get it settled right there and then.Don't waste post space.YOU GOT YA BEEF,call'em out to the chat room.at least that way your words are not printed for eternity.And you get it done right there and then.Like locking people in a room until they get along, can't punch'em in the face.

Post by **spot** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:38 am

Hamster;463078 wrote: I think maybe starting a group area is a good idea although the issue here is that it will still be viewable to those underage and those who would be offended. I hope that makes sense?I thought nobody underage was allowed membership here. Assuming you mean under thirteen - isn't there a restriction in the membership agreement about that? In which case yes, a grumble-group that stays off the front page sounds sensible enough, "those who would be offended" needn't join and those underage haven't any access at all.

Post by **spot** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:43 am

Hamster, have a play in http://www.forumgarden.com/groups/groups.php?g=24 and decide whether it suits the bill.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:56 am

SnoozeControl;463105 wrote: That's a very good idea! You're not as dumb as you look, Shweet.

I can ya one better,If you wish not too fight in front of god and everybody in FG.Take too the web cams.

IN YO FACE.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:09 am

Every thread is potentially disruptive, even this one. We can't please everyone. Good lord, how far do we have to bend??

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:11 am

Great idea Tater putting a face to the words and actually hearing a voice can and does work in understanding each others point of views.

[QUOTE]I can ya one better,If you wish not too fight in front of god and everybody in FG.Take too the web cams.

IN YO FACE.[/QUOTE]

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:23 am

Help, I think I'm being a bit dim here but what will the separate area be used for? Is it so that people can actually be unpleasant to one another?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:27 am

Hamster;463117 wrote: Spot I don't think 13 is old enough really?

Is it really going to be that bad? Will there be foul language and dirty slags?

How is this better than a private email??

It seems to be like a setup for a cockfight...and all the bloodthirsty spectators will be coming around taking sides. I don't think it will stay in the arena either.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:28 am

Hamster;463129 wrote: I agree with that!! But I have had issues with people after not bending!! :wah:

They eventually resolve of course but not without leaving a bad feeling around for a while...
Yeh, well ladies wish waxing felt better. Kids want homework to be fun. Parents want attitude adjustment knobs on their teenagers.

Life doesn't work that way.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:32 am

So you mean topics such as sex and the like?

I thought you were wanting a place to have it out with someone...

Half the stuff on FG would need to be moved to this special place Hammy. All the innuendos, all the dirty jokes, etc. It's hard to define everybody's comfort level.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:39 am

When i first got on fg, all the sexual remarks and innuendos were shocking to me. i am not used to hearing people talk that way. but, what the heck, doesn't mean i think you should move to another place. just means, for the most part, i go over it, and ignore it. as, should anybody else, who sees somthing they dont like.

everybody has different personalitys and different backgrounds. what works for one will not work for another. it's called life.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:47 am

Hammy I hear what your saying. I must say there is a certain level of what you should, and shouldn't say here, and face to face to someone period. I don't get offended easily, but others do so I weight my words before posting, as I would do in a real face to face conversation. Just because I think it is OK to say doesn't mean it is, or should be said here or in person, am I making sense. Just a rule of thumb I go by in my everyday living.

[QUOTE]I would like a place to have it out with people on all areas...acceptable or not and at all levels (except for profanity) without fear of reading the next day "I am offended" or "you have gone too far"...[/QUOTE]

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:55 am

Hamster;463143 wrote: Sort of yes..A lot of my smutt and innuendo is because there is no designated area for it.

I know its hard to define levels and that why I get frustrated with this....

I would like a place to have it out with people on all areas...acceptable or not and at all levels (except for profanity) without fear of reading the next day "I am offended" or "you have gone too far"...

Hammy, I respect your feeling. Nobody likes to be smacked around by the thought police. An instance like my soap post I could maybe see posting in a special area. But the innuendos happen in plain conversation. It's just how conversation goes. I don't think you could filter out everything people deemed offensive and still have a good forum because there won't be anything good left. People get offended by politics, social issues, religion, tv shows, etc, etc, as well as stupid little things like Chevy vs. Ford, you know? Why should you or I or anyone have to bend to try and please the unpleasable? I don't know what instance you had that provoked this but I really can't imagine you being offensive. Not deliberately anyway, and if it's not deliberate then why is anyone griping? I think we should tell them to get over themselves! I for one like the diversity of FG, the way it is. That's why I came back in part. We don't need any moderators or thought cops or any of that. If I don't like a thread I go to the next one. I don't IM people and tell them I'm miffed. That's stupid. How do these people get along in the real world?!

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:59 am

Pinky;463150 wrote: Ever since I've been here, there has always been a certain level of controversy which, if I'm really honest, gives FG that spark of life that other forums lack.

For the most part, people here can be good natured enough to tell when people are just yanking a few chains and when they're being seriously offensive.

As for innuendo, etc - I really think that it is a part of British humour. We're brought up with it! Think Benny Hill, Carry On films or Kenny Everitt.

I guess if you're not used to that kind of thing as being fun, I guess it can appear a tad shocking.

Do we really have to water down every little thing and make FG less of what it is?

I don't think so. As long as no-one sets out to deliberately offend anyone, I think there is more than enough room for all our differing views.

yep what pinky said

i spent a couple of years in the states and the sense of humour is just so different a lot of the time our friends from over the pond dont even know we are joking but thats just our way , tragedy we laugh about it sex we laugh about our prime minister every one laughs about it :wah:

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:59 am

I agree Pinky that is what give FG its appeal for sure so many walks of life post here and I love it. :-4

I guess for me I tell myself that FG isn't a "Chat Room" it is a open "Forum for Discussion", and that implies for me a certain amount of protocol. Chat rooms are just areas on different sites where people often go to let it all hang out any topic.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:07 am

Ditto as well I would have been gone the first week. I must say you Brits are a bit cheeky for sure and I love that. :wah: I work with a British gal and I just love to see her get embarrassed when I throw it right back at her. She alway says "Bloody Hell" when I do it and we have a great laugh. I'm old but I have a wicked sense of humor..

[QUOTE]I agree Carla and I always temper my responses before posting...I would have lasted about a day here if not! [/QUOTE]

Post by **spot** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:08 am

Accountable;463122 wrote: Every thread is potentially disruptive, even this one. We can't please everyone. Good lord, how far do we have to bend??See the thread about the dead deer.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:15 am

spot;463170 wrote: See the thread about the dead deer.

Spot, did the deer thread offend you because of its disgusting subject matter itself or is not an acceptable post for another reason? I ask because you should be offended- any decent person would be. I didn't post it to offend anyone. I posted it because I thought FG was a forum of adults and that was a bizarre headline.

Hammy, I am glad you would not actually leave. It would be incredibly dull without you. I seem to offend many people but I have no plans to go. I have a right to be here as do you. Too many people here are nice to me and seem to enjoy me, I can't worry about the rest.

For the record, the PC Police tick me off. I get sick of being corrected when some people think I'm wrong. It's always over trivial dumb stuff too.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:19 am

That's true about Nomad. :wah: I didn't know how to take him at first either.

I am amused that people would automatically think another person is trying to insult them right off the bat! I enjoy the different words and phrases people in other parts use. I've learned to ask if I don't understand which should be taken as a compliment that I care, not that I am trying to be annoying.

Post by **spot** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:20 am

RedGlitter;463178 wrote: For the record, the PC Police tick me off. I get sick of being corrected when some people think I'm wrong. It's always over trivial dumb stuff too.You'll be pleased to note that I was making yet another of my untranslatable naff jokes, then. "Good lord, how far do we have to bend??" - "See the thread about the dead deer". You have to be as twisted as me to get it. I'd have done it again with "trying to insult them right off the bat" and Zinky, but I drew the line instead.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:25 am

spot;463184 wrote: You'll be pleased to note that I was making yet another of my untranslatable naff jokes, then. "Good lord, how far do we have to bend??" - "See the thread about the dead deer". You have to be as twisted as me to get it. I'd have done it again with "trying to insult them right off the bat" and Zinky, but I drew the line instead.

Ohhh....! I see now! I'm sorry I misunderstood, Spot. See though, this is a good example of people misunderstanding just because of natural differences in how they talk, how they phrase things. Sorry Spot. I had thought my deer thread offended you the same way my soap post offended Clint yesterday. I admit I'm still learning how you say things; I hope you'll be tolerant of me.

Post by **spot** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:37 am

RedGlitter;463190 wrote: I hope you'll be tolerant of me. :)The fault is entirely mine. People who have known me most of my life still rightly regard me as incoherent.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:45 am

Hamster;463115 wrote: I know what you are reffering to here Shweet but I am not looking for a place to settle one particular fight with a certain member. More of a place where a few more controversial members can speak freely without fear of hurting people's feelings...

I have no idea what you are talking about,Perhaps you can pm me and spank me straight.

What i maent was sometimes these things are better settled real time and all at once.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:46 am

spot;463201 wrote: The fault is entirely mine. People who have known me most of my life still rightly regard me as incoherent.

I'll second that.

It is entirely his fault.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:48 am

Excellent point Hammy and very true indeed.

[QUOTE]People are automatically set to "defend" though aren't they? Usually people are on the negative straight off in RL and sometimes here aswell..[/QUOTE]

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Nov 18, 2006 11:51 am

Whats THAT supposed too mean??