Lost in Translation

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:16 pm

Us English speakers take our wonderfully adaptable and expressive language for granted, thanks England, but spare a thought for those poor people from other parts of the world who must try and deal with English in their work, though their grasp of it is somewhat limited. I will give you a brief example to illustrate my point.

ACTUAL ENGLISH SUBTITLES USED IN FILMS MADE IN HONG KONG

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring, lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure

you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the

dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits

and can now deliver you volently to your gynecologist for a thorough

examination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up

together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feats on

some ass of the giant lizard person.

:wah:

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:20 pm

those are priceless!!!! i am nicking them! :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:24 pm

lady cop;475775 wrote: those are priceless!!!! i am nicking them! :wah:

I'm glad you didn't say number 11 was your favorite! :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:25 pm

Pinky;475772 wrote:

That second from last one really cracked me up!!!:wah:

Funnily enough, my sister said the same thing.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:28 pm

Galbally;475780 wrote: I'm glad you didn't say number 11 was your favorite! :wah:well...er...uh...ahem:o ...*clears throat*

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:28 pm

ArnoldLayne;475782 wrote: Those are great

Dont you just love a badly dubbed kung fu film :wah:

"Agreed honourable arnold, you can see that I am serious?. Now is laughing time, tomorrow we must honour the fists of our enemies with our faces!"

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:28 pm

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

That should be a sig line!

:wah: :wah:

These are great!

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:36 pm

these are hilarious......:wah: :wah:

Insomniac · Post by **Insomniac** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:41 pm

RedGlitter....as you were saying that I'd made it my sig line!!! It's hysterical!!!

Galbally, #5 had me hysterical! Thanks for posting this, it's great!

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:42 pm

Insomniac...*twilight zone music* :wah:

I like your cow by the way.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:44 pm

I'm just bumping this one up again for some light relief! :wah:

koan · Post by **koan** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:48 pm

English is a Crazy Language

by Richard Lederer

Let's face it: English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

And while no one knows what is in a hotdog,

you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.

English muffins were not invented in England

nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,

which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes,

we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square,

and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write,

but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce,

and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?

Is cheese the plural of choose?

One mouse, 2 mice.

One louse, 2 lice.

One house, 2 hice ?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as Hell one day

and cold as Hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.

You fill in a form by filling it out

and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

You get in and out of a car,

yet you get on and off a bus.

When the stars are out, they are visible,

but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it,

but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

English is a silly language ...

it doesn't know if it is coming or going !!

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:50 pm

thats funny :wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:07 pm

jimbo;476409 wrote: thats funny :wah:
Are you sure you werent the translator jimbo?:wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:18 pm

YZGI;476427 wrote: Are you sure you werent the translator jimbo?:wah:
mate i'm lucky i have the lovely cher to explain my posts i am aware they make very little sense but i am the voice of unreason in a sensible world

:wah: :wah:

Insomniac · Post by **Insomniac** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:34 pm

Koan, that was funny! I liked it so much, I'm nicking it!

And, that's the first time I've ever used the word "nick" to mean something other than a small cut or Santa's first name.

koan · Post by **koan** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:05 pm

we'll make this to bring you language jokes here thread?

the OP was great. almost sounds like a movie title.

"Lost in Translation" starring Arnold Schwartznegger

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:49 pm

I'm bumping this up again in the hopes that babyrider will see it and see that FG isn't all about everyone fighting and wailing at the minute, though it probably seems that way!

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:14 pm

There have to be more good language jokes out there. The truer the better.

Question about the OP though, were the translations subtitles that were then translated back to English equivalents? Because if they were English language films they wouldn't be subtitled in English. Or were they foreign films translated poorly to English subtitles?

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:16 pm

ok. just reread it. they were foreign ones that subtitled in English.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:20 pm

Quick recovery

New Joke:

Be Careful Following The Crowd

A missionary recruit goes to Venezuela for the first time, struggling with the language. He visits one of the local churches and sits in the front row.

So as not to make a fool of himself, he decides to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He decides to follow the man sitting next to him in the front pew. As they sing, the man claps his hands, so the missionary recruit claps, too. When the man stands up to pray, the missionary recruit stands up, too. When the man sits down, the missionary sits down.

Later in the service, the man next to him stands up again, so the missionary stands up, too.

Suddenly a hush falls over the entire congregation. A few people gasp. The missionary looks around and sees that no one else is standing. So he sits down.

After the service ends, the missionary recruit greets the preacher. "I take it you don't speak Spanish," the preacher says.

The missionary replies, "No, I don't. It's that obvious?"

"Well yes," the preacher says. "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy, and I asked the proud father to please stand up."

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:57 pm

Double Positives?

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive.

In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

Insomniac · Post by **Insomniac** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:55 pm

That was good Koan!

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:05 pm

It would probably be something like,

I am laughing at an inconvient rate, you must relieve my happiness with your pistol sirah!

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:29 pm

Galbally;478572 wrote: It would probably be something like,

I am laughing at an inconvient rate, you must relieve my happiness with your pistol sirah!

Come on, Gal. Give us another. Take a common phrase or saying and transform it.

eg) Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:09 am

koan;478583 wrote: Come on, Gal. Give us another. Take a common phrase or saying and transform it.

eg) Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

These avians? They are too numerous and cocky my friend! We must gun-execute some now to teach discipline to the ones who live in their eggs! The shipment of perishable goods arrives at noon, be there with pistols and bring your fists too!

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:11 am

Galbally;478734 wrote: These avians? They are too numerous and cocky my friend! We must gun-execute some now to teach discipline to the ones who live in their eggs! The shipment of perishable goods arrives at noon, be there with pistols and bring your fists too!

:D

if you ever need a fall back job, translator is the way to go.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 12:17 pm

koan;478826 wrote:

if you ever need a fall back job, translator is the way to go.

Yes, into that film dubbed english, as long as the original language was also english, a good job if you can get it, but the range is limited in where you can go with it, perhaps I will open a hong kong kungfu style translation service to go in hand with the advice column?