When Is The Line Crossed?

koan · Post by **koan** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:15 pm

Yeah, right. We're just jealous :rolleyes:

View the situation like this:

If you know someone is sleeping around on their spouse, do you tell them?

At first the thought might be YES they have the right to know, then you might think, NO, it will only cause heart ache. Then you see them later and find out the partner is still sleeping around. Yikes. Ok. Now I have to say something. This just isn't right. Then you think NO because then I'll have to prove it and more people will be hurt....

Then a year goes by and you find out that the person is still betraying them and no one else has said a word. At some point the cheater will be caught. It's just a matter of who blows the whistle first.

If your partner was cheating on you on a regular basis, would you want to know? Even if a year has gone by the damage is ongoing. Why let it continue?

Saffron · Post by **Saffron** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:24 pm

koan;476856 wrote: Yeah, right. We're just jealous :rolleyes:

View the situation like this:

If you know someone is sleeping around on their spouse, do you tell them?

At first the thought might be YES they have the right to know, then you might think, NO, it will only cause heart ache. Then you see them later and find out the partner is still sleeping around. Yikes. Ok. Now I have to say something. This just isn't right. Then you think NO because then I'll have to prove it and more people will be hurt....

Then a year goes by and you find out that the person is still betraying them and no one else has said a word. At some point the cheater will be caught. It's just a matter of who blows the whistle first.

If your partner was cheating on you on a regular basis, would you want to know? Even if a year has gone by the damage is ongoing. Why let it continue?
Is this the correct thread?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:27 pm

If that's addressed to me Koan, I don't know. I can't see any parallel in your cheating spouse illustration to anything I've said.

Really going back to Christmas cards now.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:53 pm

YZGI;476799 wrote: I am going to post without reading the entire thread. I know I am a Virtual newbie. I am not into any groups. When I first saw tombstones group,I joined, for no other reason than to see if I was missing something. I realize that people have problems with others but for crying outloud this is crazy. I really have no problem with anyone I have met here. I aspire to be as funny and witty as nomad. I wish I was as well read as koan and spot ( even though I dont agree with them most of the time I still respect them most of the time.) Saying this, I just want to be my flippant self and hope the posters I enjoy continue to post here. I usually have fun reading this drama and actually still do. But I would hate to lose members that I have come to respect and enjoy over this. JMO

good to see buddy you have given up trying to be as funny as me

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:43 am

quote clancy - I’m surprised at the “peacekeepers in here, I don’t hear calls for “Let It Go “Don’t Pick At Scabs ¦..

Clancy i like to think of myself as a peacekeeper, when 24 said he was leaving this thread alone due to it coming up for xmas, that to me said - end of thread, at that time i thanked him for doing that & hoped the thread would just die, way too much bad feeling of late, the fact that it has kept going - sigh, is showing some still want to pick at scabs.

I aslo note any positive threads of late dont even have a third of the posts or views of the spiteful one's, what does that say?

Do i want to let it go - yes. Do you? Does everyone else? I know who the **** stirrers & bitches & back stabbers are, ive always known, you all know, this is nothing new.

Pick at scabs - No. Im all for letting them heal.

Was 24 on a recruiting drive or here to cause trouble - maybe, i just dont know but if that is the case he's got all the members your all complaining about so whats the problem?

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:05 am

No one of us is worse or better than another...most of what we say about others is a projection of our own stuff anyway, but in order to make it known to ourselves or to ensure that we don't have to face it, we lay it on someone else.

It's the hardest thing to do to see someone else's faults or failings as belonging to ourselves...I wish I could claim success in this but no, I find myself constantly protesting that it's "him" or "her" not me!! But realistically, how can it be so when each of our worlds begins in our own minds?

Okay, so I could be accused here of trying to be a peacemaker...I'm not, I'm constantly warring with myself so how on earth could I project peace? I suppose this is merely a plea that we all take time out to look at what annoys us about another and then, for a few moments, look honestly at the issue involved. Are we absolutely sure that we don't have just a little of that within ourselves? And is it so bad if we do? We are all human beings who are struggling through life, frequently hurting ourselves and others, it's okay to admit to the stuff within us that we don't like...this can maybe make us stronger in some way?

Thank you, Clancy, your post got me thinking this way...

Okay, sermon over...I'm off to vent my feelings in a pm, there is someone here I really can't stand :wah:

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:22 am

pompom;477003 wrote: Excellent post, Theia:-6

Thank you, my lovely friend...how often have we talked together about this kind of thing? I'm so fortunate to know you :-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:32 am

19 people have viewed the peaceful petition so far & only three have added thier name, what does that say?

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:37 am

pompom;477008 wrote: (you know how much I hate these bloody things? ->:-4

:-4 :-4

Sorry!!! (I would have used more but I wasn't allowed...4 is the limit!)

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:00 am

buttercup;476995 wrote: quote clancy - I’m surprised at the “peacekeepers in here, I don’t hear calls for “Let It Go “Don’t Pick At Scabs ¦..

Clancy i like to think of myself as a peacekeeper, when 24 said he was leaving this thread alone due to it coming up for xmas, that to me said - end of thread, at that time i thanked him for doing that & hoped the thread would just die, way too much bad feeling of late, the fact that it has kept going - sigh, is showing some still want to pick at scabs.

I aslo note any positive threads of late dont even have a third of the posts or views of the spiteful one's, what does that say?

Do i want to let it go - yes. Do you? Does everyone else? I know who the **** stirrers & bitches & back stabbers are, ive always known, you all know, this is nothing new.

Pick at scabs - No. Im all for letting them heal.

Was 24 on a recruiting drive or here to cause trouble - maybe, i just dont know but if that is the case he's got all the members your all complaining about so whats the problem?

Butter, I realize you dont like fighting and I posted after you asked to let it die. Not because I wanted to see this get gragged on and on, but because I have an opinion about this too and didnt want to post to hastily so I let it simmer for a couple of days. I imagine thats what some others did too. It was not stirring or anything.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:22 am

Hi dg

i dont see your name in the peace petition, do you want to see the fighting stop?

I think all this fighting has answered 24's question, dont you? - the line has been crossed, its now a case of what are we all prepared to do about it :-6

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:57 am

i think if we want the fighting to stop we need to stop posting about it, just stop..

this will be my only post on this thread promise..

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:02 am

tee hee.

Attached files

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:26 am

Pinky;477252 wrote: Sorry to stir the pot here, but those who objected so vehemently about a group have done a damn good job of fuelling the fire and egging the bitchiness too. Isn't that why this thread is still going?

Snarky little comments to get a reaction out of someone do far more damage than having a whinge and then getting on with it.

Now is everyone just going to STF up or not?

I will STF up but its hard when you are bombarded with PM's!:wah:

Edited to add: I dont mean that as snide either.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:32 am

I've noticed if you put something sexual in a thread it tends to get less snarky. You first.

Post by **spot** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:37 am

Pinky;477252 wrote: Sorry to stir the pot here, but those who objected so vehemently about a group have done a damn good job of fuelling the fire and egging the bitchiness too. Isn't that why this thread is still going?You've got the wrong end of the stick a bit, Pinks. It's not any egging that keeps it on the front page - if you look at who posted most of all in here it's actually Novelty 26 posts, 24Hours 25 posts, DesignerGal 22 posts... the reasonable voices are all in single figures. To find the matchbox you should look more toward the group than its detractors. Like Zinky I've no interest in posting here again, but I'll leave you with a bit of Shakespeare: Hamlet. Madam, how like you this play?

Queen. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Hamlet. Oh, but she'll keep her word.

King. Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in it?

Hamlet. No, no! They do but jest, poison in jest; no offence in the world.

Edit add: The play in question was 'The Mousetrap'. The setter ineptly caught his own fingers this time.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:41 am

spot;477268 wrote: You've got the wrong end of the stick a bit, Pinks. It's not any egging that keeps it on the front page - if you look at who posted most of all in here it's actually Novelty 26 posts, 24Hours 25 posts, DesignerGal 22 posts... the reasonable voices are all in single figures. To find the matchbox you should look more toward the group than its detractors. Like Zinky I've no interest in posting here again, but I'll leave you with a bit of Shakespeare:

Hamlet. Madam, how like you this play?

Queen. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Hamlet. Oh, but she'll keep her word.

King. Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in it?

Hamlet. No, no! They do but jest, poison in jest; no offence in the world.

So now Im unreasonable? Thats a good one coming from you.:wah:

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:47 am

spot;477268 wrote: You've got the wrong end of the stick a bit, Pinks. It's not any egging that keeps it on the front page - if you look at who posted most of all in here it's actually Novelty 26 posts, 24Hours 25 posts, DesignerGal 22 posts... the reasonable voices are all in single figures. To find the matchbox you should look more toward the group than its detractors. Like Zinky I've no interest in posting here again, but I'll leave you with a bit of Shakespeare:

Hamlet. Madam, how like you this play?

Queen. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Hamlet. Oh, but she'll keep her word.

King. Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in it?

Hamlet. No, no! They do but jest, poison in jest; no offence in the world.

I hardly post at all, and I'm really unreasonable! Oh yes I am! There's absolutely no reasoning with me at all! Ask Jim! :wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:59 am

24Hours;475791 wrote: In your opinion, when is the line crossed between a healthy use and enjoyment of an internet forum site and a dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it?

It becomes a dysfunctional unhealthy use of the net when one is repeatedly in the center of controversial matters time and time again, forum after forum, year after year. I don't mean debates I mean flame wars, gang's, cliques and the likes that have been referenced here and I am sure in other forums.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:23 am